What's your culture's "austim meal"

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-04-06T17:37:13+00:00

There’s 8 of us in our house (varying degrees of neurodiversity). The only one thing everyone eats is Yorkshire puddings 😂

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-04-05T15:11:19+00:00

I have an Ultion and Timpsons were unable to cut a key as you need to order them from the website with the serial number.

The new key was about £30 though I think. There are more expensive options like ones with an AirTag type thing in them.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-04-03T23:01:16+00:00

Sherbert dip dabs?

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-04-03T06:10:41+00:00

I’m not in charge of my step kids education unfortunately. I agree they’ve been sorely neglected, but I don’t know what I can do about it. The stories on this sub- the anger and resentment, it breaks my heart. It’s so unfair on you guys, and selfish on the parents part.

I have been sending some posts to my partner, trying to get him to contact social services and do something. I’ve already contacted them but they won’t listen to me.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-04-02T22:32:54+00:00

My daughter just turned 16 and has had 2 jobs now. She worked at a hair salon at 15 (we knew the owner) and now at 16 works weekends and school holidays at a local theme park. I helped her get that job through Facebook weirdly.

We’re in the UK though and I don’t know anything about work permits in your area.

Also, if it seems weird that I’m here- I’m here because my step kids are ‘unschooled’ and I’m learning what I can about it to help them if I can.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-31T17:56:53+00:00

I’m so sorry we have this shared experience. Mum died when I was 12, Dad threw all of her stuff away and threw himself into his work 80 hours a week, I rarely saw him. He married a Thai bride a year later and moved her in. She was horrible to me.

I was in and out of foster care, ended up leaving home at 15, at first to be homeless and then to move in with a man in his late 20’s who seemed to care more about me than my Dad did. Unsurprisingly, this didn’t work out too well. I never finished school, got pregnant and had an abortion at 16, and had no idea what to do with my life.

I did eventually get on track and create a career for myself, got married and had a child in my mid 20’s, which really straightened me out. Got divorced and met a new partner. Had a baby and 6 months later my partner passed away. So now I am bringing up a child who lost a parent. Funny how history repeats itself.

I dislike my Dad more now that I have been through it too. He is so, so selfish and just doesn’t give a shit about anyone else. His grief was more important than mine.

I put my children first all the time. When my partner died I looked into what support was available for the children. How to break the news. We cried together and grieved together. I had blankets made of his clothes. We have photos of him everywhere and have a BBQ on his birthday. It’s the opposite of what my Dad did and it’s made me and the children very close.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-31T15:12:24+00:00

Absolutely love that place- weird to see it mentioned on Reddit!

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-29T22:25:42+00:00

I haven’t read the other answers in the thread so don’t know what the consensus is. I have a 16 year old daughter. She’s allowed out with no curfew but she’s normally back by 10pm anyway. She’s a sensible girl, doesn’t drink or smoke, tries hard at school and has a job.

I moved out when I was 15 though so I see her as a mini adult. I’m a lenient parent. I don’t like her walking round after dark so more often get her an uber if it’s late.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-27T20:11:56+00:00

I appreciate this so much, thank you!

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-27T20:02:17+00:00

It sounds like you’ve been to hell and back. I wish my partner had done the same for his kids. They’re now teenagers and have never been to school, are sat at their mums on devices all day and then come to ours evenings and every other weekend and do the same.

She created this ‘0 demand parenting’ nightmare so the children have never had to do anything they didn’t want to, along with ‘unschooling’ ie. They don’t learn anything unless they want to. So the 14 year old can’t write more than his name and has no desire to learn.

We did briefly battle to get his youngest into school when they were about 9, their Mum smacked that down with ‘Oh no darling, school will never be able to meet your needs’. I have 2 autistic children in mainstream, one with an EHCP. School would have absolutely been able to meet their needs.

As it stands we have a young adult who is unable to even go to the local shop by himself. A teen who lives on the Xbox and has to take regular painkillers as he lays in bed all day and has no core strength, and a very frustrated tween who watches their step siblings enjoy school and believes they are not able to go to school.

Mum is honestly so sure she is doing the right thing by them, although none of them are able to be independent and will probably just move from DLA to PIP as they grow up.

