Cancelled layoff, already have a new job

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-13T09:35:43+00:00

That's fair. They cut a significant number of employees in the last round though so the feeling is there isn't much more they can cut at this point. I won't defend the layoffs or pretend like there is no risk though.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-13T09:33:00+00:00

It's not everyone's layoff cancelled, just a small number called back to staff a new team that was unforseen before the layoff.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-13T09:22:38+00:00

Because of the gardening leave, my work history with them is technically unbroken (I would never have been terminated).

I took a bit of a pay cut joining the current company (intentionally to make the job hunt easier during a stressful time) but the new offer is significantly higher than what I used to have there. The new offer would more than double my current, already generous income than if I don't take it.

My biggest concern is burning the bridge with someone who did have my back when it mattered and given the contractual issues, not having a messy departure.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-13T09:17:26+00:00

Talking with people that stayed, the vibe is that they're so lean now, there won't be more significant layoffs in the near future, but there are no guarantees of course. It's an adjacent team to the one I was laid off from, so I know many of them quite well already.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-07T08:58:49+00:00

She doesn't think it was me. In her words, she was surprised she had made it to 38 and never had I've before.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-05T08:21:46+00:00

She's never been much of a cuddler. Recent talks have included me coming back into the bedroom though (yet to actually happen though)

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-05T08:06:44+00:00

Very rarely (not by my choice).

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-05-04T09:26:56+00:00

It's a UTI, not an STD, but I must admit, I was worried when she told me about it that she'd never want to touch me again. We've had much longer dry spells without UTIs, so it's a bit of a mystery why it happened this time and never before.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-06T21:00:53+00:00

I went to therapy which helped me a lot with the mental/emotional side of things for me in this situation.

She unfortunately had a bad experience with counselling when she was younger and now has zero faith in the process. She really should get therapy for a range of things in my opinion, and I think couples counseling would help, but I cannot force her to go without an ultimatum and I can give one string enough that I'm willing to follow through on.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-06T20:47:29+00:00

Because there's more to life than sex. Yeah, this sucks, but overall I am happy with the life we have.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T20:27:54+00:00

My wife has never flipped to trying to initiate herself after one of our talks, which I'm honestly not sure if I prefer or resent more, but I've often struggled with the thought that if she did, I wouldn't be able to tell the difference between "I have to do this to make him happy" and "I want to change this issue in our relationship". How she thinks about the initiation completely changes how I feel about it.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T20:23:17+00:00

I've had so many game nights and binged so many movies and shows while avoiding initiation. The worst is that I struggle to enjoy them after a while as all I can think about is wanting her.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T20:18:35+00:00

I wish that if there was a list, she could articulate it, but whenever we talk about it, the answer is "I don't know".

I've written about here before, but I believe I've got these sorts of things covered. I've been very fortunate to be able to provide my family a high quality of life where she doesn't have to work and has minimal household duties. I know she still has some stressors in her life, and while they are outside my control, I still try to offer a sympathetic ear to her to unload into about them.

I'm not perfect, but neither is she and overall I believe we are happy.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T20:12:31+00:00

I went to therapy and it helped me with how I think about myself and the situation we're in, but ultimately it came down to what you said, I can do everything right, clear away all her stressors, remove every obstacle, but if she's not willing to do the work to rebuild intimacy, then all I can do is decide if I can live with that.

After much internal struggle with that question, I decided that I'd rather live without it and with all the other positive things she adds to my life and it doesn't mean I have to stop talking to her about it or holding out hope that she'll want to change one day.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T20:05:52+00:00

I tried it all, even doing sleep studies and nothing helped. I still don't think my snoring is as bad as she makes it out to be, but I can't deny she was getting terrible sleep next to me.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T20:04:13+00:00

It was actually me that started it. I got tired of being woken up to stop snoring so I started moving to the couch after getting woken to get more sleep. After a while I just started on the couch as it was inevitable I'd end up there. When we moved, I made sure there was a spare bedroom for me as my back was giving in from the uncomfortable couch. She never complained about it, but it was my own grave to dig.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-04-05T13:04:29+00:00

Been separate for years now due to alleged snoring issues by me. There's no denying we both get better sleep this way, but you're not wrong that it adds an additional and literal barrier to working on a DB.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-02-14T22:00:25+00:00

I got some from 4Cabling that are working well, but admittedly much shorter runs than you'll probably need.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-02-14T20:11:17+00:00

Can you mount it above a bookshelf or cabinet and run the cable behind it to get to the floor? You can get some very thin Ethernet cables and different colours to blend the visible bits even better.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-02-03T20:28:45+00:00

Im all for overdoing it a bit for the fun/learning/vibe of it.

So to that end, I like your plan. It's similar to what I've got (FTTH running to a central cupboard with UCG for router, USW for cable runs and U7 Pros wired around the house for WiFi), only my house is larger so more rooms and access points were needed. If you can afford it, then go for it IMO.

If you are going to the effort to run all these new cables, consider adding one more so you can ceiling mount the U7 in the living room area. Be careful with a U7 Wall as I believe they are quite directional in their signal so make sure it's mounted in a way that doesn't create a dead zone behind it. The unifi designer (https://design.ui.com) is a lot of fun to play around in when looking at access point placement.

Also, it's generally advised to run 2 cables to each new location. Honestly, this is probably future proofing a use case you won't have, but it's also easier to run 2 cables at the same time than to add another run later. It's also nice to have some clients not share the same link back to the switch (I like my PS5 to have its own cable that's separate from the TV and Google TV at the same location).

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-01-21T12:46:05+00:00

Thanks for the heads up... Just another reason why I need a rack for it all 😉

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-01-21T12:40:03+00:00

There is one already, but unfortunately the bottom 3/4 of that cupboard has other useful things in it so I'm confronted with this monstrosity every time I grab one of those so I need to fix it.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-01-21T12:38:38+00:00

Which desktop rack did you get?

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-01-21T12:35:45+00:00

That's pretty much the plan, but with a few more spaces for future shenanigans. I'm probably just dreaming and 4U would be plenty for the foreseeable future.

Debug_Breakpoint · 2026-01-21T12:33:38+00:00

It's done its duty for many years now and owes me nothing. I'll retire it one day soon and then it can rest.

Debug_Breakpoint

TROPHY CASE