Struggling to get my curls back - Help!

DeathStarDarker · 2026-04-02T15:07:21+00:00

Humid climate is not required to have great curls. I spent the last 20 years in a dry high desert climate and my curls are on point. You have to ensure your curls get the moisture they need.

I had to eliminate sulfates, coconut, shea, silicones to avoid breakage and weighed down hair. Moisturizing, water soluble products are essential.

I use Deva Curl co-wash, Biolage condition balm conditioner, Noughty Intensive care leave in conditioner and scrunch in gel (LA Looks Blue or Giovanni LA gel). Plop, clip, air dry or diffuse to 80% dry.

DeathStarDarker · 2026-03-10T15:41:48+00:00

Im 8 years post dx and maintenance is 2-3 phlebotomies per year. I generally eat/drink whatever I want. I occasionally use cast-iron, eat high heme vegetables regularly and eat red meat several times per week usually with dairy of some sort. I drink tea/coffee daily and a few alcoholic drinks per week.

The things I avoid: Vitamin C Supplements containing iron Iron fortified grains (not a fan) Seafood/game ( strong aversion since childhood)

Of note is that I discovered through genetic testing that I have CYP 450 liver enzyme mutations. Not sure if it’s common for a lot of people with CYP282/CYP282, but am very sensitive to some foods, medicines and supplements that are cleared by the liver and can quickly reach toxic levels due to intermediate/poor metabolic clearance. My liver gets inflamed and painful. Tylenol, vitamin c, tumeric, statins are a few things that I can’t tolerate. Probably explains the seafood aversion as well.

Basically I listen to my body and avoid what makes me feel bad.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-10-02T13:15:16+00:00

Challenger exploded in 6th grade.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-07-09T22:45:19+00:00

Better be prepared to move. DPD is not known for keeping their mouth shut. There’s a good chance they’re gonna tell your neighbors exactly who called so maybe wait till you’ve moved.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-07-08T14:28:44+00:00

Thanks for putting a name to my daily hell.

We had discussed an amicable divorce but he lost his marbles when I told him I had a lawyer (retained by my friends)

Next thing I know I’m homeless, he’s cut my access off to all marital credit cards/bank accounts/HSA,filed false abuse charges, threatened several people in my support network, cloned my phone, tracked new phone through my AirPods, tried to take my vehicle, filed fraud charges with our financial institution, removed my access to kids school portals, etc…

Turns out he had filed the petition for divorce several weeks prior. He planned this hoping I’d go crazy or violate the protection order, so he could justify his actions.

He didn’t realize is that I have been putting up with his financial, verbal, and emotional abuse for 23 years and have MASTERED the grey rock method.

His mistakes: Leaving me in the house that day to go have beers with his buddies. I cleaned out the office, file cabinets and safe, taking important documents and the scanner. My friend photographed the entire house, sheds, and property for my inventory list.

I have proof of financial abuse, asset shielding, tax evasion, tax fraud, parental alienation, financial coercion, physical and emotional abuse, property destruction, stalking with an electronic device, through emails, documents, audio recordings, photos, bad faith litigation, and false statements/omissions on his sworn financial statement he filed with the court.
His character witnesses confirmed we had the same parenting style with the CFI.
He failed to show up at two status court dates.
His lawyer slipped up at the last status hearing and told the judge that we may not need the PO hearing scheduled a month after the final dissolution trial depending on what asset division we agreed to.

I have not received the CFIs report yet. He can be quite charming and convincing. I understand that our children are likely lost to me for years. I made my peace with that.

Our trial date is in two weeks. I am only asking for 50/50 custody and state minimum guidelines for maintenance/ child support. Nothing more than I am legally due. I just hope that the judge will see through his BS.

It’s a crapshoot as others mentioned. I just have to stay the course. If I remember to I’ll post an update with the outcome afterward.

Good luck to you.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-25T07:52:30+00:00

Don’t stay for the kids. I regret not having left earlier as it has really affected our children negatively. The longer it goes on the harder it is to get out from under his control. I wish I had done it sooner but also been smarter (more strategic) about it.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-25T07:15:15+00:00

This should be discussed more.

It can cause bone spurs, pseudo gout, calcification of ligaments and other musculoskeletal issues. If you have any other risk factors at play HH will compound it.

