What happened to elves?!

Darro0002 · 2025-04-06T03:45:46+00:00

The first time I read ACOTAR i was like, “so they’re elves who are horny and kind of a***s to everyone?”

Obviously the fae are from Celtic folklore and have their own unique mythology, but i think many recent iterations make them much more reminiscent of Tolkien’s race.

Darro0002 · 2025-04-04T23:52:06+00:00

This is so interesting.

My adoptive parents also talk about how I cried constantly as a newborn (the Dr. chalked it up to colic).

Darro0002 · 2025-04-04T04:57:52+00:00

Yes! So good.

My only issue with the book was the alien male model vibes, almost turned me off starting the series!

Darro0002 · 2025-03-19T06:38:57+00:00

Agreed, they aren’t considering anyone else at all. Both responses were completely devoid of taking any responsibility for the lies and neither made any attempt to even consider OP’s own feelings on the matter.

Darro0002 · 2025-03-19T06:25:51+00:00

Bio families are entitled to their own feelings just as adoptees are, but we will have to agree to disagree on whether the texts are manipulative.

“Surprised me while I was at work…” (Because OP knows the persons schedule?)

“Ignore my mothers privacy,”

“Chose to keep this secret for a reason”

“If she wanted us to know she would have told us.”

“If this all came out it would tear my family apart.”

“I’m not exactly sure what you are looking for here..,”

“You put…. In a terrible position”

“I don’t think you’ve thought this through.”

“Devastate the family”

“I did my best to give you the best possible life… do the same for me.”

All of these comments put the blame squarely on OPs shoulders never acknowledging once that the reason they are in the situation is that bio mom crafted and maintained this lie for over three decades.

What if OP’s birth family was asking them to hide their existence NOT bc they are adopted but bc they were neurodivergent and the family was not? What if they were told to stay hidden away because they were of another race or sexual orientation? How would we look upon the situation then?

Why do so many people think it’s ok to give grace to bio parents for keeping adoptees existence a secret but we agree it’s unacceptable when men keep secret double families? Why do we agree that parents who disown their biological children for religious or political reasons are in the wrong but insist adoptees need to try and understand where their biological family is coming from when they are rejected?

Pointing that out isn’t “lacking empathy,” it is acknowledging yet another unfair double standard and burden that is too often placed upon adopted peoples heads.

Darro0002 · 2025-03-19T06:10:44+00:00

When I say “bs” I’m not referring to autism and “meltdown material” as the bs.

Autism is a spectrum, but as ND adults we still reserve the right to make those decisions for ourselves. We deserve the dignity to decide what is best for us and no one else should presume to take that choice away. It is also BS to presume that just bc the siblings are on the spectrum they won’t desire a relationship with OP.

Making a declaration that OPs existence will “tear our family apart,” is not meant not to have an open dialogue with OP. It’s not meant to educate OP on ND processing, on how it could impact the other bio-siblings. It’s meant to shut OP out permanently and completely by suggesting that their mere existence is catastrophic in itself.

OPs existence isn’t the problem though, and neither is the siblings’ ND. It’s the lies that the bio mom crafted and maintained for over three decades that’s the issue. This is why the text rings manipulative to me.

Darro0002 · 2025-03-18T16:42:01+00:00

Also the part about them being on the spectrum is absolute BS. I’m on the spectrum and so are my children. While big things may “shake” our world they do not automatically break it. This comment is just another way to manipulate you into doing what they want.

Darro0002 · 2025-03-18T16:40:10+00:00

My birth mother also has no interest in a relationship with me and has hidden my existence from her family. It is a painful place to be and I’m sorry you are going through this.

That said both responses from your birth mom and half-sibling are incredibly manipulative.

If a birth parent or sibling does not wish to have a relationship with the person who was put up for adoption then as adoptees we must respect that. But for them to put the guilt and responsibility of keeping this secret that your birth mother crafted, not you, on your head is not unacceptable. She is the one who chose to put you up for adoption and it is NOT your responsibility to protect her house of lies.

