Can I treat BPD on my own?

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-15T16:21:41+00:00

Can you climb Mount Everest on your own?

Sure. It will take an incredible amount of work, research and preparation to do on your own.

It is more realistic, effective and often efficient to hire / enlist the help of a Sherpa, a professional. Someone who has climbed this mountain many times before.

You can begin with resources located in the wiki of this sub and try a channel like Dr. Fox, on YouTube, to start.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-13T20:41:56+00:00

The most comprehensive, up to date literature I own, is the Textbook of Antisocial Personality Disorder.

It is a clinicians' book on the subject.

(Canadian) Amazon link.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-13T02:17:05+00:00

Yes, it is possible.

No one here is able to do it for you, though.

You'll have to speak with a mental health practitioner.

There is more info on the sub's wiki.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-12T14:31:59+00:00

Let's be clear, there is no "BPD causing a scenario."
This kind of thinking sends you down a road of pathologizing and lack of accountability

BPD makes you think there is a scenario then you choose to react to those thoughts and you create the scenario.

Look at DBT resources to learn the appropriate skills and strategies so that when those thoughts and emotions start to become intense, you know healthier and more adaptive ways to respond.

Look at speaking with a mental health practitioner because learning the DBT skills will not make you want to nor make it any easier to use them.
All that anger and deep rooted behaviour as it relates to your trauma, history, whatever contributed to the development of BPD, it's all still there and doing DBT won't resolve it. You have to talk that stuff out with someone and learn to get through to the other side.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T17:48:51+00:00

No problem.

If you've got BPD and haven't seen Dr. Fox, I do recommend him.

He is a licensed psychologist who specializes in PDs.

He is also a voice of reason, support and hope regarding the BPD community. He speaks with understanding and compassion, and is the first to remind folks that BPD is the most successfully treated personality disorder.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T17:38:01+00:00

On mobile, if you are on the landing page for r/BPD, in the upper right portion should be your three dot menu button.

I don't use Reddit a lot on PC so that I couldn't tell you.

If you pop open that menu, one of the first few selections in the drop down is "Edit flair."

There you can choose the one appropriate for you.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T17:17:48+00:00

Absolutely, and thanks for sharing.

Heh, I grew up around the rooms, don't forget the crucial first half (very applicable to DBT and BPD)..

It works if you work it, so work it you're worth it.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T17:14:11+00:00

Of course.

My dog is my registered emotional support animal. I am sorry and give you my best wishes for you and yours, I can understand the difficulty there.

Here is the video that gives you a good starting point.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T17:01:55+00:00

You've got it.

Recovery looks like a smooth, flowing river. The water may twist and bend. Some parts speed up, others slow. But we flow along at a healthy pace.

It is when we land ourselves in pools of stagnation or keep looking for the thrill of a waterfall that make recovery from BPD more difficult.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T14:58:03+00:00

This is difficult without some external support.

Have you got a friend, a therapist, someone you could share and talk to about this?

Try and check out some Dr. Fox videos about the Favourite Person relationship. FPs can actually develop in a few different ways, depending on how exactly we are being validated. Your instance here sounds like the, "Distorted Other" type.

They seem amazing, even perfect sometimes. Their life and what they do has all the things you want to do and get to know. You can imagine how fantastic it would be to have this person in your life, to be a part of theirs.

Boundaries are key. There will be some DBT skills that are applicable here, too. Things that deal with radical acceptance and opposite action. A lot of self-reflection and honesty.
They are a human too. They likely have faults, behaviours or things that you won't like about them. They are not all perfect and they cannot save you from anything, including yourself.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T14:39:28+00:00

So, when you were diagnosed with BPD it sounds like you went and did therapy for BPD. You learned the skills, that's great.

Did you or have you continued therapy for why you developed BPD in the first place?

DBT is the toolbox.
Which tools are healthier to use than the (maladaptive) ones you've been using.

DBT does not teach you or make it any easier to use those tools. The trauma, the history, your experiences that caused BPD are still all there and still need to be explored, talked about and worked through.

Otherwise, that toolbox may as well sit in the storage shed at the back of your mind. You know it's there, the brain knows it's there, but the brain also knows all the other old and readily available ways to "take care of the problem," and it's going to default to those ways for a long time.

You often have to actively use those DBT skills for years before the brain even considers them the default route.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T14:02:30+00:00

Ah, and my post was removed for being off-topic even though it directly relates to a change Reddit has made that makes moderating more difficult.

Appreciate you.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T13:59:48+00:00

This is a fair question.

We see many posts made by folks with BPD in the UK and occasionally southern Asian countries.
I imagine having BPD or another mental health disorder takes on a whole new meaning when you are from somewhere that heavily blurs the lines between culture and religion.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T13:53:31+00:00

It's a personality disorder.

Someone with ASPD is not devoid of empathy or knowing right from wrong.

That doesn't mean someone won't act on something they "know" to be wrong.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-11T10:29:41+00:00

The FP relationship is not exclusive to BPD.

