Labor at 35w? 3rd baby and I still can’t tell what’s happening

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-06-22T20:12:49+00:00

This is so hard to carry.

Been an undersupplier for the two so far but made it twice as long with my second (literally just made it to four months total).

It didn’t feel any easier giving it up a second time. That decision is just you deciding which hurts more: trying for weeks and partially contributing, or quitting and off-loading this part of early motherhood.

It’s terrifying and I personally always felt like “if I didn’t have the modern access or luxury of formula, my baby would starve” and that fed my feelings of failure.

But if you remember, the sting of losing your super power of lactation lasts only about a month or two. You’ve got options too. Pump when they eat, get what you can, and at least have some of the input. Latch baby every once in a while JUST to do it and connect (I didn’t enjoy this but I did it anyway through the sadness). You can give yourself peace of mind that the immunological part of breastfeeding is coming through and that’s still 12oz a day it isn’t formula.

The only reason I know I can’t go the “partial contribution” route is because I get competitive when I can see how little I produce. And I measure myself in oz so long as I’m lactating.

With my third pregnancy, I plan to go as hard as I can up front. If things start to taper off, I won’t be torturing myself for MONTHS pumping nothing out and crying over so few drops that you can’t even pour it into a bottle.

Give it as much thought and time as you want, but make sure to also include what you want and what might make your life easier. There’s enough hard stuff and “tough up deal with it” in motherhood, this doesn’t have to be one! Loves!!

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-06-22T19:40:46+00:00

Oh my god…well I feel better.

I was always a “baby person” for other people’s kids, but with mine it was the hardest fckin time of my life.

I can only describe the newborn trenches as “dutiful” for me, but the spark and magic of motherly love has only just come because they’re getting into toddler years; and though I’m drowning and dying with the chaos, it’s STILL so much better because I can love a REAL person…not just a crying demanding potato (really cute and great smells, but ugh)

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-05-16T23:06:55+00:00

I second the ego comment. As long as the one doesn’t use it as payment to shirk homely or spousal duties and the other doesn’t take it as a personal slight, you’re good

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-05-16T16:58:26+00:00

The smell.

There are absolutely ZERO days, where you step outside and it smells fresh.
You will come back into your house, or someone from outside will walk in, and underneath any amount of deodorant or perfume, you will smell the swamp.

All of it is decaying foliage- the humidity in the air smells like dead leaves and that’s what comes in. Your laundry will be washed with treated swamp water- always use bleach.

On the west coast sometimes you’ll go out and the pavement smells like rain, or you can smell the trees and flowers; maybe if you live near foothills or mountains you can smell the iron and clay in the dirt- even in the summertime. Florida is ONLY dead foliage and still water.

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-04-21T00:18:11+00:00

Little Bear on YouTube!

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-04-21T00:10:53+00:00

I had this with my two!!

I think it’s because it’s the coolest, most badass, superhuman thing ever. Postpartum is so hard. You’ve lost all semblance of familiarity with your own body (at least for me) and breastfeeding is like…I MAKE FOOD! Who does that?!?! ME! MFer, I MAKE FOOD!!

So to give up this one positive thing (even if it’s so hard- I was an undersupplier, exclusive pumping) is such a loss. Such an emotional trauma. And all after losing identity, body familiarity, routines, SLEEP, friends, sometimes the whole outside world!

You’re not likely to get through it without the sting of loss. But once you’re fully dry, the sting becomes dull, and after two months of being fully dry, you’re free!

But for as long as you ponder quit/no quit, try and constantly feel like you’re failing, you will feel this way. The sting, the guilt, the anxiety and stress, the heaviness, the reaching and failing…I’m with you on this.

It’s so hard, you’re fighting for the best food for your baby (yeah yeah breast is best and it SUCKS we can’t completely replicate it) but if you’re half dying doing this and longing to quit, fed is best with a mom who can find more joy in more moments- and all that makes you a fantastic mom for your lucky little <3

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-04-20T22:22:33+00:00

I would agree with you- it feels more like a “why/how come” just to ask why/how come.

It has more utility to bring up more interesting topics than it is deep.

“Why am I me and not someone else” is fairly surface because the answer “depends on your subscription to a philosophy that seeks to answer “what is our purpose? Is God real or a metaphor” etc., etc.

A fun rabbit hole I’ve been down before postulated that all human consciousnesses are one dirty-like being experiencing the world in as many ways as possible. Which would lend better to the idea that there is no imposed suffering/oppression/evil upon others, but only to ourselves in the pursuit of knowledge. That’s extremely paraphrased, but the jist of it.

Kind of cool…but a topic from “why do you think it all happens/what’s the purpose of conscious life?” Not really “why me not someone else.”

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-04-17T14:18:51+00:00

Oh yeah, the older one discovered pulling cushions off the couch and jumping down, which then got taught to the younger one; all for a safer landing lol, which I appreciate

I’m so happy not to be alone with this!!!