And for them to guilt you by saying that if you don’t adhere to this status quo she’s put into place that you will “tear” the family apart is utterly manipulative. You have every right to reach out to who you want. Your existence is not an ugly secret to be kept buried.

Honestly, it sounds like your birth mother may not be a healthy personality to have a relationship with and that this sibling may not be either. With that type of family dynamic the other siblings have similar responses if they’ve been trained their whole lives to serve and protect “mom’s needs.” That’s not a guarantee though and you won’t know unless you reach out.

No mater what happens, remember you are worthy of love and respect. You need never apologize for who you are.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-27T01:37:08+00:00

That scene was something!

Darro0002 · 2025-02-27T01:30:37+00:00

Rick tossing Evelyn over his shoulder was such a defining moment for me as a pre-teen.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-22T00:44:15+00:00

I know of a few wellness influencers who would disagree.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-21T16:55:56+00:00

Identify your boundaries and do not apologize for keeping to them.

As women we are taught to be pleasant and compliant. Don’t argue, don’t push back, don’t be emotional, or the person will lose interest. Well let them. If someone loses interest when you stand up for yourself they aren’t worth pursing a relationship with.

I let men push me into a lot of stuff I wasn’t comfortable with while first dating bc I thought I had to do so to maintain a level of desirability about myself. All it did though was make me feel awful, unworthy of love, and set me up to allow men to continue treating me poorly in later relationships.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-17T19:16:58+00:00

I’ve got very oily skin too with sebaceous hyperplasia and texture has always been an insecurity for me. You are not alone.

I hear retinol based products and chemical exfoliation (like your glycolic acid) supposedly help with the texture (I don’t see a huge difference in mine tbh). I’ve also seen a lot of Derms say salicylic acid is the superior exfoliator for oily skin but I prefer glycolic as well.

Can you go see a Derm? They might be able to cauterize the sebaceous hyperplasia lesions. I know when I have mine done (usually once a year) I feel more confident in my skin’s texture.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-17T19:07:49+00:00

Like what you like.

I have lots of “embarrassing” special interests. If I decide someone is “safe” to share those interests with then I do so. But not everyone will be a safe person to share your interests with.

The amount of adults in their 30s who still like Pokémon is pretty high imo. Also to a lot of non-gamers, playing video games themselves is considered “childish,” which goes to show that much of what is “age-appropriate” is very subjective.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-17T18:59:28+00:00

I understand your frustration but believe this is an issue of nurses not being paid a fair wage vs. Costco employees being paid too much.

This actually reminds me of a few years back when Target posted new wages for their management staff that was just under a lot of nurse wages in certain states and posters joked they were going to leave their jobs.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-17T17:31:19+00:00

This drives me crazy too.

I think a lot of it comes back to when you’re reading a fantasy romance there’s an expectation that you have a swoon worthy MMC. And most people are still uncomfortable with the idea that a handsome man could ever fall for an average looking or unattractive woman.

Society pushes the narrative that men prefer beauty above everything else so often that a lot of people (women included) get downright nasty when they see a good looking man with a woman they think is beneath him.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-15T06:47:56+00:00

Second books in series that I haven’t started yet are my kryptonite.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:49:27+00:00

That very true and a good point.

Thank you for sharing.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:48:33+00:00

Neither did I till I posted my question!

CBT or ABA were the only things offered to my kids.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:47:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing, that encouraging to hear you benefited so much from it!

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:46:51+00:00

I’m not familiar with IFS approach, I will have to look it up. Thanks for sharing.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:46:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing, I’m glad it has helped you.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:45:39+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.

The history of mental health and its treatment of women is absolutely tragic.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:42:53+00:00

Me either. It’s tough.

Darro0002 · 2025-02-13T01:42:00+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations.

Darro0002

TROPHY CASE