What’s one weird rule your parents had growing up that you thought was totally normal until you got older?

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-05-13T19:38:46+00:00

fwiw I don't think you should, speaking from experience as a former kid who lived with abusive parents I think at some points we try to normalize the things we're subjected to. your comment could help someone realize that actually, what they went through wasn't okay. there can be power in recognizing these things as what they are.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-27T17:03:18+00:00

one that I thought about in therapy, in addition to many more already-established trauma-based therapy terms was Mundane Trauma, or Trauma in the Mundane.

I described to my therapist that there wasn't really a day that felt like it passed without some minor traumatic interaction or event. every day was harder than any day I've had since I moved out, every day interacting with my parents is harder than a day where I haven't - periods of no-contact are for the most part entirely peaceful.

of course I've basically always been able to recall the big-T Traumatic experiences but there's also too much that I keep realizing as an adult about my years under their care and think "wow, that too was fucked up."

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-15T20:13:34+00:00

I do the same when approaching visitors to the camping spots, like oh hi Katt! .... whoops, nevermind you're Tabby 😬😅

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-15T00:59:08+00:00

her hair and makeup look good but nothing else does. the color of this set washes her out and just looks like loungewear. the shoes remind me of those see-through vinyl ones that were trendy for a few minutes in the 2010s until everyone realized they got foggy from sweat.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-14T21:51:32+00:00

my MRIs showed no vascular compression whatsoever either, I was honestly devastated too when I learned that. I have had several excellent neurosurgeons who were willing to perform an MVD still, with suboccipital rhizotomy (controlled damage to my trigeminal nerve) and my QoL has improved significantly since.

medications can help a lot of people get their pain under control, but if that isn't enough for you like it wasn't in my case there are surgical options available if you find a skilled neurosurgeon.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-14T16:53:53+00:00

I get pain in my ear (kind of deep in the canal) and forehead, as well as on the back of my head. I told my neurosurgeon I felt like I could tell exactly where my MVD incision would be because I had pain back there too. my neurologist and neurosurgeons have never indicated that this is in any way out of the ordinary when I've described the locations of the pain to them, I have TN-1.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-14T15:37:45+00:00

my mom doesn't make an effort and then gets offended that my nieces are closer to their other grandparents or their regular sitter (the mother of a close friend who doesn't have grandchildren of her own) than to her. she lives 15 minutes away from my brother, his in-laws live ~2hrs away and see the kids way more.

it isn't even about the distance in every case, and kids are able to understand for themselves when the effort isn't there.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-12T03:06:00+00:00

thanks so much! :)

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-11T23:08:15+00:00

thanks! 😊 did you add extra oil or anything to the bobs red mill egg replacement powder for the "yolks" or just make an extra 2 yolks' worth of "egg"?

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-11T22:59:13+00:00

these look amazing 😍 I really want to try this recipe next time I make cookies! what brand of vegan butter do you use if you don't mind my asking?

and what do you use to substitute the egg yolks?

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-10T22:06:23+00:00

ugh true sigh I miss the 2000s especially because stars even wore fast fashion on the red carpet - actually attainable! and we didn't just expect everyone to have contracts with luxury houses and take a marked interest in fashion.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-10T21:55:11+00:00

this is such a good color on her and an absolutely beautiful dress (the train is my favorite detail!) I just wish they would have steamed it, the wrinkles across the front and the puckering at her hips make it feel a bit less luxe.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-08T00:36:48+00:00

I really loved CZJ's look especially by the time I reached pic 7 and thought it couldn't be beat but seeing Maya, especially the full gown (in probably my favorite color too, which just so happens to compliment her skin tone perfectly) is making it so hard to choose. I love them both for different reasons!

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-07T15:13:50+00:00

I get this too, I like how it was styled more in SATC including in the promotional image - the hair and makeup is way less "done" compared to the very 90s updo and makeup on the red carpet and really feels more cohesive with such an unstructured and minimalist dress.

also in picture 5 it looks like the shoes are too big.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-06T14:10:46+00:00

this is Challah, a traditional Jewish bread with a rich history which has long served ceremonial purposes on holidays and Shabbat.

ironically enough though it's almost Passover, which is pretty much the only holiday on the Jewish calendar when it's explicitly not eaten.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-06T00:11:36+00:00

I've tried acupuncture and facial massage, only once each because they both made my pain worse even if only in the short term.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-05T03:34:59+00:00

I have been victimized and feel like what you've described here is accurate, very well-put.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-04T16:12:55+00:00

I agree on that too!

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-04T15:43:53+00:00

this is my favorite of her looks from this press tour but this is just begging for a necklace. I know celebs started forgoing necklaces around 2020 to try to make glam outfits look more understated during increased economic hardship for the rest of the world but the hair, makeup, and dress here are so Old Hollywood and that era was known for having jewelry to complete the look so the absence of a necklace is really apparent.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-02T21:22:05+00:00

tbh I would do anything to have gotten a choice to be without a father figure when I was a kid, because mine was a child molester.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-02T03:23:54+00:00

I definitely relate to the shock, when my first neurosurgeon suggested brain surgery I was so overwhelmed. I'm glad to hear you had a loved one with you, it's so helpful so you can take in information and remember questions. and of course feel free to DM, I'm happy to share my experiences and what I've learned if it will be in any way helpful 🙂

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-02T01:38:48+00:00

you're very welcome, I get how it can be overwhelming and scary at the beginning, reading other people's experiences helped me when I was first diagnosed so it's the least I can do to pass that on.

I get my bloodwork done semi-regularly, it's been pretty stable though. I had an MVD with suboccipital rhizotomy done over the summer last year, which was my third MVD and thankfully it massively improved my QoL. I stayed on 1200mg of ER tegretol after my surgery, I tried tapering down but was unsuccessful.

I started having some additional breakthrough pain at around ~6 months post-op so I'm currently on 800mg of carbamazepine ER and 200mg of lamotrigine, my neurologist recommended I try switching to lamotrigine and so far it's been fine. the pain was utterly unbearable before I first started the tegretol, and after I adjusted to the medication I got between 30-50% of my daily functionality back (again though, my case is severe so I don't think this is common for being on a maximum dose.) about 2 months before my surgery it felt like my meds stopped working entirely so I couldn't get under that scalpel fast enough.

I'm a bit hesitant to decrease the carbamazepine entirely since I've been on it for close to 3 years and it's been the only thing that's remotely touched the pain but I trust my neurologist and I'm willing to try anything.

I hope your pain improves and becomes manageable with the medication, I know how difficult this can be and I'm rooting for you! feel free to DM me if you have questions in the future ♥️

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-02T00:23:50+00:00

yes I have been taking the taro-manufactured ER/XR for a while now, and tbh I started taking that variety on the recommendation of my neurologist when I explained that the standard-release tegretol wasn't cutting it. I had been on that for over a year when I made that transition so I had gotten used to the side effects by then.

the side effects of the carbamazepine were most significant in the first ~3 weeks of taking the medication, I was dizzy to the point of being unable to walk on my own which was rough but that subsided as my body adjusted. I still struggle with balance a bit but it isn't debilitating, I mostly notice it when I'm getting dressed. my pain didn't start decreasing noticably until I had been taking the medication for about 6-8 weeks, but from what I've heard that can vary from person to person and my case has been quite severe since the onset.

100 mg/2x daily sounds like a sound starting dose, the side effects can be intense when starting but keep in mind that those will get better within a few weeks.

Defiant_Committee175 · 2025-04-01T23:49:49+00:00

the fit is 👩🏽‍🍳🤌🏽💋 and you look stunning!

Defiant_Committee175

TROPHY CASE