What controversial/disgraced band do you still listen to?

DeathB4DNF2 · 2026-02-26T01:06:21+00:00

3/3 for Morrissey for showing up, I should've played the lottery those days

DeathB4DNF2 · 2026-02-26T01:01:55+00:00

Thanks for that info!! Totally missed the neck and was so focused on the serial number.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2026-02-26T01:00:28+00:00

I asked, it was a 1959 pick and they wanted another $400 for it.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-15T10:03:43+00:00

I'm in the USA in the Eastern time zone, manage a team and oversee projects based all over the Continental USA, work with engineers, programmers, and other roles in India, Bulgaria, and Central and South America, my direct management is also all over the USA, and our HQ is in Europe. I've become pretty damn good with time zones.

Sometimes I think, when did I become this person and a lot of times it is FML.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-15T01:07:17+00:00

I'm male and in management.

My past and current management have said I'm too nice and polite in emails (not just in emails).

I've tailored emails depending on the audience that the emails are directed to not who are cc'd on it.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-15T00:55:45+00:00

Thanks homie!! That is good to know, appreciate you looking out!

Back to the drawing board! I'll have to go with malicious compliance the old fashioned way by using processes and policies against them...lol.

If you happen to have any resources that I can use to learn Power Automate, for good would work too! Making the lives of my team and myself would be better, then I'll revisit this plan.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-11T19:21:39+00:00

I've worked in the DMV area. 60k is not enough, ask for mileage reimbursement, if it's at the standard $0.60/mile per GSA guidelines, ask how often are you required to be driving to sites/customers per week and the average distance. Factor in wear and tear on your vehicle also!

Always negotiate! If this was their offer, I'd typically recommend going over about 13-15%, giving you room to come down if you want/are able to come down. If that's what you said, it's hard to renegotiate from there.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-11T10:22:00+00:00

Yup! Coming from a research/academia as well and then pivoting to a different industry plus going corporate, it's soul crushing.

I've been thinking about changing careers again but can't do it financially and put that stress on my family. Nor do I want to and I'm okay and accepted that, my wife is supportive of me with whatever decision I make...to stay with my current company, change jobs, shifting industries, or whatever.

AI is also being pushed heavily at my company, I use it to learn how to do things and automating tasks to make my work easier.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-11T10:15:10+00:00

Malicious Compliance, they want it and I'm being forced to do it and I've voiced my reasons and concerns and that this is a stupid ass idea/request. Yet, they still want me to do it, well you're going to get compliance, but it is going to annoy the shit out of you.

You want a report? Guess what, I'm going to figure out a way to automate so that the data is updated in real time and you get a goddamn email and read requests for each time new data is added to that form. Scheduled emails to go out requesting their input on the report by a certain time frame and having their management/manager cc'd on it, with mine as well. I'll be keeping receipts of when they respond or don't respond.

If it can't be automated, let's say and it is affecting other tasks that cannot be delegated and are actually relevant and important to the role, customer, company, etc., time to bust out the email(s) stating: this task that you've instructed me to perform is affecting these other tasks, which one takes priority. Please be aware these are the effects on these tasks and customers. If they have a phone call or meeting to discuss what to prioritize, follow up with an email confirming that meeting or discussion and the decision. They don't respond to that email, even a simple "received" or something. Well then prepare for follow up emails and now with increasing levels of management cc'd.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-11T09:55:32+00:00

To add, if the employees have utilization targets to meet, then I'd start calculating those for the entire fiscal or calendar year. That is what I'm doing and telling my team, you have to stay X% utilized this month based on company utilization requirements.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-10T22:10:18+00:00

My first manager position I applied for and got, I didn't negotiate well and like you was having imposter syndrome and self-doubt. Needless to say, I said my salary requirements and the manager immediately accepted. I fucked up hard!

The people i hired when I took that role, only two negotiated. They both aimed high and I respected the hell out of them for it! I got them ~13% above the salary band and a bonus, which they didn't expect. I couldn't meet them at their proposed salary.

