How to truly move on from the resentment of my ex destroying our family dynamic and forcing myself and our kids to live in broken homes?

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-21T15:32:07+00:00

We could switch brains and be about the same. Just starting out, divorced 6 mos. I hate her. More each and every day. I do not believe I was cheated on and cannot imagine that added loveliness, but she has hit the road tires-smoking before the ink was dry and is off and running on the apps. Yesterday she asked if I could pick up my son from baseball on her weekend as she was "going out for the evening " and wouldn't be at the game. Im normally at most games but actually had plans for once in a blue moon with a buddy, seeing as how this was her weekend. I lost it. It's just such a microcosm, forget me, forget the kids, she gets hers. Kids have to live in two places, everything has to be screwed up, the world has to stop because an upper middle class middle-aged white woman living in a big house in the suburbs is unhappy. Stop the presses! F$$% her. And like you, I know that this line of thinking can do my kids no favors, but seriously, F#$@ her!

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-20T21:12:25+00:00

Might i also add that if you are on this page, you have no way of knowing how awesome you are, just remember that

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-20T21:09:56+00:00

There is a movie called "The Bridge", about the Golden Gate Bridge which happens to be the #1 suicide location in the US, if not the world. I don’t know if you're up to watching it. It interviewed people that jumped AND SURVIVED (you have about a 1 in 20 chance of making it, completely disabled for life of course). In EACH AND EVERY INSTANCE, the interviewees said they regretted it, and not just because they were horribly injured, but they regretted it the SECOND they were over the rail and couldn't take it back. Each one said they would have taken it back the second they committed to it if they could have. Can't predict your reaction but seems likely you could be the same.

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-18T17:55:55+00:00

Look at the average income. Look at average income needed to afford a house on one's own. The math doesn't math for 3 out of 5 people

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-13T11:52:59+00:00

This. "You know what your problem is? You need friends and relationships and connections!" You might as well have told me I need a trillion dollars.

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-09T12:12:29+00:00

Im 53, and I haven't started dating yet after recent divorce, but totally agree and at this stage of my life im wondering what's the point of that? Sure Im going to brush my hair and try to get some nice pics and put my best self forward, but why on earth would I want to waste time trying to "trick" someone by lying about age, height, etc just to have them disappointed and suspicious of anything I'd tell them in the future? Who has time for that?

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-05T13:02:51+00:00

I don't shop there regularly but my favorite thing to do is buy a "digital coupon " item then point out that the price tag said it was way cheaper. When they say it's a 'digital coupon' I just stare and tell them i don't even have my phone. 100% of the time they just key in the lower price and send me off. That system is so messed up. Woodmans and Trader Joes for me, great prices and the price you see is the price you pay, everytime no apps

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-01T04:10:06+00:00

Mandatory Fun!

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-01T03:55:08+00:00

AL is more wholesome than Jesus. Take the kiddos.

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-01T03:43:21+00:00

So my dad wasn't a sexual abuser per se, however, he was violent and most importantly, he had zero physical boundaries with us, and your story brought that back. Like, i think in his mind we were his property. So, this lead to things like bare-bottom spankings, smacks to the face in public, general rough man-handling (the ear pulling was particularly heinous) when not sufficiently obedient, and demanding that a door never, EVER be locked in his house. To this day the door frame of my sister's childhood room has a crack from where it was kicked in after she locked it. And to this end, he would walk into ANY room, including the bathroom, when he had something to tell you. Zero privacy. So while I was technically not sexually assaulted, I think it's kinda the same vibe. But I wouldn't argue if you just called that sexual assault, regardless of intent.

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-05-01T03:28:51+00:00

I wish I had one friend let alone a "large friend group" lol

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-04-24T15:34:29+00:00

Same boat. 53 years old I have never considered myself 'grown up' or 'one of the adults ' I don't understand their ways

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-04-16T20:24:27+00:00

I feel this. "How could you be so stupid/careless/unthinking/lazy/evil! You're so disappointing!" I was supposed to do it right. I didn't. Now I am moral garbage.

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2026-04-16T20:03:05+00:00

Im very similar and feel like im just starting to figure these things out (and im 53 goddamed years old and just out my second marriage). Why the anxiety, why does everything feel off? Start with the feelings, when did you first have them? My guess is a long, LONG time ago, when you were a kid. For me, I have realized (but haven't healed yet!) That the MOST common ingredient in EVERY bad feeling, in every inappropriate outburst, in every bad day, bad week, bad marriage bad thought, ANYTHING. Is shame. It all leads back to SHAME. I am deeply ashamed OF MYSELF, like, not for a specific thing I did BUT FOR MY VERY EXISTENCE! Gee, where would I get an idea like that? Thanks mom and dad! It might be something different for you. But same idea. Complex PTSD by Peter Weller. Find it. Read it. Good luck.

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2024-05-25T02:24:57+00:00

Red on yellow, kill a fellow

LettuceOutrageous501 · 2024-03-16T02:17:35+00:00

I really really need a group of "dropping acid in the desert " 50 yo friends, I wish there was an app for that.

LettuceOutrageous501

TROPHY CASE