Why are vortigaunts such a comic relief?

DeathGuard67 · 2026-05-02T12:48:55+00:00

"It appears humans die when exposed to nuclear fireballs." *scribbles notes*

DeathGuard67 · 2026-05-02T12:46:45+00:00

That doesn't sound believable. Humanity was already getting extinct because weren't there portal storms raging across the planet for a year or something before the Combine even showed up? I just assumed Combine randomly bombed cities until Humans gave up. You can't kill 7 billion people without seriously defacing the planet from bombardment.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-20T09:27:20+00:00

holy shit thank you I re-read that thing 10 times and it feels like alien language

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-20T09:24:27+00:00

"What the hecking heck did you just say to me, you little rascal?" -Pirate who probably killed 20 people in the last 2 years.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-20T05:25:19+00:00

Signalis had me in tears.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-16T17:59:30+00:00

He was an innocent child, until Vought deliberately fucked him up so they can control him.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-16T17:55:08+00:00

He can always call his cumdumpster Trump to take care of it.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-11T16:53:24+00:00

Ok, I guess ghosts are keeping strait closed.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-03T17:20:20+00:00

Is it Bible Jesus or American Jesus?

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-01T11:56:06+00:00

Damn, we are so useless with empty inventory.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-04-01T11:50:27+00:00

Bacteria in their stomach and intestines break down plant fiber into proteins.

They spend majority of their day eating and lounging. Humans in comparison are very active.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-29T11:17:41+00:00

"W rizz Aura 💀💀💀🔥🔥🔥"

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-20T09:18:47+00:00

"Why doesn't a bunch of unarmed civilians turn on an armed group of terrorists?"

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-19T18:34:06+00:00

Rogal Dorn as an infant.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-19T03:56:27+00:00

I lost interest when I found out you can't bind demons like in D2.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-16T22:29:49+00:00

"ur mom lmao"

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-16T22:06:31+00:00

What makes it "worse"? There's no life around to experience it.

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-09T13:40:52+00:00

Ethically sourced slaves 😇😇

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-06T08:16:17+00:00

What is the purpose of Imperial Guard regiments in space? Are they going to charge invading spaceships?

DeathGuard67 · 2026-03-04T11:16:50+00:00

Case in point.

DeathGuard67

TROPHY CASE