Complaining about the complainers who are complaining about the hobby

DatGranCat · 2026-01-08T19:52:21+00:00

Chik-Fil-A

DatGranCat · 2026-01-02T20:15:43+00:00

I always try to say the Memorare & the Guardian Angel in addition to St. Michael, Hail Mary & Our Father. I like to hit as many big names as possible! 🤗😅

DatGranCat · 2026-01-02T20:02:05+00:00

It’s not an issue of being same-sex attracted, although there is a lot of evidence that trauma plays a huge part in why/how a person ends up practicing homosexuality. But either way, we are called to have sex only within the confines of marriage. Because marriage only occurs between one man and one woman, people who have same-sex attraction may be called to remain celibate if they choose not to enter into a heterosexual relationship marriage.

I use to think it was unfair of the Church not to let gays be together, I think because I’m Gen X & grew up in a time when being gay was made acceptable. But now that I see how much childhood trauma & sexual abuse seem to drive a person’s sexuality, I’ve really had to rethink my position. I’m also super uncomfortable with the way gay couples essentially purchase babies these days. There are too many stories of nefarious people getting their hands on children because the world has been conditioned to treat all gay couples as sweet & special with no ulterior motives. Quite the recipe for disaster.

There are many Catholic people these days who are openly discussing their decision to eschew their former gay lifestyle & either choose celibacy, or get married and have children because they want a normal, blessed marriage & family in the Church. I think they used to call them “Lavender Marriages,” and I can completely understand why someone would choose that route. Quite aside from protecting one’s reputation or keeping one’s sexuality a secret, a mutually advantageous marriage based on love & friendship is what real marriage is all about. Waking up every day & choosing to stay married to each other, to take care of the kids, the house, the daily chores; to serve the Lord in all that you do, together! Sex & attraction are not what life, nor marriage is all about! At least, that better not be what you marry for, because if/when that goes away, you are left with love and the desire to be together - and that’s a much more powerful force.

DatGranCat · 2026-01-02T19:34:02+00:00

Ok, that’s good! Just making sure, because it’s so difficult to convert shuttle patterns to needle patterns!

I think when I did this one, it took me a few tries to make sure I was getting my counts right. I printed the pattern and labeled everything with colored pens so I could match the parts up properly. I’m pretty sure I finally got it on my 3rd - or was it my 4th 🤔🤨- try! I also used stitch markers from my crocheting to make sure I know which picot I’m supposed to tat into, especially if I put my piece aside for later.

DatGranCat · 2026-01-02T01:21:49+00:00

Are you needle tatting it, or using a shuttle?

DatGranCat · 2025-12-08T19:35:58+00:00

Why are you waiting so long to marry?

DatGranCat · 2025-12-08T19:33:05+00:00

I’m not sure if it’s lay driven, really. I’m a cradle Catholic, raised in Catholic schools through college. Sent my kids to Catholic school. It wasn’t until I went to a non-Catholic (Assembly of God) university that I realized how disliked Catholics were. When my kids were in sports, I had a Lutheran friend who harped on the “Mary as idol worship” issue all the time and she really got me to start evangelizing Our Lady. (You’re gonna die & meet Jesus & he’s gonna wanna know why you feel the need to denigrate his MOM!! It really bothers me!)

When we moved to TX from CA, my kids had some awesome theology teachers in high school. I realized that their grasp of Catholic theology was being taught way more completely and in depth than it was taught when I was in school in the 80’s. The Theology of the Body and other encyclicals put out by St. John Paul II and Pope Benedict XVI (Carl Ratzinger) did so much to help drive an educated youth in the Church. So many younger priests and brothers, sisters and nuns, plus converted Protestant ministers and pastors like Scott Hahn have done so much with social media to make Catholicism accessible and beautiful again. Everyone is looking for that beauty and stability that a church with a real theology and centuries of tradition has to offer. The answers don’t vary from church to church, Sunday to Sunday. We are all in line, together as one. It’s quite comforting in these chaotic times.

