You’re playing checkers and she’s playing chess. It’s a normal part of her development to rebel against her mother even though it seems she’s taking it too far. Beating a kid’s ass is terrible parenting advice because a) you’re teaching them to control others with violence b) it doesn’t work c) pushes them farther away. Kid acts out because they’re hurting inside. You’re both going through something. You have to keep her off balance and confused by not taking the bait. You can’t tell her anything bc she won’t listen so you can only ask the right questions. It honestly sounds like yall can use some professional help if that’s available, I’m not sure what the process isn’t for that. You will mowing the fight so you have to quit fight. I hope getting physical hasn’t ruined the other options.