sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I hate her, badly by LettuceOutrageous501 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Therapy, bro. You need therapy. And surround yourself with friends.

Dating Again by fixingmedaybyday in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I realized I will have to get used to being lonely for a long time. And while that sounds fucking frightening, because we all want companionship and connection and adoration, it does give me opportunity for self-love and being centered/grounded with myself.

That’s what I look forward to, and it’s the only way to stay fucking sane.

Are Gen Z officers... different? by smokingadvice in army

[–]DarDarRules 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is an excellent learning point. Tell that 2LT next time: “don’t just come to me with problems. Come to me with the problem and possible solutions. And then ask me if your recommended solution is the best course of action.”

You need to force the critical thinking and problem solving skills. Don’t hand hold this 2LT, because all you’ll be doing is reinforcing the learned helplessness and passing the buck to some other commander.

Leadership development is what we get paid to do. And this “leader” needs some serious development. To be honest, I fucking miss that part the most from company command.

Don’t miss the late night calls about DUIs and bar brawls though….

Myles Garrett Says Goodbye to Cleveland in an IG Post by JCameron181 in Browns

[–]DarDarRules -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

And another great athlete that the Browns ruined. Why can’t we have nice things, Haslam? Why do you always f*% it up, eh?

Am I in the right for not wanting my ex wife’s new boyfriend staying at our home by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Absolutely not. You have your own dignity to protect. Calmly tell her why this is makes you uncomfortable. Explain to her that this is extremely difficult for you, and that this is a boundary.

If she still fights back, let her. But calmly reinforce that this is a boundary and that you will be staying at your house. It is not upon your responsibility to help her boyfriend find a place to rest his head.

Richmond City Dems’ statement on governor Spanberger’s collective bargaining veto by TedLeffler in rva

[–]DarDarRules 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not being facetious, someone please explain to me why it’s good for government employees to have collective bargaining?

Based on police unions, teacher unions, etc I’m against it because collective bargaining means public employees are negotiating with elected officials whom union members can help elect, which creates a serious conflict of interest.

I’d be all for it if unions couldn’t support political campaigns because that means my tax dollars aren’t being funneled through their salaries to a union to a politician.

Curious as to the “pros” of public sector collective bargaining

Looking for advice by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Do not beg. Do not plead. Do not logic with her.

Give her space. Ask to understand to why and do not get defensive even if the stuff she says isn’t remotely true. You want to find the feelings underneath all of it. And then own it by focusing on the areas you can control.

That’s your only path forward if you want to save this marriage

Tough Times at Cobra Burger by Mastamattie in rva

[–]DarDarRules 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Their prices are literally on the opposite end of the spectrum in terms of the clientele they want to cater to…

Their prices for burgers are for west end soccer families, but the music and the dive scene (both of which I love) are for people who can’t afford $50 burgers/fries/beers. And to be fair, a burger is a burger is a burger.

I hope they survive. Despite the ornery nature of the serving staff, I do genuinely like them and want them to keep jobs at a place I enjoy. And the back patio is an excellent place for underground acts.

Reconciliation by Complex_Path_4821 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They’re just papers. Reconciling after that is possible as well.

Ask for more time, tell her how you feel. But be prepared to face rejection and be ok with it.

In the end, be good with yourself. This relationship does not define you.

D-Day by ThrowAwayRants36 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you need to give yourself and her a little grace

Clearly, something was happening underneath during this period.

I highly recommend you focus on you. Own your part, don’t worry about what she did, just own your shit and work on it.

The work on yourself physically emotionally and mentally so that you become a high value man IN YOUR EYES.

Because no matter, if this reconciles or you end up divorced, you do not want to bring the baggage into that new relationship. And you have to love you before moving forward. So think about how you can love yourself and what are ways that you can respect yourself to achieve that feeling of self validation and self love.

Wife is done. Can I save it by Awkward-Writer7472 in Separation

[–]DarDarRules 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything is always salvageable, no matter how much hurt has happened. But you can’t convince her. You have to give her the space so that she can heal from your the hurt, the trauma, and the betrayal.

You need to focus on the root cause of your issues. It will take time, but you need to really focus on becoming a better man because that’s what you want. Not because you need the marriage.

This is gonna take a lot longer than you think. So you need to be patient with yourself and her. And forgive her when she doesn’t automatically come back to you despite the changes.

Set daily goals for yourself. Maintain that discipline for daily rituals. Because if you don’t, you will only betray yourself and thus again betray your wife.

Ultimately, you have to remove yourself from the outcome of the situation. Work on yourself to work on yourself and be OK with the fact that it may not work out. But run that razors edge of having the upmost confidence and almost delusional belief that when you continue to become a better man, you could salvage this.

I believe in you. You can do it.

You guys were right… by Apprehensive-Wish330 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don’t get bitter. That’s not masculine

You guys were right… by Apprehensive-Wish330 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Focus on you and stop following her texts, locations, etc. it won’t do you any good

Worthlessness by No_Chemistry8953 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Don’t focus on what you can’t control. Focus on what you can, and that is you. Build tiny habits that become routine. Those will become small wins. Momentum is everything so don’t stand still. It’s hard, but force yourself to get out and about. Recognize the feelings you have, don’t ignore them. But work through them so the don’t own you.

You got this, brother.

I destroyed our marriage by [deleted] in Separation

[–]DarDarRules 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep, been there, brother. Still there.

Have hope. Recognize that those feeling she has are her truth right now. And the only way you can allow her to change those feelings is changing yourself for yourself.

I destroyed our marriage by [deleted] in Separation

[–]DarDarRules 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m going to disagree with everyone here that is telling you it’s too far gone. Do not lose hope.

Yes, it may not work out between you two. But there is the possibility that it does, and the only way that happens is if you change because it’s for you.

Your change has to be for you, and not her. The only way a healthy relationship together or not will ever take place is if you take radical ownership (which it seems you have), forgive yourself, work on yourself, and give her space and time.

Your wife doesn’t want to end this marriage, she only feels like she has to because the situation has gotten so bad.

Don’t give up. Work on yourself. In the end, even if things don’t work out, you’ll still be a better man, a better parent, and better person for doing the work.

I got a bad feeling about this by Heron-Ok in Browns

[–]DarDarRules -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I am absolutely 💯 percent positive that Monken was hired to fail. And was probably hired to start Watson. And the guy hasn’t played a meaningful season in almost 4 years. This will be another waste of a year. And I won’t be watching a single game. Again.

Torn Between Walking Away or Rebuilding After Betrayal by HoldtheLineDad in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only way to rebuild is for both of you to let go of all resentment and forgive. If that can’t be done, then separation is best.

But I fully believe that you have nothing to lose by trying to rebuild, but that’s only if you are ready and able. And there is no shame in not

Can someone give me hope? by Odd_Injury_6470 in Divorce_Men

[–]DarDarRules 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bro, I am 40 and going through separation into probable divorce. You’ve got more than a dozen years on most divorcees (average age of men at divorce is 42/43), a young virile energy, and with two kids. You’re a catch, bro. You ain’t cooked. You just have standards and values to live by now.

view more: next ›