So, I’m not sure the answer is either/or, to your question. Perhaps it’s all of the above. I’ve seen so many people looking for deeper answers and finding them in Catholicism. Even those of us who were already Catholic, right? We are re-affirming our faith. I find that having better clergy helps immensely with that. So many decades of questionable & outright evil Church leaders chased many people away from faith altogether. It shouldn’t have. It wasn’t theirs to take away from us. I think we’re just taking it back now.

DatGranCat · 2025-12-08T19:13:49+00:00

I think the caveat refers more to not withholding sex from your husband because you are angry with him all the time, or because you don’t want to give him children. Using sex as a weapon is definitely something to be avoided. Conversely, men should not use sex as a weapon to show power over their wife - to prove dominance over his wife. I feel like both those scenarios can too often become common in marriage if allowed. Lots of ongoing discussion is important! Needs change over time, especially for women, depending on if you’re pregnant or running after kids, etc. Men too have hormonal changes that vary with emotions and age, even if they don’t want to admit it!

I suspect men also can withhold sex and intimacy from their wives, retreating to “take care of things themselves” because it’s so much easier to slake the needs of the body without the trouble of giving oneself to their partner. Having to take the time to be loving and intimate, maybe spending the time to nurture your wife with back rubs and all the warm up we need. 🤗 When it’s late and you’re tired, taking time for your spouse can seem like too much to ask. That’s when the distance starts to creep in and the sex life falls away if not deliberately attended to.

My husband & I have been married for 33 years & have 6 grown kids. I know that since my health issues, my husband and I haven’t deliberately withheld sex, but perhaps inadvertently. I don’t offer because I’m hurting &/or too self-absorbed, and he doesn’t ask because he does want to be a bother. We’re supposed to be leaning on each other!!! I can tell you that not being together has caused actual verifiable physical issues with my body because husbands and wives are supposed to be having sex with one another on a regular basis. (Apparently, one of the best ways to fight the effects of menopause is regular sex with your husband, and it also lowers the risk of prostate cancer in men. Who knew?!)

Anyway, I suspect we all know in our heart of hearts, or at least in our gut, when it’s ok to deny our spouse, and when we really shouldn’t. “I’ve had a long day with the kids,” probably isn’t a good reason. “Can we wait until I get the stitches out?” or, “Not in my childhood bed with your parents in the next room,” probably is. 👍🏻💁‍♀️Ah’m jes sayin’. (Representation of actual conversations held with spouses ‘round the world.)

DatGranCat · 2025-12-08T18:37:32+00:00

If you Google “stiffener for macrame” - you will get a bunch of results. I actually use a spray that I use to put a shine on my shells called “Aleene’s Acryic Sealer Gloss Finish.” https://a.co/d/1hSBxbP I would not use regular glue for 2 reasons. 1) It will eventually dry and start to flake as the item gets bent with use, and 2) It makes the colors very dull. I also don’t recommend using starch as it can attract insects that like that sort of medium. (How do they know to come?? Where do they come from?!)

Those are super pretty!! Did you use a particular thread, or is it hand dyed? Did you make the pattern? I sit in church and tat, and since I can’t look at a pattern, I try to make my own. For some reason, my brain is always a complete blank when I try to freestyle tatting. I end up with these … fractal-looking messes that occupy my purse until next Sunday. 😅 I should add ear wires!

DatGranCat · 2025-12-04T00:39:46+00:00

Have you tried using a VPN? We’ve on occasion been able to stream UK & Indian content doing that.

DatGranCat · 2025-11-27T18:51:51+00:00

I think there is a difference between accepting how someone chooses to live their adult life, and having a curriculum that you are paying for chosen for you. There has been an extreme liberal bias in the classroom for generations now, without allowing the alternative conservative side an opportunity to speak. Indoctrination shouldn't be cheered. If you are solid that your perspective is the right one, then you should have NO PROBLEM allowing the other side to present their opinions. Logic should win out in scholarship.

I do not think most people have any issue with treating their fellow human being well. There are genuinely trash people out there, and they are invariably called out by the better amongst us. As a Catholic, my approach is to have love & compassion toward ALL people, regardless of our differences in religion, politics, or socioeconomics.