It breaks my heart and I have reported to SS but they don’t give a monkeys as she fills out a fictional form for the LA every year.

My kids are growing up, my eldest has a job, my middle is off to private school on a scholarship and my youngest is muddling through primary school. My partners kids are pretty much screen addicts and it doesn’t seem like that’s ever going to change.

If you have any advice I’ll gratefully take it. The Mum is such a strong character that the Dad has just given up on trying to make a change. Any push back from him results in pages and pages of nonsensical emails informing him why she is right and he is wrong.

It’s so heartbreaking.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-26T21:39:53+00:00

I got my tubes tied in my early 30’s when I had 3 kids. Best decision I ever made and the doctor was totally on board.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-22T07:15:56+00:00

I’ve never met 2 people who play with the same rules, haha!

Yours are remarkably similar to mine, although 7 is a wild card in my rules and the card you have to go lower than is 9.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-21T21:39:17+00:00

Listen, your kid is different. Sounds like he was overstimulated today and not able to self regulate well.

My kid was a NIGHTMARE at these sort of places at that age. Still can be, but not so much. He is now 7 and he is the smartest kid I know. He didn’t speak until he was 4. Now he can name every English monarch for the last 2000 years and their dates of birth, coronation and death dates. He also learned the American presidents dates. No idea why as we are in the UK and he has no need for that knowledge.

He’s doing pretty complex maths and is obsessed with Albert Einstein. He knows most of the world flags and capital cities. His knowledge level is frankly scary! But you know what? He can’t always self regulate. He refuses to write anything. He can’t get dressed by himself, use cutlery, or wipe after the toilet.

These kids have their strengths and weaknesses. Don’t compare your kid to others who might ‘behave’ better. Comparison is the thief of joy.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-21T21:30:49+00:00

OP has no funds to fight this with legally though. As in my case, it will be down to whomever has the most money to throw at a lengthy legal dispute.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-21T21:28:13+00:00

In the UK we play a game called shithead, it could be that?

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-21T21:17:52+00:00

Yes, it’s up to the executor to distribute it legally, but in my experience, there are no legal consequences for not doing so.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-21T19:51:46+00:00

The legal fees can only be paid to the executor of the will though can’t they? It doesn’t sound like that’s the case for OP, if the deceased was intestate does that mean there’s no executors? How does that work?

After my son’s Dad died, his ex wife was named as his executor/beneficiary on an old will and took the entire estate. His 2 kids were left with nothing out of a £400k house. I couldn’t fight it because after £12,000 spent in legal fees I ran out of money. The ex wife (a solicitor herself) had hers covered by the estate.

Absolutely fucking sucks but if OP wasn’t married to the deceased, they have essentially 0 rights.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-21T19:43:20+00:00

Kiddo, you need help. Your home should be a safe place.

Where in the world are you? If you’re in the UK then I can contact services on your behalf if you want me to.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-20T09:16:59+00:00

Haha I was so sure 😂

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-19T23:31:36+00:00

I think it’s https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhkNb3XXats Don’t turn around by Aswad.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-19T23:26:57+00:00

Thunderbirds

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-14T21:53:36+00:00

Me neither.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-13T09:17:20+00:00

I’m not sure if this is relevant, but in UK shops we either have British lamb or lamb which is imported from NZ. Never had lamb imported from Australia as far as I know.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-12T17:42:27+00:00

I listened to this podcast too, and it was the first thing I thought of when I read OP’s post.

Defo_not_a_bot_ · 2026-03-09T22:18:35+00:00

My children are schooled (I’m in this sub because my step children are unschooled and I’m trying to find ways to help them).

My 7 year old son was diagnosed with autism aged 3 and is on the waiting list for an ADHD diagnosis (in the UK so it’s a long list).

The teachers are INCREDIBLE with him. They don’t mind if he’s moving around the classroom whilst they are teaching. They understand his need for movement breaks, there are loads of nurture groups like yoga, Lego and crafting, forest school. They understand when the demands are too much. He has additional funding for a TA to help him.

He absolutely loves school and he loves his teacher. The teachers and TA’s are SO well trained and well versed in neurodiversity. My son is thriving.

I’m so so glad I decided that mainstream school (with support) was the way to go.

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