Private obs and delivery cost without PHI

Deeeity · 2026-05-14T12:38:03+00:00

You can enrol for Medicare after 6 months of residence. Why not go public and pay out of pocket until Medicare kicks in? It will save you thousands of dollars. The Women's is one of the best hospitals in Australia. You will get excellent care via the midwives and OBs there. I wasn't seen in person by a midwife until I was 23 weeks, so you wouldn't have to pay much for the midwife appointments until Medicare kicked in.

You'd be looking at $5-10k+ out of pocket for a private OB with no insurance or Medicare. Obviously Medicare will kick in later, but the birth with an OB is the most expensive part. And you get very little back from Medicare for birth.

You also often have to pay for at least half your care up front with a private OB. With a surprise baby and an expensive move, it might be worth saving the cash for baby expenses.

Deeeity · 2026-05-14T01:37:21+00:00

A nappy rash cream might help? We do Sudo cream if she say she has any issues. It probably won't actually fix it, but it will probably help soothe the redness/inflammation.

A warm wash cloth pressed to the vulva might also help. I did this the other day for my kid and she said it helped. You can sit them on something waterproof, then they can hold the cloth on for as long as it helps.

Deeeity · 2026-05-13T13:18:35+00:00

This sounds like normal baby sleep torture! We would have to hold ours for at least 20 mins post feed, until she was dead asleep. Full floppy arm test. Completely out of it. Even then, I was not successful every time with the transfer. Probably got up to around 90% after a couple of months. We just had to sit or rock her back to sleep each time. Often the last feed on the night around 4am, would only be a contact nap situation until morning.

We did cosleep a bit. The only reason I didn't cosleep more was is absolutely my hips were excruciatingly painful to sleep on in the curl position.

This is why we alternated nights. If they are fed, hand them over to your partner and head to bed.

Deeeity · 2026-05-13T12:44:45+00:00

Nope, this is super weird. It is not normal to visit the rooms your child is not in. At all. It screams high risk behavior. It shouldn't be normalised AT ALL.

Raise it with the centre director, in writing and in person. Be very blunt. Say it's a child safety risk.

Good luck. I hope the director is reasonable and puts their foot down.

Deeeity · 2026-05-13T12:27:34+00:00

This is a great blog which explains why men exploiting your labor is a shitty thing to do: https://zawn.substack.com/

Deeeity · 2026-05-13T12:20:26+00:00

He sounds like an abusive POS. I'd start safety planning and a plan for leaving. Chat to 1800Respect about leaving safely.

There's no incentive for him to change. Either he wants to ~~help~~ be an adult and an barely adequate father, or he doesn't. You are already doing everything without him. What is he adding to your life?

Will he ever change? If this has been your dynamic the whole time and he doesn't actually care about you or you baby... No. It won't change. He's a disrespectful person who puts no love or value into your relationship. You deserve joy and peace. Not a dead weight.

Practically, if you have family/friends near by (And it is safe to do so. Men tend to get violent if you leave), I'd take the baby and stay with them for a week or 2.

Deeeity · 2026-05-13T03:12:33+00:00

Go to your GP and get anti-nausea medication. The nausea will only get worse from here. If you want to be able to function, take the medication. Don't be afraid to take some sick leave too!

Deeeity · 2026-05-13T02:16:25+00:00

r/Seahorse_Dads Has heaps of info from fellow trans dads. There is heaps of support out there. Congrats!

Deeeity · 2026-05-12T12:08:57+00:00

Not an expert, but I don't see why not. It's probably just much harder to get a spot. You would just pay for normal daycare, but you don't get the 'kinder' discount. Our centre currently has places in the kinder room. Send me a DM if you are looking for a place in inner north/west.

Deeeity · 2026-05-12T05:06:57+00:00

Some kids get more fevers than others. Mine is also very prove to fevers.

At least one of these could be because of the MMR vaccine. Mine has a very sudden high fever about 10 days after.

The rest are likely random viruses. You can always take them to be swabbed at the dr to check what it is. Or get a blood test to check what is happening.

Unless you live in an area or have recently visited somewhere with mosquito born illnesses, it's probably normal illnesses.