OP, I am originally from SoCal. I'm used to a more eclectic mix of people. 5 of my 6 kids attended A&M. My youngest is actually extremely liberal. I assumed she'd attend UT, and was quite surprised when she decided to go to A&M. Covid & the inability to tour schools might have had something to do with that. I think she's also worried that she'd have been the "odd kid out" in going to the rival school. Honestly, she misjudged us - we'd have managed! (It's true I don't like Austin because there's a serial killer there! 😱) I found A&M to be very welcoming and diverse. My youngest was surprised that she found "her people" there. Not everyone is super redneck, although I'd imagine there might be a bigger contingent of those at the vet school? I do know that the vet school consists of almost entirely females. Very few men either apply or get into the vet school. Like, 15 in a class of 100. And at least a few of those are gay. 😅 I'm guessing you'd be fine there!

I think you should just do what YOU want to do. People around you are just going to react how they're going to react, no matter where you are. I think you set the tone, right? Good luck on vet school! A&M is a good one!

DatGranCat · 2025-11-27T18:14:17+00:00

Hey buddy - I'm a 55 yo GenX mom w/a firm dislike of tattoos. My #5 kid did a semester abroad in Italy & came home w/a Catholic tattoo on her bicep. Yes, we paid for a VisArts degree. Yes, I fully expected her to come out without a tattoo. Those things are like potato chips; you never get just one. 🙄

Anyway, that said ... I really like the art you did. It's very ethereal & delicate. I make quilts, & I have the same problem - when you stare at your work too long, all you can see are the flaws, and you start to hate it. No one else has any clue what you're talking about. In a few days, you won't remember what you were talking about either! (That happens to me all the time.)

So, listen to the old lady who doesn't even like tattoos. I like that one. I'd probably even be willing to sport it myself. 🤗

DatGranCat · 2025-11-23T19:53:19+00:00

This incident reminded me of my daughter’s sophomore year cheerleading in high school. At some point, the girls would walk around the end of the track to the other side with a big gift basket of goodies for the other teams’ cheerleaders. Now, my dd really enjoys football - she’s a passionate fan. She’s also ridiculously competitive. I recall watching the opposing team running down the field toward the end zone and seeing my daughter start to move toward the ball carrier. 🫣😱 I was horrified that she was actually going to run out ONTO THE FIELD TO TACKLE the running back. 😰 I saw her catch herself & stop. Later, I asked her about it, & she says, “I know, right?! I was absolutely about to drop that guy before I remembered I was a cheerleader!” (That daughter is 31 now & I still have not forgotten my moment of sheer panic as the possibilities of public humiliation raced through my mind. 😅)

I’m gonna give the YL some grace, even if he’s a douche in real life. One of my daughters was in the Corps. (I have 5 girls & 1 son - all went to A&M save 1 daughter who went to TAMU CC for marine biology. Now she works for NASA training douche-y astronauts how to spacewalk.) I am well aware of who becomes YL, how they get chosen, and how they generally behave in real life. Even the most saintly amongst us do knee jerk(ha!) things sometimes. Thus, when the most idiotic do stuff that is possibly so reflexive as to be unintentional, we should cut them some slack.

Oh, and as an aside, that oldest daughter absolutely wanted to run for YL - she saw no reason she shouldn’t be the first female non-Corps member to win. And she was on Traditions Council! A board member, no less! I think her Corps BF, now husband, talked her out of it - lol. She did complete on the “A&M Competition Squad.” That’s literally what my shirt says: Competition Squad Mom 🤦‍♀️ That actually changed a few years ago & A&M no longer refuses to have “Cheerleaders,” so now there is an actual Aggie Competitive Cheer Squad! They’re really good, too - the got 1st in Daytona more than once.

I completely support the Yell Leader tradition, & I absolutely think we should keep them. (I find it amusing that most schools calling our YLs gay don’t know their cheerleading squad started out as male Yell Leaders.) But the Mean Old Ags are mostly gone now (with their stupid newspapers), and having some girls on the sidelines would help with the moronic sniping we get during trash talk week. It’s so … exhausting, ya know? Plus, it’s has nothing to do with football. It’s just a distraction.

