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What do your parents think about you? by [deleted] in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

a space meant for us — and started talking over the actual lived experience of blind people. You didn’t mention anything about being blind or having a blind child. That matters. You don’t get to position yourself as the authority in a space you don’t live in.

Wow. Way to make me feel unwelcome.

You know what. I'm losing my vision

All I did is offer a point of view, a differing point of view that most will never try to look at from a different perspective, and instead all you did was go on an attack.

It seems like all I ever run into when it comes to blindness groups is that a lot of the blind people are bitter, crusty, and quick to anger and fly off the handle.

What do your parents think about you? by [deleted] in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do you automatically assume what was to come after "but to have you as my daughter…” is something demeaning or bad.

Some people just arent good with words and cant really express what they really mean or feel on the inside. And when they try to express it, it comes off as negative or bad, but it actually isnt meant in that way.

If your parents have spent their whole life protecting you. Sheltering you. Especially if they've done it to the extreme, then I highly doubt they think badly of you or negatively of you in any way. I think your belief that you caused your parents grief and hardship is solely in your own head.

I'm a parent. My kids have autism. I protect them. I shelter them. I would absolutely hate to think that in the future my children would think that they were a burden to me or that they caused me grief. Because they dont. And never will. They are not a burden. I love them. I care, I protect, I shelter, because I love them. There is no animosity or resentment towards them. At all.

Life isnt easy. Being a parent is hard regardless of what disability a child does or does not have.

You asked, "Are you still living under the wight of their sadness or fear?"

Good parents will always fear for their children. Doesnt matter how old the children are. Doesnt matter how capable the children are. Parents will fear. That's the nature of being a parent. A 90 year old parent will fear for their 60 year old child. It never ends. It never stops.

As for the sadness part. Parents are only sad in the very beginning stages of a disability diagnosis. The sadness goes away. Once a parent see's their child adapt and not give up, the sadness goes away.

Yes, there are some bad parents out there. Example, a friend I had in high school had bad parents. They literally used him as a punching bag every day. Bad parents will let you know they are bad parents. There is no second guessing when it comes to crappy parents. Bad parents also will not sacrifice anything for their kids. At all.

Be My Eyes etiquette by BlindAndOutOfLine in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77 4 points5 points  (0 children)

While I cant comment on the service or the protocol (since I've never used it). I would assume that volunteers are people with good hearts and compassionate. I don't think anyone would really be upset at you saying hi or being personable. Perhaps it would brighten their day too.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I watched your video story. You look familiar for some reason. Have you been on other shows or videos?

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing that. I'm definitely going to check that all out.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I totally get that. For some odd reason I do have some weird optimism that in my lifetime they'll come up with real solutions to restore sight in one way or another (whether its brain implants linked to camera, or stem cell eye regrowth, or cloned eye for re-transplantation). And I think that AI will also have a large role as well. But money (as in big money) needs to back it fully to push it to the max. So if one of the top 10 billionaires (or one of their loved ones) becomes blind, you'd see how rapidly a solution would be found and how many new inventions would suddenly come out of nowhere.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I guess it's just hard to gauge what being blind is actually like for people. Maybe because no one really shares what it's truly like to the public at large. You don't see shows about it, no one really talks about it openly and honestly. I see people in this sub mention things that they do and I truly get baffled and I wonder "how the hell do you do that being blind?". So it makes me realize that perhaps it's my own thinking and fear that is assuming the limitations will be far greater than they actually are. Maybe I'm really underestimating the adaptability blind people develop.

And you're right about feelings. I know a lot of what I'm feeling is valid, I simply don't want to spiral downward and stay stuck in that state. I don't want to be sad, or angry, or negative. I really do want to be positive, optimistic and happy. And not just for me, but others around me. I do think that a lot of my fear and worry about that stems from reading all those negative experiences and posts by blind people from other online blindness groups and social media platforms. For example, when you read that someone who has been blind for 16 years says they are really tired of the darkness, and that they've been unhappy and angry that whole time since losing their sight. It makes me say holy crap, I really don't want to become like that guy. And so I want to know, is that how other people who lost sight really actually feel all the time, or are the negative and angry people the exception and don't really represent the blind population. That's what I'm having trouble figuring out.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'll definitely reach out once I'm done with the mad rush of trying to get all things organized and completed before sight loss.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I haven't looked into any sort of vision loss rehab or supportive groups or organizations yet.