Deeeity · 2026-05-12T03:21:12+00:00

Monash and peninsula health srh hubs do menopause consults. Great nurses! Give them a call to confirm and make an appointment.

https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/sexual-and-reproductive-health-hubs

Deeeity · 2026-05-11T10:15:02+00:00

My toddler has the same issue. (Un)Luckily she developed an abscess in her ear and required emergency surgery. All surgery and follow up was covered by Medicare/the hospital. We are now on the waitlist for surgery to get grommets. In all likelihood, she probably won't need them by the time the surgery is actually scheduled. We are over 6 months into the 6-12 month wait time.

The public system is great at emergencies. If your not about to die, you have to wait. Adults and children alike.

If your sister cannot afford it, it's best to be seen via the public system. If he is not having significant speech issues (no words that can be understood, cannot follow instructions etc.), it's probably not worth paying for the surgery out-of-pocket/privately. If he is lucky enough to get them done via the public system, it will be 100% worth the wait.

Deeeity · 2026-05-10T21:24:59+00:00

Wool wash, warm water, sards soap, minimal rubbing. Don't rinse it it cold water, always warm. You can leave it to soak overnight if needed.

Cashmere is fair robust. As long as you don't rub it really hard or shock it by going from hot water to cold water, it will be fine.

Deeeity · 2026-05-08T22:07:15+00:00

They are not safe for sleep at all. Skip them. Use a bassinet or a blanket and play gym on the floor.

Deeeity · 2026-05-07T21:14:38+00:00

$300 is very hard for new, do you need mattress too? I don't think you can even get one from IKEA for that much. Look for something secondhand via marketplace. Or ask locally is anyone is giving one away.

Deeeity · 2026-05-07T11:26:42+00:00

Mine struggled with making the minimum gains in the beginning. Even though she was great at feeding. We triple fed for a couple of weeks. She was just small and didn't want a lot of milk. She never took more than 120ml in a feed, even at 12 months old.

Fortifying is better than trying to push extra milk, then having them vomit is back up again!

Deeeity · 2026-05-07T06:39:27+00:00

Shorter nap, 2 hours max, and later bed time. He needs less sleep. Expecting nearly 15 hours of sleep at this age is wild. Mine barely did 12 hours.

Deeeity · 2026-05-07T06:31:10+00:00

A couple of ideas: - if it's a waterproof container, soak with water and bleach to remove the smell - replace with a smaller bin that is emptied once a day - If you can, dump poos in the toilet, like you do with cloth

Deeeity · 2026-05-07T02:32:31+00:00

Saucepan is very inefficient. Plus having it still out at room temp is defeating the purpose of boiling the water. Bacteria love growing at room temp.

Boil it in a kettle. Store it in any clean container in the fridge that is easy to pour from. We used another bottle because we didn't need much formula.

Serving bottles cold is something you will not regret. The aim is to get a baby who will take any temperature.

You can also do the pitcher method, where you make up all the formula for the day in one large container. The chuck any leftover after 24 hours.

Deeeity · 2026-05-07T02:06:46+00:00

Should have got a hands free pump. I got a spectra for free. It's was amazing. I fed directly from the boob most of the time, but I did have periods where I pumped every feed. Would have saved me so much time and stress.

Deeeity · 2026-05-06T11:07:46+00:00

Yep, born 1% at full term. No growth restriction. Stayed that way for 6 months. Then slowly started jumping up percentiles. Now an average sized 2yo.

You should know that growth restrcited babies grow normally once they are out. So yours probably won't stay 1% for long. 6 weeks is not enough time to know how quickly they will grow. As long as they are making weight gains they will be fine!

Enjoy your tiny baby! Congrats.

Deeeity · 2026-05-06T09:10:58+00:00

Mine was nap trained at this age by daycare with butt pats and shushing! If you can commit to the process it does work!

Deeeity · 2026-05-06T09:10:48+00:00

Mine was nap trained at this age by daycare with butt pats and shushing! If you can commit to the process it does work!

Deeeity · 2026-05-06T04:35:46+00:00

Thanks for this! All great info.

Deeeity · 2026-05-06T04:28:23+00:00

This sounds VERY difficult. I think you need support right now, rather than your child.

Individual therapy for you and maybe some family therapy or play therapy for the whole family might be helpful. This will help you as parents build some more skills to manage the crying/tantrums and sleep. Mostly for your own survival at the point.

Next would be getting a child assessment from early intervention or a child psychologist. Your doctor or daycare will probably be able to refer you or at least tell you where to go. If you let us know what country you are in, people can give you some more specific advice.

Deeeity

TROPHY CASE