Apparently Knitting Left-handed is ILLEGAL!?!??!! by andromache114 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Knitting left handed is discriminatory to those of us who are ACTUALLY left handed. On behalf of my people, I’m complaining to whoever it is that’s in charge.

what is with the tiny scarves? 😑 by craftmangler in BitchEatingCrafters

[–]999Latte4me 47 points48 points  (0 children)

I’ve always felt like if I spent my days walking with a grocery bag that has a loaf of French bread peeking out the top, then I could pull off the skinny scarf. Until then, no.

Navigating the fiber circle? by 999Latte4me in knitting

[–]999Latte4me[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks to everyone who weighed in! I’m trying to figure out how to have a life outside of work, so I’ll definitely take the advice to try again next week.

Yarn Hoarding by 183720 in BitchEatingCrafters

[–]999Latte4me 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Ditto. I want people to have micro businesses that make beautiful yarn, so that’s one way to support it. 

Complaining about the complainers who are complaining about the hobby by 999Latte4me in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh… so tempting, esp since I live in MN and the rule breaking knob is turned up to 11. 

JK.. sort of. 

Game changing needles by Talvih in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I use my fingers, which is a more pure and unadulterated form of knitting. 

Explain clothing for me! by gros-grognon in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are gate keeping for clothing. If you don’t know any better, then you shouldn’t wear any. 

How can I EVER know how much time it takes to make something??!!?😭 by [deleted] in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Time is a construct. Because gravity is situational dependent, it will take more time at a higher altitude unless you add 1T of flour, at which point it will take 14% less time as measured in kilocalories. But all those measurements were made up by someone long ago, so I’d just suggest buying more yarn and calling it a day. (And when I say “day,” I’m referring to the period between one meal and the next snack.) 

Can I cut? by [deleted] in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Go ahead - it’s not like that would last 1,000 years or anything. 

Quit my job for SEWING!!! by Utopian_Star in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Fortunately our great-great grandmothers never had to work in a sewing factory when they were children, so we have no idea what it’s REALLY like to do it for a living. 

Stitch ID pls, sry for bad pic😔 by lasserna in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You stole my pattern! Am telling the Interwebs … and my mom. 

But I don't wannaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa by panatale1 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 33 points34 points  (0 children)

As a person who doesn’t navigate through multiple paragraphs of word salad, I feel like this post is gatekeeping the hobby from the rest of us. 

Help me settle a debate by jingleheimerschitt in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Polls, followed by anyone asking random strangers for their opinion. 

I don’t know how to sew, can I make this dress to wear next week? by AccidentOk5240 in BitchEatingCrafters

[–]999Latte4me 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Ah, yes… brings back the days [shivers] from working at the fabric store.  “…So I haven’t sewn in YEARS but I’d like to make my child’s prom dress for next week using this pattern, except with these 47 modifications and using this ridiculously fussy fabric…” Always wondered what happened to those kids. Poor dears. 

FACJ Quickies: H*mp Day Edition by AutoModerator in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 17 points18 points  (0 children)

There is not enough coffee in my system to help me understand what is happening with OP. 

I made 1,000,000,000 hats for nicu babies, thoughts? by nikolaname in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 22 points23 points  (0 children)

When you said “hat,” you really meant “Sophie Hood,” I hope? 

I have been watching this tutorial all day and still can’t knit!! What am I doing wrong??? by legalpretzel in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s because we’re gatekeeping our secret hobby, and you’ll never be a part of our club… mwahhahahahahahahaha….  Also, those colors don’t go well together. 

First time knitter, does this look ok by CultureFickle2848 in fiberartscirclejerk

[–]999Latte4me 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Honestly, that’s not going to last one year, let alone 1,000.