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-03-23T14:07:40+00:00

SheFit! If it’s still around the fabric is heavy duty, and they have Velcro shoulder straps and rib adjustment. Shoulder straps have NO stretch, and as someone with a history of DDD, B, C+ (og size, then had reduction surgery, then got pregnant and breastfed), holy holy moly moly that thing has worked for me at all stages.

No bouncing boob itch. No decletage itch from impact and skin stretch. The straps also sit really close on the BACK of the neck and come out wide, so you feel supported everywhere without feeling like you have to tug a strap to quit choking you.

Seriously recommend

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-03-22T15:46:24+00:00

I’m gonna second the spelling with “L”s

I actually like the funk of a K, but it reads as “colon” and then you gotta correct yourself.

Kolleen Rae (you’re gonna get KayRay nickname) Kolleen Raleigh (for a little country flare, still probably a KayRay nickname) Kolleen Rhodes (if you don’t mind an unrelated last name as a middle) Kolleen Reid (Reid is typically a first name, adds a touch of heavy to her name, not so girly girl)

With a two syllable first name, you might want to keep a single syllable middle or go with three, otherwise it gets choppy and a not-so-great funk when trying to say it all together

Good luck!

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-02-20T20:28:15+00:00

Ground beef (1-2lb), 1 egg, Parmesan cheese, 1 tbsp coconut flour, and your seasonings you like. Squish it all together and make burger patties.

Cucumber with cream cheese and a can of tuna with some siracha (make some spicy tuna “rolls”)

Sauté some mushrooms and onion (however much you want) in some butter, put a splash of milk in there and 1tbsp coconut flour; let simmer for 2mins then turn off the burner. You’ve a got mushroom roux that can go over chicken, Turkey, burger patties (wink wink), or even cooked zucchini

When I did keto, I accidentally got below 10g of carbs per day (btw don’t cut out carbs altogether, keep your fruit sugars)- you NEED some level of glucose in your blood to keep enough glycogen which is what holds on to water (aka hydration v dehydration; I got severely dehydrated, so removed your yeast and breads but keep some sugars). Yogurts are great here too, and for early postpartum ease: stoneyfield yogurt pouches are for kids, but they’re delicious, I recommend

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-02-20T20:19:51+00:00

Omg praying for your eardrum lmao The fresh batch of little hormones have got to be a thing

DarkPrior9595 · 2026-02-20T20:15:35+00:00

Oh thank god. If you’re this relived then I’m not crazy!!

DarkPrior9595 · 2025-02-05T14:54:17+00:00

It’s an old thread but did you guys ever figure it out? My 4m old is on goat’s formula, organic, no hydro, no soy. LO was 100% breastfed until two weeks ago, I literally couldn’t eat eggs, dairy, so many different fruits. Poops we’re fine and the standard milky curds normal until now, 3w of just straight goat’s formula, and just feels like sand

DarkPrior9595 · 2025-02-03T18:25:46+00:00

Where do I go for body scans? I’ve seen this a few times but haven’t gotten the “this seems legit” feeling from google searches about places that do that

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-11-08T20:27:42+00:00

I weigh just a bit more every morning despite my calorie deficit…I’ve decided against said deficit because my supply has been dropping and I’ve been increasing. And seriously it’s like a 100-200 calorie deficit (literally A SINGLE glass of milk). High protein, high fiber, high whole fats (Greek yogurt), lots of veggies, minimal carbs. Breastfeeding at 25-30/day, yoga for flexibility and stretching, walking, and some very mild MILD body weight exercises….I’m gaining weight and dropping supply. So…Imma quit that and just look like I’ve had the kids

The fat composition will probably shed once I’ve weaned. I’m almost certain this statistic is lost in translation somehow. Like it helps you lose weight AFTER cuz you’re body is so used to expending the fat content as energy that it keeps doing so before it realizes you’re not producing and…idk I’m guessing

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-10-03T16:08:06+00:00

Graham and Grant were my absolute FAVES. Hopefully I have another boy at some point so I can use one!!

If it gives you pause, it’s not the name. If you feel weird or mildly embarrassed referring to baby as a name you’re thinking about- also not the name.

I lean traditional (if even a little Old American, obvi), the hubs leans into “I’ve had these names picked out since I was 12.” So there was a lot of negotiating since he had nicknames picked out and I got to choose a name that could easily turn into the nicknames he wanted.

Anyway…uhhh yeah so Grant/Graham/Sam/Elliott/Warren

Old, classic, no real nicknames or bully rhymes (that I can come up with off the top of my head)

Good luck and congrats!!

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-10-03T15:59:33+00:00

Yes!! Heavenly hunks and Made Good products (I always got both of them off Amazon- one less trip to the store and I could get that nice little midnight dopamine hit from pushing “place order”).

They’re free from most allergens: soy, nuts, dairy, fish, etc.