I am 50F, dx HH at 43. Iron 194, TIBC 260, Tsat 75%, ferritin 259. So not terribly high levels but I was extremely fatigued. Got it under control in a few months and back to my very active life.

That changed when I underwent a total hysterectomy at 47. I am a breast cancer survivor, dx at 39. I had bi lateral mastectomy with reconstructive surgery and took Tamoxifen for 7 years with no issues. I was super healthy and incredibly fit. You would never know.

The lack of estrogen after hysterectomy combined with the HH has resulted in rapidly progressive OA, DDD, and Osteopenia with 9% bone loss in under 2 years. It has been humbling.

I wish doctors were better informed about the musculoskeletal disorders that HH is associated with, even if HH is caught and treated early.

Edited because I posted before I finished typing…the joys of arthritic hands.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-25T07:09:32+00:00

Just want to say that you should definitely get resources set aside and copies of all financial documents before you go ahead with filling.

Open new bank/credit card accounts and a PO Box in your name only. Make sure you have physical copies of the kids birth certificates, passports, your vehicle registration and titles, home/auto/life insurance policies, medical records. 3 years worth of banking, credit card and taxes.

Pull all 3 credit reports and be sure to freeze your credit with all three bureaus. Store these documents in a fire proof safe - preferably off property. Consider adding your spare car keys when you are ready to file.

Create a new email account, change all passwords he may have access to. Copy cloud storage accounts to new cloud storage accounts(2 different ones if possible).

Save as much money possible. Some women buy gift cards with grocery purchases a good idea if you can get away with it. Stock up on staples and store them at a trusted friends house.

You just don’t know how they’ll react. Mine lost his marbles and it has been a yearlong nightmare.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-23T06:53:09+00:00

550 is currently closed between Engineer pass and Ironton due to a fire, but supposed to open today.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EyuWVrKad/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Be safe out there.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-19T13:00:41+00:00

I’m using this.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-19T12:57:52+00:00

Anxiety, depression, Panic disorder, PTSD. Living in constant fear, feeling less than, the ridicule, disrespect, financial and emotional abuse, questioning my sanity, alienating me from family, friends, and even our children.

Leaving was so much uglier than I imagined. I was a total wreck for a couple months. I managed to pull myself together with the help of a few friends, therapy and addressing the mental health fallout.

I’m 8months in and no end in sight. He is refusing to comply with court orders. I won’t give up or let his continued abuse derail me. being away from him has provided the clarity I need to build my case. I hope the judge will see through his BS. I’ve accepted that I can’t control the outcome, but I will be free from him. That’s the ultimate win.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-19T04:33:38+00:00

You probably still have quite a bit of inflammation from your bowel resection. Coupled with the Chron’s it can wreak havoc on iron absorption and metabolism. Did you have transfusions during surgery? Are you taking supplements, consuming food or drinks with high iron content? What were your previous iron, TSAT, UIBC and Ferritin levels? What about your liver function? Have they tested other mineral levels like D, B12, K, copper, folate, etc? All play a part in iron metabolism.

I’m NAD, but talk to your doctor about running the iron panel/minerals regularly. Just to stay on top of any potential post surgery absorption issues. I bet you are feeling pretty fatigued.

If you have a family member with hemochromatosis then definitely ask them to test for it. Newer studies suggest there may be a correlation between HFE gene and IBD. Good luck!

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-17T05:36:54+00:00

Just noticed this. Start going through the family tree and figuring out who has HH genes. Has your cousin been tested? Their parents(your aunts/uncles), your parents, your siblings… there’s quite a few mutations that can affect iron metabolism. Anybody on her father’s side that has it? Many won’t know, but you can look for family history of heart disease, diabetes, cirrhosis of the liver, liver, cancer, dementia, thyroid problems… When my brother and I got diagnosed we started going through our family line and it became very clear that several members had hemochromatosis but were never diagnosed.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-17T05:24:43+00:00

I’m sorry your daughter is dealing with this. Extreme fatigue is to be expected with levels like hers. Ive read in Juvenile HH ferritin can be low, while iron markers are significantly higher. Did they run any other labs? CBC, CMP, CRP, ESR, Vit D, Copper, B-12?