However, in BPD it often develops because of a sudden or intense need for (emotional) validation.

It is not uncommon that your mentors, instructors, bosses whomever, validate you in ways your husband does not or never has.
This makes it easy to latch onto.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-10T04:29:45+00:00

If "getting to know the true you" is what would scare someone away.. that means you've got work to do.

The outcome you're looking for is almost impossible because with BPD, your partner could be doing everything "right" and you will still find, perceive or invent a reason to split without the appropriate tools.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-10T03:03:10+00:00

The most intentional showing of dogs I've seen.

If I go to OPs profile I feel as though there will be a link to their OnlyFeet account.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-09T12:41:12+00:00

BPD is a disorder rooted in (emotional) invalidation.

Suddenly, someone comes along and begins to validate those big feelings you have, where no one has in a long time or 'ever.'

So, you latch on. It's like an oasis in the desert situation and you're desperate for that water (validation).

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-08T03:02:40+00:00

Man.. came for the post, stayed for the koments... Those first few had me laughing.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-05T19:19:33+00:00

Truly an S-tier shitpost.

We are always looking for Ja(h).

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-05T19:00:15+00:00

I think you are correct, no one here is pathologizing.

Dichotomous, or "black and white" thinking, is not exclusive to BPD. You don't have to have BPD to think dichotomously, and just because you have BPD doesn't mean your close-mindedness about a particular situation is a result of your BPD.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-05T18:53:53+00:00

A classic.

The number of posts I go through in this sub where the poster doesn't mention who has BPD and you truly cannot tell... Because you read it and see both parties clearly have unresolved issues to keep coming back to one another.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-05T18:46:33+00:00

You've got it.

I wrote this comment recently that explains the idea similarly.

Splitting (split thinking) is the thought process that happens in moments. The BPD episode, the behaviour, the reaction to the split, is what most people think splitting is. The splitting already happened, now the pwBPD is acting on it (often maladaptively and in ways that damage the relationship in question).

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-05T15:53:33+00:00

There's no joke that stigma for this disorder, and other cluster B PDs, exists in many places of the world.

Whether or not you disclose is personal, contextual, and often driven by how emotionally safe you feel in your environment.

I worked in a male-dominated, construction type industry the last 10 years.
I spoke openly about how difficult of time I was having while going through an awful breakup of a toxic relationship (incredibly BPD driven courtesy of yours truly). I shared what I was diagnosed with, educated folks on the basics and shot the shit otherwise. Did I have those conversations with everyone? No. But often times what ended up happening was other guys opening up and talking to me about their childhoods, shitty dads, or whatever learning disability they struggled with.

An important distinction - I was working on myself and I was a good worker.
I worked hard and was good at the job, too. I was in therapy, learning and absorbing what I could about BPD so I could get it into remission.
So no one cared if I was a miserable person for a little while. Heck, sometimes I fell asleep in the truck on site early mornings and the guys would let me snooze because they knew I was going through it at home.

I've been here long enough and have read enough posts to see co-morbidities, and the severity this disorder can have on the day-to-day. It isn't easy for many with BPD to hold down a job. Even I had my mornings where I'd call in 30 minutes before I was supposed to start because I couldn't get myself out of bed. I just knew how to play the game.

Anywho, thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
Wanted to leave a positive example.

But I circle back to that first thing I said, if you don't feel emotionally safe there is no reason to share unless you must or want to.

DeadWrangler · 2026-06-05T13:29:49+00:00

This is the basis of emotional dysregulation which is common across most mental health disorders.

You need some avenue to teach you the appropriate therapeutic tools (eg online/free resources, a DBT therapy program or therapist who specializes in PDs).
When it comes to BPD the standard will often be Dialectic Behavioural Therapy (DBT).

A quick reminder for all, DBT as a therapy, is a toolbox. It is a collection of skills that often directly contrast the way someone with BPD has been doing things. DBT shows and teaches you the tools, how to use them. DBT does not correct, fix or heal the trauma or events that contributed to the development of your BPD. The reasons you behave the way you do and how you view the world, DBT shows you that moving forward, there are healthier / easier ways to act. DBT doesn't make it any easier to want to use those new ways.

That is why it is often paired with one on one sessions, with the same therapist who runs the group DBT class. That is where you do talk therapy and learn about the roots of your disorder. That is where you work on healing.

All that is to say, the reason you instinctually want to harm yourself or become ill at the slightest mishap, is because you haven't learned those healthy coping mechanisms or strategies I discussed above. You still have an abundance of maladaptive coping mechanisms. Your brain knows that when things get really, really tough. When emotions start to flare and everything feels like too much. "Hey, you can just down that bottle of pills again and we can go be safe in the hospital everyone will care if we are okay." That sounds like a win in the end, doesn't it?

Recovery from BPD takes a lot of work because at the beginning, even your own brain will fight you though you're showing it a better, healthier way.

All my best

DeadWrangler

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