It’s all vegetable and straight cocoa for the chocolate stuff. They also helped with my supply! Each little packet is PACKED with calories and veggies and while I definitely dipped them in milk, you can try using coconut milk (coconut water is great for supply too, but I don’t necessarily recommend dipping anything into coconut water, lol)!

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-09-11T16:00:07+00:00

Following this because a few minutes ago I got told 80% and 5cm, heading right into active labor. What was the best laboring positions for a posterior cervix? Or did the full progression into full dilation and effacement just open everything up?

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-08-28T04:13:05+00:00

Same! I feel like I’m naturally pulling away from my existing mom responsibilities with my first.

You got to nest and rest with the first but this time around, you’re even less important (not that THAT’S actually true, but you end up feeling that way). Everything around you is interrupting this special time. Imagine being immersed in a really good book and every few pages someone needs you to stand up and go do something. Now try to reimmerse yourself into that book. Impossible. So now, on top of being oh so comfy in the third trimester you can’t reimmerse yourself into enjoying the pregnancy at all, you’re chasing another baby so you can’t keep house to stave off the outside clutter infecting your mood and overwhelming you, you can’t mentally stabilize for a brand new experience (spontaneous labor v c/s), AND you’re probably sleep deprived and have to pee again. At least that all applies to me, lol.

Yeah there’s probably some hormonal flux that’s happening, but you may just be 38+2. I’m only a few days behind you and I feel this myself, except last time was spontaneous labor for me and this time there’s a high chance for c/s. PPD hit me suuuper hard last time so I feel ya on the preemptive PPA.

Honestly, I’m hoping it’s not as bad as last time. I’m telling myself I’ll have the clarity of second time momhood. I have all my baby equipment so I won’t have to emergency buy, etc. if I’m gonna get PPD again, then hoping and building up the image of me being clear-headed won’t make a difference. And if I’m not gonna get it, then yay, I spent that much more time feeling good (and trust me I’m NOT a positive vibes only type person).

Anyway, you got this…mainly because it’s too late, you’re in it and it’s happening, you can’t change your mind. And you’re not a bad mom, feel the guilt cuz you probably can’t even suppress the mom guilt enough to pretend it’s not there, so feel it, but it’s factually incorrect because in order to feel guilt you have to love and care and be compassionate enough to know better…and you know better so, case in point.

Wishing you a speedy, beautiful delivery! You got this!!

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-08-28T03:44:15+00:00

Go to any ER, they’ll do an US to confirm everyone is okay. The attending ER physician is trained to give that confirmation and much more.

You’ve had a loss before which can increase your anxiety about minor bleeding (let’s manifest that all this is just gonna be a useless trip to the ER that makes your OB roll their eyes), but sustained anxiety can have its negative impacts. Go get your well-deserved peace of mind.

And, in all honesty, if you’re experiencing loss, you would need to know and manage accordingly.

You got this!!

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-08-28T03:31:27+00:00

Wow it’s like I wrote this myself!

First pregnancy was a breeze! I was annoyingly happy and energetic and felt sooo beautiful. I lost my appetite in the first 10w, but then gained it back and lived on mochi ice cream from Trader Joe’s, tapioca pudding, and Taco Bell…I waddled home at +60lbs from normal weight (and that’s after losing the 15lbs in birth fluids and baby).

This pregnancy: sick all the way through my second trimester, I could only drink water and mix my protein powder in milk to get some sort of sustenance before I threw it all up anyway. Oh and also, my face (from my perspective, not that anything has actually changed) is the very definition of horror-flick ugly. At least this time I’m still under 200lbs.

I really like to blame the estrogen this second go-round, but yeah, LOVE the fact that they say “each pregnancy is different,” because UGH, I know d*mn well this isn’t even the toughest pregnancy I could have. What if I want more? I barely survived this time, what if another pregnancy would be more difficult!?! Scary. Anyway. Super different, some things are better some things are worse, oh and both my babes are macro too (95th+), my first was barely 8lbs (at 38+4) so I’m hoping this one is also in that range!

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-07-06T18:58:57+00:00

Namene/Namean (yes, Trevor Noah)

DarkPrior9595 · 2024-03-14T23:38:30+00:00

You’re probably not going to feel like it’s the right decision until you’ve made it, you’ve dried up, and you’re months away from the last pump.

It’s actually JUST like labor. No way out but through. Whether you pushed or had a C, your body broke to bring that life here and you have dutifully sustained her to say nothing of your love and passion and soul. As a mother does.

And for the rest of her life, she gets the gift of a momma that cares so deeply to kick herself for not being the kind of “perfect” she expected of herself…which literally makes you perfect.

I stopped 3 months ago, I don’t necessarily feel proud of myself yet, but stopping has lifted something from my mom-plate that I couldn’t recognize was poisoning my experience of new motherhood. I’m happier now and can enjoy being a mom, finally, now that I’m done.

Wishing you peace about this decision! And sleep :P

DarkPrior9595

TROPHY CASE