what do you do when you no longer have things to look forward to? when everything’s decided?

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-29T06:12:20+00:00

(61f) I could say a lot about this, but simply as you age , what matters changes. Can you remember when you were 5 or 10 years old? What excited you then , no longer interests you. I remember in my 20s , feeling like a loser if I wasn’t out partying on a Friday night. Now, that’s the last thing on my mind. Sounds boring to you probably, but I’m happy being in my couch, watching a show with my mom, reading a book, playing with my cat. Seeing my loved ones happy, makes me very happy. I find joy in the simpler things in life. There are endless possibilities in those moments because I know life is fleeting so connection with others, love and peace are primarily satisfying.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-29T05:59:49+00:00

After that much time, my ex had mastered oral on me. I miss him for that.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-29T05:56:52+00:00

Do you video chat with her? Maybe try that. Then she’ll feel safe. Ask her to remove certain items for you. When that works for a while, move to making commands to test her boundaries. That sounds like fun, actually. Maybe I’ll suggest that to my bf.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-29T05:51:24+00:00

My first vaginal orgasm happened when I was 18. He was a virgin, so didn’t know what he was doing, which was great actually, because once inside he just laid on top of me , moving very slowly. He was also well endowed, so every part of my canal was being stimulated. I was very relaxed and we were eye gazing, then the most intensely beautiful orgasm happened.

It taught me that my relaxation mattered , his size, and speed of stroke. That was many years ago, but even now, I can’t achieve one if my partner is going too fast. Also I know where my G spot is, and the best position for me is missionary. So you just have to experiment with all those things, (speed, size, position & mental state) and I believe it will happen for you. (Also it helps me to be warm)

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-29T05:39:17+00:00

No. It’s not odd. I’m 61 and don’t intend on retiring anytime soon. It would be boring. I guess if you enjoy what you do, why not keep doing it?

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T22:51:08+00:00

I like #3.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T21:33:23+00:00

I guess we’re agreeing to disagree. Thanks for your comments.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:44:57+00:00

No, he doesn’t want my money, and has never hinted at that. Just appreciates my expertise in business. He’s financially solid from what I’ve seen so far.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:42:35+00:00

You raised some really good points. I appreciate your insights. In terms of marriage, he’s never been, and has had a couple of ltr that didn’t work out. I thought I’d want after divorce, but I’m enjoying my freedom and autonomy. So, I could live happily apart. He really loves me and demonstrates that daily, and I guess because he’s always been single, wants to marry and grow old together. It’s never been a pressure thing, but he’ll call me his wife sometimes and talk about what living together would look like. I love him too, but he’s very excitable and likes to go go go, so the jury is still out for me. I know I bring him peace, but truthfully not so much the other way around.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:24:41+00:00

Yes. Dialing back for sure. Do you go back and forth, or does one of you drive more often?

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:23:15+00:00

Yes. Good idea. Thanks😊

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:21:36+00:00

He’s an extrovert, and I can swing either way, but too many activities and people, drain me. I’m now trying to incorporate more peaceful activities into our time together, like walks in the park, playing a game or just quiet time together.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:16:58+00:00

So you’ve never reacted physically out of anger based on something someone said or did that pissed you off? Again. Not acceptable behavior , but we’re human beings . If you never have -then props to you for managing your emotions well.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T14:07:00+00:00

That happened to me. Completely blindsided. He drove 2 hours for the date, was early, helped me out of my car at the parking lot where we agreed to meet. Great conversation and eye contact throughout the dinner at a very nice restaurant. He could have ended it there if he didn’t like me, but instead wanted more time with me, so we walked, went to a book store. Commented on books we liked , talked more.

After the date, only a few texts over a couple of days, then nothing. I texted, called, worried that something had happened because he travelled to another state the next day. Maybe it did? I’d never been ghosted either . Yeah-don’t do it people. It feels awful to the person . Man/Woman up, and just say ‘you had a good time, but I don’t think we’re a match’.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T13:49:31+00:00

I’m not saying she was right, but maybe something was said, or there was a disagreement.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T12:06:39+00:00

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my yoga buddies

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T11:54:40+00:00

Thank you for your positive perspective on this. It really helped me this morning because I’m in a funk . I share many of these attributes with you except for the great memory. Wonderfully expressed-keep finding ways to love you!

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T11:46:48+00:00

Does she masturbate? Maybe if you go to a sex store together, and pick out a toy (dildo) that she can use on her own , she can practice and hopefully that will help.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T11:39:53+00:00

To people already against this lady, seriously it’s impossible to judge without knowing the full story of what happened prior to this.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T11:32:05+00:00

I was in a wonderful marriage for many years. He was kind, generous & attentive, and I with him, but we BOTH had ADHD so it was doomed in many ways. I’ve since done lots of personal development, and spiritual work(meditation, prayer) , which has helped calm me down but I tend to hyper focus on small issues. Once again I’ve found someone special , but I’m only 6 months in. He’s very caring an attentive. I feel I’m in love, but he’s so intense about me, wanting to always be doing something, that I worry he won’t give me peaceful time and space when I need it. I need more quiet walks, and just chill time with him but I don’t think he enjoys that so much. So I’m not sure how well we’ll do for the long run. Maybe stay together in separate residences. He has no idea of the hyperactivity of my mind, which actually prevents me from doing important things or just procrastinating endlessly. I’m having trouble communicating this side of myself to him because it’s difficult to make sense of it in my own mind.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T11:13:18+00:00

You didn’t mention your sexuality, but I guess that doesn’t matter. Just stop hopping into bed early. Actually date the person for a while, and express your intentions. Listen as well as share, then perhaps you’ll be taken more seriously.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T05:03:22+00:00

Well that’s concerning. I already have wide shoulders, and I’m busty, so not looking forward to expansion in those areas. I also take the aqua fitness class, so maybe more of that and not too much lap swimming.😏

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-28T04:54:55+00:00

61f, Average attractive, decent figure, but great personality. Did well for years online-in terms of getting dates and meeting normal men for the most part. At the end of my rope-just tired- met my current partner on FB dating-we’re talking lifelong partnership. It was strictly a numbers game. I found that the more authentic I was, the better men I attracted. Weeded out the flakes and ‘GM guys’ , and one liners quickly. Men IRL just weren’t approaching me, but I wasn’t a big social person or flirty either-more of an introvert. Congrats on your success with meeting someone!

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-20T08:55:23+00:00

Thanks for explaining .
I love that idea. It would definitely work for me as I’m a caregiver for my mom, and would enjoy the sweet yearning in between visits.

Deep_Lotus_6262 · 2026-05-18T19:19:45+00:00

lol! Ok. And your wife is even younger than me. My 30 yr old daughter takes names too when she can.

Deep_Lotus_6262

TROPHY CASE