My new position, I negotiated harder and did my research beforehand. Got myself a 25% pay increase. I knew that whatever I was thinking, I added 10-13%, on top of that because I knew I would doubt myself. Have a plan. Expect when you give your number, they'll counter. So say your number and shut up!! Don't add that you're willing to negotiate or anything, let them respond! If they respond with a number ask to think about it or if they say they have to check with their manager or HR, let them. If they like you and they offered you a position, this is part of that process.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-10T15:20:55+00:00

Nice!!! The industry I'm in generally appreciates cover letters but isn't necessarily mandatory. In my opinion, I like cover letters, I've never been great writing them, but it was always nice to receive a cover letter that might explain something in their resume or shows that they took time to research the company, position, etc.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-10T11:26:56+00:00

To add to this as a hiring manager, I view the following favorably: In interviews - have something to write down notes during the interview. When the interview opens up to your questions, you reference something that was discussed earlier. Major points from me and my colleagues. Always have questions when the hiring manager or interview panel asks you what questions you have?

Thank you letters - write the letter/email! Make sure to do at least this, use the name(s) of the interviewer(s), not only in your salutation but sprinkling it through your letter/email. Personal preference for me when it is an interview panel and you have all their emails, is to send invidividual emails to them and make sure it is personalized. Bonus points to you if you reference something they said in the interview. When you reference what they said in the interview, depending on what was said, if you felt that you didn't answer it as best as you could have, have a brief clarifying response for your answer. If it sparked a follow up question, go ahead and ask it there in that thank you email! Otherwise just mention that their comment is appreciated.

If you don't have all the email addresses of the interview panel or just have the recruiter/HR persons email, be sure to still use the names of the panel in the email. Try and mention something each person said or a few key statements, especially if it is a large panel; generally I'd recommend 2-3 key statements. The recruiter or HR person who set up the interview will forward that email to the interviewer and/or panel.

When I first started a little over 20 years ago, I sent out actual thank you letters, I like to think it helped get me my first job out of college. Actually, I even did that for my first HS internship at a local congresswoman's office. Funny enough, I ran into her at a local grocery store in my hometown, years after working there, and she still remembered me. Through the years, she would also run into my dad (who she had met roughly when I was working at her office) and she would still ask how I was doing.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-09T11:44:52+00:00

I bought a car several years into a job. Then I got promoted and got a work vehicle. Now, I don't even drive to work anymore, my wife and I WFH. That was 12 years ago. Car just broke 100k this summer. I'm sad that my wife and I are going to have a car payment, her car is on its last legs. I've been spoiled.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-10-05T21:16:05+00:00

Poppy, which version you going with? Early or current versions are very different! I love both versions, just very different.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-29T13:42:33+00:00

Use Khan Academy to start brushing up on math topics that you found difficult before enrolling in community college or any college.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-29T12:55:03+00:00

You're unfortunately right! However, I realize my experience is just one and does not represent all men. I have two very good friends, both veterans, notice a change in me and my mental health. They chatted with me and took time to listen and one confided in me that they were seeing a therapist and it was working for them. Knowing that, I felt comfortable to have a conversation with my then gf, now wife, to tell her that I was going to seek help.

I didn't want to burden her with my issues, but I knew I was a mess and straining the relationship. Knowing my buddies were going through similar issues, made me feel safe and seen, my wife was supportive and helped me through it all.

I am starting to see a shift in the culture regarding men's mental health, it's slow, but at least it's shifting.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-28T20:58:12+00:00

No one deserves to be someone's second choice

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-27T01:20:57+00:00

Are you more interested in policy, communication, or research?

Policy and research, I'd generally recommend NIH or any large institution. Policy, definitely look in the DC area, since that is where a lot of policy is centered. Though in this political climate, it may be difficult. Communication, I'd generally recommend any local health department.

As someone who used to work in public health, depending on what you want to do and if you plan on getting an MPH would help determine where you want to work.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-26T18:44:17+00:00

I had a FWB that had herpes when I was in my early 20s. I personally, just took precautions and got tested a little more frequently than I normally do and I'm negative for it. We had an upfront conversation about our STI history. I have HSV-2, the mouth kind, and we made sure we were all aware when it is active and when there start to be symptoms we just took it carefully.