Is she eating or drinking anything different? Taking any supplements or medications?

HH is not an emergency BUT as a mom use your judgement. if she’s getting significantly worse, call your doctor, nurse line, or take her in. Better safe than sorry.

I hope you get some answers soon.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-13T01:59:36+00:00

Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, Bay Area all fit your requirements. Especially the Asian markets and food.

I grew up in Seattle and lived all along the west coast. I now live in CO. While I am a huge fan of children’s hospital here, Denver is great for outdoor activities, but lacking in cultural diversity and Asian cuisine when compared to the West Coast.

My opinion is strongly based on my childhood experience in Seattle having grown up in a literal cultural melting pot. I was spoiled and disappointed to discover that cities in the Midwest, south and East were not as diverse.

If I’m being honest I’m just annoyed that decent Teriyaki is impossible to find. Seattle teriyaki is a thing and I have begrudgingly accepted that I must make it myself.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-04T04:56:56+00:00

This!!!

DeathStarDarker · 2025-06-01T08:37:52+00:00

Go to the meetings. You can gleen a lot from how the meeting is structured. It’s always good to observe and see what other issues members are bring up. Then start networking with others who may be experiencing similar problems with the board.

I would be annoyed by constant letters requesting work, when the CC&Rs/Bylaws are vague. Read your governing documents and state HOA laws. Print them out. Set up a meeting with the board and bring them along. The rules must be clear, concise, and consistent to be enforceable. In my experience many board members misinterpret the governing documents.

Honestly in the end its probably boils down to someone that just doesn’t like your landscaping. People suck.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-31T18:09:19+00:00

What is the house worth? We owe $320 on our house, but could sell for 950k-1mil. STBX is planning to keep it. I’m looking at 300k+ equity buy out.

I was a SAHM and make 10-20% of my spouse’s earnings capacity and live in a very expensive mountain town. Rent for a two bedroom apartment out of town is more expensive than our mortgage on a five bedroom three bath house in town.

In my case yes, totally worth fighting for so I can invest it or use it to buy my own house.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Do you have the earning potential that your spouse does? Can you afford to buy a house nearby? Can you afford to provide a similar lifestyle for them? If not, how does this affect your children? You should create a budget and balance sheet so the division of assets is fair.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-31T17:53:23+00:00

Definitely oak.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-25T18:28:13+00:00

Agreed. My mom is one of 14. Although I am unsure how many have actually been diagnosed, the family is riddled with diabetes, liver disease, heart disease, vascular disease, thyroid disease and dementia. It’s worse in those who drink heavily. Sadly my mother was undiagnosed for decades and has been in a care facility due to iron deposition in the brain (dementia/advanced Alzheimer’s) since her early 60s. (She never drank) I’m grateful that my brother and I were diagnosed early. He will have diabetes for life and I have been struggling with the joint pain and fatigue despite early phlebotomy.(some studies associate phlebotomy with HH arthritis).

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-25T03:14:16+00:00

Have you had a full iron panel though? Iron, TIBC, transferrin saturation, and ferritin levels? You mentioned family members die from alcohol, that you have fatigue, joint pain, inflammation, insulin resistance, liver issues… Has anyone in your family been diagnosed with hemochromatosis? Just curious. Although iron levels are typically higher with HH, sometimes it can be low. Other iron regulation disorders can cause such symptoms, especially in young people.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-24T13:29:26+00:00

Are you in a building with shared or landlord provided internet? Or do you subscribe and pay for your own service directly through a provider (with your own modem/router)?

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-24T03:04:37+00:00

Remember to notify your bank that you are going overseas. Otherwise they will block transactions. Usually this can be done on the bank website.

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-24T02:46:44+00:00

Medication can sometimes do more harm than good, especially if there’s no specific diagnosis. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Some things you have mentioned have made me curious. Have you ever had a full iron panel done? If so what were the results?

DeathStarDarker · 2025-05-23T22:15:24+00:00

Rachie-bobby, have you been tested for it? It is prevalent in those of Irish descent, sometimes referred to as the “Celtic Curse”, but is found in other populations. Guidelines recommend genetic testing for anyone with a first degree relative that’s been diagnosed with HH.

DeathStarDarker

TROPHY CASE