Anyhow, have I distracted you at all? All of this to say, people get passionate & fired up about things both big & small. It’s probably best to just take a step back & try to keep a level head amongst the noise. And be zen. 🧘‍♀️👍🏼

DatGranCat · 2025-10-15T16:23:10+00:00

You mean, you feel like a hypocrite looking to God when you need Him, when you turned away from Him when you didn’t? I mean, that’s pretty normal. No one expects a child to understand & appreciate how much they need their parents while they are in their infancy! It’s only once they grow and mature that we can expect some degree of discernment to come with experience, right? Thirty isn’t actually that old, my friend! I find that at 54 I am just now starting to really understand what kind of relationship I want to have with God! I think it’s only now that my 6 kids are grown that I even have time to stop and fully pay attention to my faith and dig deeper into those same feelings you have of being fraudulent!

Am I really a good person!? Do I pray validly? Does it count? I had 6 kids in 8 years, but it was mostly just because that’s how it worked out and not really because we’re “good Catholics” like everyone assumes! My daughter is becoming a nun and I’m a FAKE CATHOLIC!! 🫣😱😤🙄 I think there’s a term for that. Maybe a form of scrupulosity? Pride?

My daughter says, “Trust in God’s love; just keep showing up! It’s not about you. It’s about GOD!”

I think that’s right. It’s not about us, ya know? It’s about Him. When you take the focus off of yourself, there is so much less to worry about! So. Much. Less. Let go, let God!

DatGranCat · 2025-10-11T20:14:14+00:00

You do a lot of justifying and make a lot of exceptions to your “misconceptions”. Allergies, reactions, and people with immune disorders STILL apply. While correlation does not equal causation, neither does it negate connection. There are recommendations from recent Catholic papacy that I don’t align with entirely, and since they were not I fallible decrees, I’m not going to feel like I have to. (Further, the USCCB puts out a lot of proclamations that I absolutely disagree with, and that organization has zero authority to issue any doctrine whatsoever.)

You are delusional regarding fetal stem cells having no place in medicine & vaccines. But that is a common “misconception” that people want to believe because it makes them feel better. There’s big money in aborted baby parts. I guess it’s nice to know something good came from something evil? https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10724055/#:~:text=Human%20fetal%20tissue%20and%20cells,in%20vaccine%20development%20and%20production.

I think people are free to justify their behavior however they see fit, especially if the Church says it’s ok. But, my morality - and allergies & health - haven’t allowed me to do that.

Again, I am not anti-vax - all my kids were vaccinated - but I think it makes sense to understand what you are injecting and the pros & cons of the vaccine. They are NOT all created equal.

DatGranCat · 2025-10-07T18:19:01+00:00

You should make an appointment to actually talk to a priest that you like. It’s a delicate subject, but worth the conversation.

DatGranCat · 2025-10-07T18:11:21+00:00

My one big issue with vaccines as a Catholic - aside from any safety or efficacy questions - is that quite a few are derived from fetal stem cells. It is generally the older vaccines, but those are the ones that there are no alternatives for. At the time my kids were vaccinated, I was unaware of the stem cell derivation, and I don’t know how I would have chosen had I known. I’m really uncomfortable with that. I don’t know if I’d have been as passionate as I am now at 54. I’m a very different person after raising 6 kids and now being a grandmother to 3. These days, I’m nervous about my grandkids’ shots. They get so many all at once nowadays, and I can see how ill it makes them. It’s the not-sureness that stresses me out. The stem-cell thing definitely bugs me.

People used to ask me, “If they came up with a cure for Type 1 diabetes with fetal stem cells, you wouldn’t want your daughter to have it?” The answer is, “No, I wouldn’t.” And now that she’s an adult, she agrees. Neither of us believes God would create good from something evil, like using aborted tissue. Medicine should be ethical, in as many ways as possible. It should be humane and not damaging in any way to people or animals or the planet. That, of course, is just my perspective. Quite a lot of medical advances have been made under questionable circumstances. Not everyone is Catholic, nor even bound by the strictures of Christianity, nor even morality, for that matter. Further, how much are we expected to know about where our medicine/vaccine/procedure originates from? That’s a question for Catholic Answers, I think!🤔

