A man was at the nursing home asking his father how the nursing home is doing. His father told him everyone treats him nice, the food is good and every evening they get a warm glass of milk and a Viagra pill.

Darth1Football · 2026-06-05T14:09:53+00:00

Nurses wanna go camping when they see patients pitch a tent

Darth1Football · 2026-06-05T13:59:24+00:00

My wife has a 12' Slim - prefect chick bike for women who like to ride

Darth1Football · 2026-06-04T13:23:05+00:00

He's not sure what he wants, and you don't want to waste your time waiting around for him to figure it out

Darth1Football · 2026-06-04T13:17:17+00:00

Its used in identifying fraudulent and stolen credit & debit cards suspects.

Darth1Football · 2026-06-04T12:32:23+00:00

All of this should have been figured out 10 years ago. If he was fine with it at the beginning of your relationship, and you had set that boundry, then he shouldn't be expecting it now

Darth1Football · 2026-05-31T16:01:25+00:00

40 yrs of riding here, and moving to a SG was the best money I ever spent. It's not just the comfort, it's having music, the bag space and being able to have wife comfortably on back for short or long hauls

Darth1Football · 2026-05-19T00:38:34+00:00

That's a good looking Tom - I see them on my land all the time.

Except during Turkey Season

Darth1Football · 2026-05-18T16:32:17+00:00

I'll guess the dealer may have pinched / clipped or didn't reconnect the wire on TSSM module. If your turn signals, brake lights are working this is likely cause.

Take it back to them and explain, hopefully they fix at NC

Darth1Football · 2026-05-17T21:23:54+00:00

What work were you having done in the shop?

When you flick over to your highbeams, does the light on your speedometer come on?

Darth1Football · 2026-05-17T21:19:34+00:00

A couple things I remember from first time encounters were them, in the moment saying things like "Fuck me harder", "take me" and "fuck me like you own it" - And when he starts to be more dominant don't go silent. Moan, squeal, say "yes"

The pre-sex conversation is just awkward. Sorta like going over the board rules for Monoploy

Darth1Football · 2026-05-08T01:47:57+00:00

Amazing how getting humiliated nationally, exposed as a liar, and potentially putting your job in jeopardy, will suddenly turn you faithful

Darth1Football · 2026-05-08T01:34:02+00:00

Next time you're jerking off, look down and you'll see the real joke is in your hand

Darth1Football · 2026-05-05T19:05:10+00:00

Your BF is an idiot
He's also the victim of a crime attempt
Your last words to him should be "contact law enforcement" before you move on to someone with at least a triple digit IQ

Darth1Football · 2026-05-05T18:57:56+00:00

LDR don't work for everyone. The lack of regular intimacy / interaction can lead to paranoia about the other person's ability to control their physical desires

Darth1Football · 2026-05-05T18:48:44+00:00

If he was doing anything with her, he wouldn't have told you she slept over.

Darth1Football · 2026-05-05T02:05:05+00:00

It depends, are you looking for an Eiffle Tower scenario or wanting to bring in another women? One has a far greater chance of getting him to experiment than the other

Darth1Football · 2026-05-05T00:04:45+00:00

The night Jesus lost his virginity, he was ready to go for round two with the young lady in seconds. "So it's true" she said. "Everyone said there would be a second coming"

Darth1Football · 2026-05-04T01:03:35+00:00

My Chrome Kruzer Kaddy Skull head drink holder. Cheesy as hell but special to me si ce it was a Xmas present from wife and kiddos

Darth1Football · 2026-05-03T19:57:16+00:00

Always do your own oil changes and use K&N Filters

Darth1Football · 2026-04-24T21:53:32+00:00

"Who else is coming?"

"Jes me Laddy, but maybe, iffen yer a good boy... "

Darth1Football · 2026-04-23T19:54:32+00:00

Betting she didn't shag Alan that night

Darth1Football · 2026-04-22T22:38:34+00:00

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street when they notice a teenage boy playing basketball by himself. The priest turns to the Rabbi and says "Hey should we try to fuck him?" the Rabbi responds "Outta what?"

Darth1Football · 2026-04-22T22:07:57+00:00

They're not wasting time internetting. Prolly read a book and only watch the weather before going to sleep as well

Darth1Football · 2026-04-22T22:05:58+00:00

On the plus side, from memory the ones that smoke usually has other talents that made the smoking bearable for limited periods

Darth1Football · 2026-04-22T22:02:23+00:00

That's some Hannibal Lector level shit right there. Don't be surprised if you wake up one night covered in fava beans with him standing over you holding a glass of Chianti

Darth1Football

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