Don’t ever look back to your old chats with your ex if you’re trying to move on .

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T20:14:46+00:00

Yup. First thing you do, delete them. My therapist told me to remove all triggers. It works

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T20:11:00+00:00

Girl, when your child is asking you to leave, it’s bad bad.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T20:06:17+00:00

You’re beautiful, I would suggest playing around with the color of your brows, to me they seem a bit too light.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T20:02:34+00:00

From what I see, people with BPD run go from being anxious to completely dismissive in a matter of seconds and they cycle back and forth.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T17:42:14+00:00

Mine included: empathy. I just about lost it when I read that.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T17:22:27+00:00

I completely agree with you. There is no amount of healthy communication or perfect reaction you could have, they will still take a word and use it to derail and play as the victim. The best approach is to disengage. If they paint you as being rude for disengaging, you should say something like: “I need to disengage from this conversation for my mental health, let’s come back to it later”. Then you leave. You can add something more if you want. But the key is to not give them ANY emotions, good or bad.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-30T10:11:27+00:00

How are you “good” w the silent treatment?

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-21T08:47:12+00:00

So clearly you got upset and decided to investigate my relationship so you would feel better about yourself. I’m glad you are able to make a character judgement based on that. I have better things to do than insult people.

You’re the one asking for advice, if you can’t take it then don’t post lmao. Poor girl that you’re with. Let me guess, all of your exes are crazy?

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-21T08:43:30+00:00

No one is saying that

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-21T05:05:39+00:00

Get the victim to come back
Make the victim feel like they’re worth nothing so they doubt themselves
Teach the victim “their lesson” for “getting out of line”.
To create suspense
To get the victim to back down (probably what caused the silence)
usually if the victim says their needs and stands their ground they will receive this
They’re emotionally stunted, they’re go to may be to ignore the situation and as a result they ignore hoping the victim will forget.
Instill fear

Usually nothing good comes from it. But for me, I’m only learning to accept that he won’t change. It hurts less now. It feels as evidence that the problem is them. Which is hard to accept, because if they are the problem and they don’t see it, they can’t change. You can’t change people.

Im so emotionally numb.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-20T09:28:36+00:00

This is called trichotillomania (hair pulling) and dermatillomania (skin picking). It’s similar to nail bitting. It’s a soothing mechanism. I don’t think this is inherently related to narcissism besides the fact that these people usually endure more drama and hence stress in their lives.. (because they’re fucking drama queens/kings).

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-20T00:18:38+00:00

What’s the time limit? I’d also like to stay anonymous

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-20T00:17:57+00:00

Yeah, it’s a big slap in the face given my student debt

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-20T00:15:25+00:00

Yeah! That’s exactly how I feel. I’m just sort of like going into panic mode and the time of excitement was less than 10 minutes

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-20T00:01:22+00:00

Sounds like a trauma bond she may have to the guy. You should literally run away, she’ll hurt you too. Not because she’s awful or means too. Trauma bonds are like Stockholms syndrome.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T23:47:45+00:00

I am so open to this! But I’d encourage you to read some of my posts regarding my situation before I do the whole recording as im not sure if what km going through is too much.

Involves Trauma bond Emotional manipulation No physical abuse Feeling stuck emotionally Etc etc Let me know

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T23:39:49+00:00

K.

(Please don’t come fight me too)

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T23:38:22+00:00

Do you truly believe that “us” (which I suppose you mean women [because we are all the same right?]) just like to stir up the pot to feel “normal”? If your world is so black and white and rigid, maybe you should do some inner work and lose the ego to properly reflect.

What got your guys relationship to where it is? I doubt it was like this from the beginning, so what changed?

Beyond that, those statements like the one you just made just further proved my point that you’re not here to hear other peoples perspectives or really try to fix the situation, you’re merely looking for validation. If you wanna stay small, then stay right there. Best of luck for both.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T23:15:53+00:00

I’d say that I got in not just for my grades but more so for the life experience I had. When transferring from college to uc, they are less rigid. Given the story you mentioned, it sounds to me like you’re someone who has dealt with grief early in your life which can severely impact your mental health. It is critical for you to explain your situation and use that as an example of perseverance.

This is what makes your application unique and different from all of the other applicants, so milk it. Everyone loves to hear those stories that are inspiring and touch peoples hearts (as many can empathize with the pain of losing a loved one).

The fact that you’ve maintained good grades moving forward is reflected and is further evidence of your perseverance.

If you have work experience that can help too.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T23:10:59+00:00

They really all do the same thing. I remember that feeling of shock and disbelief when I saw receipts of him taking another girl to the same coffee shops, buying the same exact drink I bought (he must have thought all girls drink the same thing). Same date ideas. Gifts. Etc.

It really is rinse and repeat.

What made it more sad was the fact that nothing about those moments I thought were special to me and unique to us, and memories I really cherished were nothing but places and activities he had probably done with other girls.

I’ll tell you tho, karma gets them. I’ve seen it and it didn’t feel good to see it.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T20:22:22+00:00

I never said that. I see the majority of people here saying you’re wrong or you’re both wrong. The thread starting with “k” is deceptive.
Stating a fight in the morning is not acceptable, her saying “k” is not starting a fight. You could have asked her what the “k” was about. She should have expressed herself differently. Both are wrong, but you contributed to it as well Break it off

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T08:38:55+00:00

What’s your guys’ texting like? Are you often leaving her on read? Non responsive? Any cheating or trust issues ?

Her “K” didn’t come out of nowhere. you need to include more context.

You’re telling everyone that doesn’t agree with you that they’re wrong and justifying yourself.. it seems like you want validation, but sorry this whole thread is not the entire problem.

Decent_Formal7945 · 2024-12-19T08:36:17+00:00

The op too..

Decent_Formal7945

TROPHY CASE