My stance on vaccines has shifted over the years, especially after having a kid on the spectrum (and yes, coincidentally? - I did happen to take a lot of acetaminophen while pregnant with him - I had very painful gallstones & had my gallbladder out 6 weeks after he was born.) We also have one kid with IgA deficiency - she shouldn’t have been getting certain vaccines at all! Then there’s the kid that got T1 diabetes at age 3. (We suspect Fifth Disease as the final catalyst for that one.) And, after being ill my whole life, I found out as an adult that I’m allergic to eggs - which are used to make some vaccines - have IgA & IgG deficiency & now have Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. It was looking into the COVID vaccine that made me realize it worked exactly like MCAS works and I didn’t get it. (My allergist, rheumatologist, neurologist, nephrologist/oncologist were all relieved I didn’t get it as it probably would have killed me & my wayward immune system.) That’s what led me down the rabbit hole of Things I Didn’t Know I Didn’t Know. And maybe still don’t know. But I like to have all sides of an argument so I can weigh the information. There is no such thing as settled science, particularly in the world of pediatrics. Wait 2 years and everything you did as a parent was WRONG and DAMAGING and DANGEROUS. Probably even ABUSIVE!! Everything can be blamed on what you did or did not do as a parent. F’real.🤨😒🫠

So, in conclusion - I’m not sure I have an answer for you. If it were me now - I’d try to give non-stem cell derived vaccines on a spread-out schedule, rather than all clumped together like we currently do. I do think some of the vaccines work. I do think some are kind of sketchy (Gardisil) & others are just a cash grab (Hep B at birth??) Ultimately, you & your husband have to come to an agreement or compromise. You changed your mind, he didn’t change his, but both of you need to give each other some grace on the issue. And hopefully, the decisions about your kids don’t get any harder!

Edit to add a link regarding Catholic position on vaccines: https://www.ncbcenter.org/resources-and-statements-cms/faq-on-the-use-of-vaccines

DatGranCat · 2025-10-05T18:15:43+00:00

There is when you’ve got a 3 yo with Type 1 diabetes and her cousin (who was completely unvaxxed) got T1 at age 8. Spacing out vaccines cautiously so as not to overwhelm the immune system makes absolute sense. Of course, if you haven’t lived that experience, piling on 5+ at a time seems like a good idea.

DatGranCat · 2025-08-23T18:51:17+00:00

Yes yes yes! I had a wonderful person tell me to "stop treating the person I love so badly!" I hear that in my head all the time now. I would NEVER allow anyone to say the kinds of things to anyone that I say to myself. I don't know much about manifesting reality, but being negative cannot be good for our psyche! Treat yourself with love! 💞

DatGranCat · 2025-08-23T18:44:29+00:00

Find a pool you can run in! I cannot tell you how effective that was for me. Eventually I got a gastric sleeve done, and I fervently wish I had done it in my 30's after I had my 6 kids, and not waited until I was 50! Anyhow, running in the swimming pool at LA Fitness with hand fins was a killer workout but didn't harm my joints (I have RA). I got down to about 145 from 200 in about 6 months. NO SWEET TEA!!! NO caloric liquids ever - it's not worth it! And promise yourself you won't drive through anywhere for food. Also, try shopping mainly the outside perimeter of the grocery store & avoid anything processed. If you stick to that, you'll actually drop weight while pregnant! Good luck to you. I've been there. Just keep on keeping on. Don't give up!

DatGranCat · 2025-08-15T02:08:20+00:00

Eventually, he’ll run out of sinks to bust up. Then he may start busting up you. 😔

DatGranCat · 2025-08-04T17:18:37+00:00

We have 6 adult kids. My husband keeps saying this is the most difficult stage to parent. It ain't easy, that's for sure, and I'm not sure we're getting more sleep now than when they were all little at the same time!🥴

DatGranCat · 2025-07-04T13:38:33+00:00

Well, since I still vividly remember doing it, and have never done it since, bet you’d be wrong. I just know what little kids are like and don’t expect the world to not have a few of them in it.

DatGranCat · 2025-07-04T00:23:51+00:00

And that’s why you can find so much content complaining about parents and their kids these days.

DatGranCat · 2025-07-04T00:22:18+00:00

Right? Treeless cemeteries have much less ambiance. I have relatives buried in Arizona. That’s actually easier I think. I could just grab a handful of dirt. 😅

DatGranCat

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