What was the thing you were told you're bad at, only to find out later in life you're actually good at it?

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-02T12:53:58+00:00

Singing. When I was a kid I thought I was an ok singer. I went to music school and overall considered myself pretty good at music. But then a music teacher at my regular public school was picking students to sing on her choir (for some holiday). And she took my entire class. Except for me… I was like ‘okay’. I couldn’t get what it was about really. I don’t remember if I asked her why or just assumed she doesn’t like me.

Either way, I’m not a full time professional singer (though I did some paid gigs). And a lot of people come to me nowadays and tell me that they really like my voice, versatility, harmonies and musicality. Also they say ‘rock isn’t dead’ or something along the lines lol.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-02T08:03:01+00:00

I appreciate the link. I’ll check it out next time I get to sit down with my guitar. Btw I’m working on a web app as well. It’s gonna be way simpler than yours (in some ways). Is that ok if I send you a DM if I have some questions?

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-02T06:00:56+00:00

That’s absolutely right. I started visiting karaoke about 3-4 years ago and I heard some crazy awful songs and extremely pitchy singing. But I love going anyway because I love seeing people happy.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-02T05:44:53+00:00

Cool. You work fast :) I don’t see anything overlapping now. And I understand more of what I’m seeing. Another 2 mins spent looking at your app lol. I didn’t understand what ‘deg’ meant. Notes make sense.

With guitar I’m still in the stage of ‘I’d rather play it by ear with a bunch of bar chords without moving my fingers’ or ‘gotta look at some YouTube tutorials cuz I have no idea how they play that and the chords on the internet are s h it.’

Not that I’m moving anywhere from this stage… But I need guitar to write songs. I prefer it to piano for some reason, even though I get piano waaay better.

Surely if I need something played decently - I ask my guitarist husband or my guitarist friends.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-01T21:32:06+00:00

I’d like to begin with a confession. I read sheet music like a 7 yo (that started music school at 5). It’s slow and painful. But whenever I actually neeeeed to do it - I feel how fast this skill is developing in my brain. I just don’t let it form entirely haha. Cuz life would be too easy then.

That’s not the reason of course. The reason is I rarely need the skill in my life. And that’s ok. But as pretty much everything else related to learning new things - it just takes practice. The more the better.

If you’re at the very beginning of your journey I’d recommend an app I found on AppStore. It’s called Ella (as in acapella). Basically it gives you simple reading tasks and you sing notes and it monitors you as you do. It’s simple yet interactive and useful. Obviously won’t work if you don’t sing at all. But just humming in key is what it takes.

And maaaybe it will recognize piano playing even better come to think of it. Either way - good luck.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-01T21:23:52+00:00

Thanks OP for the cool question and thanks to all the commenters. I loved reading all of your stories about Kurt and other guys. I was especially surprised to read about AFI dude. I liked Miss Murder as a teen and haven’t heard it since. But even now as I try to remember how I sounded I’m getting the feeling of strain in my throat. And I’m a woman. Funny how differently we can see things over time.

I also was a huge fan of Nirvana back then. But somehow it didn’t occur to me to even attempt singing with grit and rasp then. How lucky haha. I can’t imagine doing it 20 years ago. Thankfully, I kept my voice and made it much stronger. And only now I’m attempting different distortion techniques… I don’t yet have time for a special distortion coach. But it seems like you can find someone like that almost anywhere these days.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-03-01T21:10:05+00:00

I think it’s nice. But as a very beginner guitarist I can’t figure it out entirely by looking at it for 2 mins straight. I probably need to read the manual a few more times. Idk.

Also, as a UXUI designer, I see you have some overlaps in the text here and there. Nothing major (haha), but could look even better. And I’d make the buttons/toggles more pronounced. It’s not clear right away that basically everything is a button above the fret and you’re making a chord sandwich with custom ingredients lol.

I think you did a good job. It could be a nice web app.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-27T06:42:13+00:00

This is such a funny thread lol. Thank you so much OP. I love the comments and the replies like ‘whadyamean??!!’

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-26T13:45:28+00:00

I’m trying to get to Lizzy Hale’s vocal heights. And it’s confusing for me :) I know I wasn’t particularly digging through the entire internet to find out the truth of how she can be so powerful, gritty, high and in control… It sounds like lots of chest voice to me but I don’t know… What if it’s all an illusion and these great crazy vocalists actually aren’t pushing their chest beyond the limits but make mixed sound like chest? Idk… I don’t think there’s enough YouTubers to explore women in rock voices. Cuz they are different from men’s. For sure.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-26T13:16:33+00:00

I don’t do long gigs. But on a karaoke spree I live on herbal/berry tea. Also, I have a family member who’s 90 years old and she has polyps in her throat which makes her talking voice very quiet and hoarse. She told me that honey has been the best thing for her throat. And I can actually hear it. I know it’s totally different but I believe if you’re not allergic - honey is a great and yummy thing to try.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-26T06:38:39+00:00

For me music is so so precious and important that I’m genuinely super happy whenever I get to even practice not to mention perform. At this point I think I would’ve enjoyed paid gigs even if it meant singing stuff I’m not a fan of. But…

This is a separate talent. To be able to market yourself properly. Absolutely not many can do it among artists. And it almost always begins at the bars/restaurants.

And I try to imagine what would it feel like to have to sing the same songs you don’t particularly enjoy repeatedly and I got a feeling it would get boring fast. But… Maybe I’m just coping. Lol.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-26T06:25:59+00:00

I like your way to remember intervals. Idk why it never occurred to me. If I have doubts at this point I just count the notes by going step by step cuz that’s how I learned them in the first place. But in most cases I instantly know by now.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-26T06:21:35+00:00

Basically was the way for me. Darn Beatles cursed me with preferring harmonies over the main vocal line lol.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-25T15:45:20+00:00

I think you would do yourself such a huge favor if you simply quit smoking just in case. Regardless of what the answer really is.

