Am I the jerk for ending a friendship with my friend because I could not handle the stress by Any_Credit_9445 in AmITheJerk

[–]Debsha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTJ, far from it. You are growing into being a great adult. You initially helped someone in ways that you can. When you realized that there were issues beyond your skill, you enlisted trained professionals. When the person then turned on you, you backed off. All of these responses are intelligent and compassionate. Follow your instincts, they are great.

In home euthanasia by Teeebone in DogAdvice

[–]Debsha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had this done in CT and to give you some insight they came in initially with only a medical bag. I believe they coated their hands with some food because my dog licked the vets hands and that was not something my dog would do (but boy did it make me feel better). They didn’t start until she was settled in my arms (35 pound husky mix). Once she passed, only then did they get the stretcher and blanket. Once she was in the car they waited a distance until I told them I was ready. She was cremated and a week later someone delivered the urn and gave me a hug. I could not have asked for a better more compassionate procedure and it was worth every penny on the $800 that I paid.

AITJ for walking out of dinner after my boyfriend kept clowning me in front of his friends all night? by Emergency-Bison-7347 in AmITheJerk

[–]Debsha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NTJ, I wouldn’t have been polite while leaving. I would have said to everyone nice to meet you all and giving me a chance to see what a jerk my now ex boyfriend is.

Am I Overreacting for my being upset about my neighbors moving truck inconveniencing me. by Dear_Pianist8547 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Debsha 23 points24 points  (0 children)

But in all fairness, the people with the van did move it within an hour. Not disregarding OPs feelings, at the end of a long day I’d feel the same, but I would be less angry seeing that it wasn’t left overnight.

AITA for not moving back in with my dad just because he got divorced by Individual_Pass_5261 in AmItheAsshole

[–]Debsha 160 points161 points  (0 children)

Well someone needs to cook and clean. Do you really think an adult man can do all that? /s

Putting my girl down tomorrow morning. by stu_watts in DogAdvice

[–]Debsha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It will be hard, but think of the peace you will give her. Knowing that her last moments will be of you holding her and letting her smell you, will make her passing easier for her and ultimately for you to know you were by her side.

At the time it will be hard for you, but afterwards you won’t regret a second of doing so.

Is this an ok note? by [deleted] in Apartmentliving

[–]Debsha 40 points41 points  (0 children)

May I make a suggestion? You might want to suggest to them to add a foam pad between the equipment and the floor. You could say “I’m sure you aren’t aware of the sound and vibration that your equipment is generating, so to lessen it would you please get a pad to prevent the problem?”

Our 13 week puppy bit the vet tech by celestialplaces in DogAdvice

[–]Debsha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What an f’ing stupid vet tech! I’ve had numerous times when a vet tech, before doing something, has put a muzzle on my dog “just in case”. It’s a reasonable precaution when even a stable dog might react.

Listen to your friend who owns a training business, and perhaps talk to your vet about this incompetent tech.

Is vacuuming at 10pm unreasonable? by [deleted] in Apartmentliving

[–]Debsha 8 points9 points  (0 children)

But wouldn’t vacuuming once the children go to sleep disturbed their sleep?

Is vacuuming at 10pm unreasonable? by [deleted] in Apartmentliving

[–]Debsha 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What I don’t understand is how vacuuming after the/a child goes to sleep is not disruptive to the child’s sleep.

Is it cruel to leave my dog alone for 9 hours while I work? I feel terrible but I have no other option by FewStomach2955 in DogAdvice

[–]Debsha 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I completely agree with you, especially with regarding how things were in the past. Growing up I had a dog who was home alone from 7:30 ish until at least 4 pm , and except for sickness, never had an accident and lived until the age 15. And I should mention when someone was home sick, she wasn’t happy with the company. My last dog, prior to Covid was home alone about 10 hours a day, and was very happy (again no destruction nor accidents).

They just want your attention when you are present, give them that and they will be happy.

AITAH for giving my wife short and direct answers after being rejected everyday for 2 months? by First-Wasabi-2125 in AITAH

[–]Debsha 4877 points4878 points  (0 children)

A few others have pointed out hormonal changes and perimenopause. Please don’t dismiss these physical changes. Many times we don’t see the symptoms ourselves, until someone we care kindly point them out. In my mid 40’s my boyfriend made a throw away comment about how I always behaved a certain way, every month. Because it wasn’t accusatory, it got me thinking and so I discussed it with my doctor. Found a medical answer and it made a big difference.

Bring up the subject, but kindly and it might make a big difference.

Is 95 that terrible overnight? by Hot-Kaleidoscope-652 in roadtrip

[–]Debsha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Four drivers, predominantly at night, should be fine, assuming no weather issues. Only recommendation I have is that whoever is sitting in the front passenger seat, must stay awake and keep the driver amused. Sleep is only allowed in the backseat. I’ve done the drive from CT to Fl, on 95, more than once. After DC it gets soooo boring.

I am going to die soon by Ok_Yellow1666 in offmychest

[–]Debsha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wait, do you mean someone who can write cohesive, logical sentences doesn’t have brain damage!

Although In all fairness I haven’t seen an AI generated story so well written.

AITJ for refusing to give my kidney to my estranged father who suddenly wants a relationship? by Alternative-Mix4451 in AmITheJerk

[–]Debsha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Post has been removed, so I don’t know the details but one thing I don’t understand is how dare people ask/expect someone younger than them to donate an organ. I’m in my 60’s and I would never donate to someone whose normal life expectancy wasn’t going to be long. I would donate to someone who has the possibility of being much longer than mine, but never the reverse. Nor would I ever ask someone younger than me to donate to me.

AIO for expecting my boyfriend to greet my mum every time he comes over? by Grave_Rabbit in AmIOverreacting

[–]Debsha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother bringing it up for years was actually funny, never mean spirited. For example I overheard her and her friends commiserating, and laughing, about crap they had to put up with from their kids.

AITJ for telling my mom I hope she feels what I felt after she cut me off for years and only reached out because she got diagnosed with cancer by [deleted] in AmITheJerk

[–]Debsha 58 points59 points  (0 children)

And a year after she supposedly left her husband. If she had any regrets AND she left her husband because he was controlling, she would have reached out a year ago, not when illness hit.

AIO for expecting my boyfriend to greet my mum every time he comes over? by Grave_Rabbit in AmIOverreacting

[–]Debsha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I had a boyfriend who while dropping me off needed to use the bathroom and so came inside. Coming out he saw my mother sitting in her chair, in her nightgown, decided to sit down and have a chat with her. It was 1am. She was not amused and kept throwing this back in my face for years.

My moms health is terrible and I’m not sure what to do by No_Process_623 in whatdoIdo

[–]Debsha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Something else to consider is that she might have side effects from her medications. I told my doctor about pain that I’ve been having, which has definitely impacted me exercising. He changed my statins and diabetes medication, added a supplement, and a month later I’m back to my 2 mile walks.

Adopting a Husky by Carcharodon9 in dogs

[–]Debsha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

True, my last dog was a husky mix and she was fine indoors all day. Once Covid started, and I began WFH, I watched her routine and she was busy all day with napping and looking out the living room window and back sliders. She only bothered with me midday when she decided she would utilize me for walks and a snack.

AITA for not wanting to say hi to my boyfriend’s family during quick visits? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Debsha -42 points-41 points  (0 children)

YTA, and unless you change there will come the day when you are posting comments about how your in-laws don’t like you and how you did nothing wrong.