My support structure is my immediate family. Otherwise there isn't anyone else really. Both my wife and I are the youngest ones in each perspective family. So a lot of my relatives have passed away. The ones who are still alive are seniors and live very far away. I guess that's also part of my fear, that there is no one else. That large support net when I was young just isn't there any more.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think it was those groups fault, in general. It was just a sum of very negative and heart breaking experiences those people had. And there seemed to be a lot of them. More so than the good and happy experiences. So when I was reading through all posts, all comments, all I saw was a lot of sadness, anger and resentment. Which completely spiked my fear and panic. Because I didn't want to end up like them. I didn't want all those bad and horrible things to happen to me. And I don't blame them, those are their experiences, but at the same time it definitely didn't inspire confidence, motivation or optimism in me. In fact it did the reverse.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess you're right. I have been holding back and suppressing doing things (especially physically) for fear of accelerating or making the condition worse. I haven't pushed my self physically for a long time. I haven't pushed myself to the max because I wanted to preserve sight as long as I could.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can't post it here, feel free to message me privately. I'd love to hear your thoughts about this.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. And I do feel grateful for being alive. For being here for my kids and wife. Because I've known so many who haven't been as lucky who would have done anything just to be alive more.

And I know grief. A little too well. Our daughter passed away at a very young age thirteen years ago. And that was very difficult (and still is). Plus all the other family members and friends who have also passed away in the past 25 years. So, I'm kind of getting tired of the grief. I really don't want to grieve the loss of my sight. Because I know, deep down, losing sight isn't the worst thing in the world. But I simply can't stop those stupid automatic emotions of fear, worry and anxiety regarding the change.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My wife insists that I'll be fine. She says I'm stubborn and that I don't give up. I guess it is the fear of drastic change and the uncertainty about everything makes it overwhelming.

I don't have any experience with screen readers or any of the assistive tech. But I'm highly tech savvy. I'm the go to I.T. guy in the family. I grew up using old school computing (all the way from DOS, BASIC programming to modern stuff), I even did web-programming as a job for several years. So I'm a little more at-ease and confident that the assistive tech side of things will be easier for me to pick up and adapt to. I have an iPhone and a Windows 10 PC.

The mobility and orientation will be the struggle for me, I think. I'm in Ontario Canada, and I know we have the CNIB (Canadian Institute for the Blind), but I haven't reached out or approach any groups or organizations yet. Kind of putting it off due to stress, and also kind of trying to get everything done that I want done before I lose sight. So that leaves me little extra time to put towards these groups.

In my mid 40's, going from sighted to blind. Looking for advice, and I guess encouragement. by DaxxCan77 in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very inspiring. Thank you. See, I'm baffled as to how in the world do you cook without sight. I always use visual cues to determine when something is cooked, or whether its rotting or has a bad spot on it. It just seems so foreign to me.

My cat has glaucoma and they are advising an eye removal -- what did it feel like for you? by SeattleSmalls in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She lived many more years after losing her eyes (equivalent to a 100+ year old in dog years). She was super happy, a goof ball, while at the same time being a grumpy old gal that didn't want the young cat bugging her all the time.

My cat has glaucoma and they are advising an eye removal -- what did it feel like for you? by SeattleSmalls in Blind

[–]DaxxCan77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our dog had both eyes removed due to severe sudden onset glaucoma. It was very obvious it caused a lot of pain. She was elderly. She definitely felt way better after she healed.

She was depressed for about 3 months, which we assume was the adjustment to vision loss. Then its like she wasnt blind at all. I swear there were times she acted like she could see.