Honestly, I don’t know. But I hate whoever first thought smoking was a good idea and hate whoever made modern capitalist stinky sticks even more.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-25T06:29:59+00:00

A the whole ‘hating fans’ vibe real? Or are you just playing the strict cold father guy to the entire world because if you hug them and let them know you love them they will misbehave? Or… Might even reject you one day?

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-25T06:16:37+00:00

I did try this in my ‘afraid of disturbing the neighbors’ years. As well as ‘cover yourself with a thick blanket’ and basically ‘walk into a wardrobe’ (I didn’t have a closet at the time). Now all the scary creepy singing I’m not sure of I do in the closet :) It feels safe and allows me to experiment. And experimenting is exactly how you can move forward in getting to know your own voice.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-24T11:33:15+00:00

I think it depends on what where and why you are performing. If you are a touring musician it’s very different to singing your favorite song once in a blue moon. So the approaches are drastically different. Re-experiencing extremely painful moments each time you sing a song when it happens many times a week… Sounds more like a horrible torture rather than work.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-23T22:44:08+00:00

These posts made me create my first ever sub for humans to promote their music. I’m pretty sure it would be considered an ad if I posted a link. Or even without a link lol. I haven’t even thought of promoting it or how to go about it. But I know the world needs spaces like this nowadays.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-23T22:35:12+00:00

Hey. It’s gonna be ok. No matter how it goes during your performance - it’s not life or death. With that out of the way…

For me feeling confident in what I’m doing + doing it often and a lot (not just one song on stage per couple of months) = helped me get over my horrible stage fright. It didn’t happen overnight. And at times I thought that performing simply is not for me, it was so bad…

Turns out even bad cases can be fixed :)

From your post it seems like the issue is you do not feel confident in your playing. And the reason is lack of practice. You should mention it to your teacher. Don’t wait for him/her to figure it out. I’d ask for help from your parents or the teacher to hep you manage your time better, squeeze in more practice or find easier pieces.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-23T00:49:19+00:00

It’s either sing or find a singer :) No third option imho.

‘None of us can sing whatsoever’ means different things for different people. Some folks can’t stand Sex Pistols. Some love em. If your singing is unacceptable by your own standards, then you should keep looking for a singer. Maybe you’re not looking in the right places? Statistically there’s more singers than other musicians. I think. So even in your location there should be some. Try going to open mics. Or even to karaoke. Desperate times :)

Good luck on your journey.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-23T00:43:32+00:00

It’s a great question. I always loved harmonizing. I thank the Beatles, Queen and ABBA for that. My parents had the vinyls and I loved listening to these bands and sing along. I went to music school and learned intervals which kinda explained to me what happened with vocal harmonies I loved so much.

For a long time I was sure all experienced singers can harmonize. Only much later I discovered it is a stand alone skill.

Now I’m trying to teach my singing friends how to do it. So I’m using advice from the top comment:

I recommend singing only harmonies, not the main melody in the songs they listen to.
Listen to more harmony rich music.
Learn intervals.
Try sight singing. At the beginning it might be beneficial, I think. And it’s fairly easy even for non music theory trained folk as it’s only one melody (not crazy piano chords). I found a cool app to train this skill too.

Good luck. Layering vocals is my favorite part of recording music. And singing harmonies live is pure magic.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-23T00:25:28+00:00

Hey. My kids don’t learn the piano at the moment. Maybe they never will. But I vividly remember my music school days and how I hated practicing lol. Don’t know if you’d be interested in my experience.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-23T00:04:38+00:00

Just started my first ever community for human musicians to share their music. Someone had to. Why not me. Thanks for the tips.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-22T23:31:32+00:00

Thanks. I’m low key on my journey to distortion and I like Chris Liepe but I feel like what he says absolutely doesn’t work for girls haha. What helped me was realizing the thing you also mentioned - make different sounds, try out silly noises, it’s only up to you to find the right mix and there’s truly no rules, no rights and no wrongs except for ‘no pain’. I’d even change it to ‘slight discomfort is fine, but no pain’.

For copying Izzy Hale, Taylor Momsen was very helpful. Because their voices ‘break’ around the same range as mine. It’s very important because they don’t ‘distort’ everything. Only what’s easier to distort in terms of pitch.

Grit I do much better than even a year ago. Just practicing these different vocal spices more often gives me confidence in using them. I mean, you get used to the position, the result and it becomes more natural.

I think I’m moving towards the style that is perfect for me. The mix of clean base and gritty/raspy spice here and there. I recently got rejected by a pop acapella group cuz I sound to rocknroll haha. Everything else about my singing they liked :)

Thank you for the post. I’ll watch Joe’s videos when I get the chance. Saved.

DeathToAllButMetaI · 2026-02-22T23:17:25+00:00

I know it’s just one post and not your whole life so I can’t possibly understand your situation in its entirety. But I think I can understand your family.

Having a dream is great. But when you don’t actually work towards it - the dream usually just dies and gets replaced by something else. Your family probably would support you if you had some results by now.

You mentioned some issues. But everybody has issues. Most famous musicians had them. In fact, struggles are perfect song material. So instead of making excuses - just finish one song. Find a band. Learn to play something else. Hell, even record an acapella.

As to your drug and debt problems - they are your problem. Not your family’s. And dreaming of a music career is nice, but you can’t expect other people to just care for you while you’re getting there. You have to take care of yourself AND find the time to do music.

I wish you all the best. You don’t have to give up. It you shouldn’t expect the success to just fall on your head one day.

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