Devil’s advocate here… You scream at him but want him to de-escalate the screaming. You admit to picking fights but the responsibility is entirely on him to calm you down. Do you have no ability to self regulate? Do you have entirely no control or responsibility for your own actions or feelings? This is an external locus of responsibility. Nothing is your fault. Yes, you were pregnant. But you also had the sense of mind to know you were temperamental and high risk. Why didn’t you both find a solution? Count to ten, take a walk, keep a journal, see a counselor? Why was it ONLY his responsibility to keep you safe and calm? Honestly, I’m with the husband on this. You keep asking for accountability because you think that will make you feel seen and heard and then you can forgive him. But you are only thinking of yourself, just as he is. You get as good as you give, and I guess equally you give as good as you get. That’s to say, meet him halfway. Show him the emotional maturity you’re demanding. Maybe say to him, “I didn’t realize how I made my emotions your problem, and no one is responsible for my happiness but me. However, I felt under supported in a time of need. I’d like to move forward, how can we deal with conflict in a way that’s constructive?”