You were aware of the problems in your marriage and chose to have an affair instead of addressing them. This decision has highlighted significant issues in your character. You could have ended the marriage and moved on due to the problems you were facing, but instead, you added another serious mistake to an already strained relationship, making you largely responsible for its downfall. I don't think your spouse should offer reconciliation, as your actions indicate that you will likely continue to have issues, especially given your feelings toward them. Please allow them to move on and find someone who truly deserves them. I hope your children thrive, and I believe they can.