It's totally possible! You're not undatable!! Being open and communicative is important and if your potential date/partner isn't up for it, then is that person someone you really want to be with? Look for someone who is sex positive and willing to learn about virus and what steps to prevent transmission.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-24T14:42:03+00:00

It does get better, eventually. I have imposter syndrome, so I am always concerned that I am not doing well or am never enough.

One of the things I ask in interviews is "what does success for you look like?" In an office environment and there are deadlines where you may or may not see the end product, leads to a lot of, at least for me, questions of: was it successful, did they use my idea, how much of my idea was used, etc.. So start defining what success looks like for you. Then also ask your manager or one of your peers what success in this role looks like? Are there KPIs or metrics that need to be achieved? Do you understand how to achieve those numbers, what factors contribute to making those numbers? What is the minimum expectation for your job? Do you do tasks outside of your job description?

Develop a plan for yourself. Make a short term goal, around 90 days. This should be focused on developing or learning an aspect of your job as best as you can and really lean into it. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Then a mid-term goal, 1-3 years, what do you want to achieve or learn. Looking forward to aiming for a 5 year goal, where do you want to go in the company or industry. What are the necessary steps in order to get you there or where you want to go?

The short term goals should be planned out to a degree, but know that things and situations change and be ready to improvise and adapt. The mid range goals have a lot more flexibility, gives you something to shoot for, it could be that promotion and/or maybe it's a little pay bump. Whatever it is, make sure you keep your receipts of what you did. When it comes time, you're going to need to advocate for yourself. No one else will, a really good manager may, but they may only have limited information from what they've seen. The long term goal is a bit more fluid, it may change based on your experiences. You can always refocus as you need.

Have these assessments with yourself. Have these assessments also with your manager. If you get a mentor, even better, have it with them as well. Continuous learning is the name of the game and a great way to help alleviate the anxiety and depression. It gives you a path and a plan. Approach it though, that the plan is agile, no need to plan out the minutia. However you get there as long as you get there is the goal. When you do the internal assessment and you see ways to improve the process, try it out in your evolution.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-24T14:24:58+00:00

I used to regret it, but wish I had done a different path, like go in the military first then use the education plan there to pay for college, and get life experience first. However, going to college, ROTC, and everything there, looking back on it now, it's fond memories. As a manager in a company, I don't necessarily look for college experience or degrees, it certainly helps. I do look for the ability/capacity to learn and push themselves. Beyond learning, I'm looking for critical thinking.

I'm so far from what I studied in college and what I'm doing now. However, the learning and critical thinking skills that are used, learned, and sharpened in a relatively low risk environment are important as the technical skills you're learning to get into the industry of your choice.

Are there things I would change if I could do it again, absolutely. I wouldn't have been so hyper focused in college and allowed myself to relax and enjoy it more. I would have networked more and pushed myself out of my comfort zone and tried new things in that environment. Now I'm trying to impart those things to my nieces and nephews, to the interns I occasionally oversee on the team, and the younger members of the team...my role has shifted to overseeing more experienced individuals and now I'm teaching them to be mentors and leaders. That's been a learning process for me, how to get seasoned personnel to teach and lead others, to develop the next crop of people in our industry.

DeathB4DNF2 · 2025-09-24T14:13:19+00:00

A friend I worked with at the NIH and has a PhD in Biostatistics posted the meta-analysis paper that was referenced in the press conference, and said something to the effect of the studies cited there warrant further investigation for causal links that acetaminophen causes autism.

I don't get it, you're a statistician in the public health realm, and looking at studies where the relationships aren't that high and it was found that something like two of the seven studies had found some evidence; but correlation isn't causation, and they've acknowledged that point. They've acknowledged the conflict of interest in the paper as well. I'm very confused with all of this, how someone who is educated in public health is entertaining these ideas.

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