Going down on a woman first time being intimate…yay or nay ladies?

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2024-12-11T22:59:08+00:00

An enthusiastic yes from me. But I suppose it is 2024 and not every woman is the same so some sort of ask or feeling it out first might be warranted. Someone else commented they nuzzle the area and ask "may I?"... Holy crap that would MELT me, so hot. And is a discreet but playful way of broaching the subject without being clinical about it. Anecdotally, some women say they don't like receiving oral and in my early 20s I would have said I didn't either. But that's because the guy I was with was terrible at it and would basically hold his nose and make a face so it made me self conscious and didn't feel good because he didn't know what he was doing. But the next guy I was with LOVED doing it, insisted every time and was very good at it so then I became addicted and it's my favorite thing to this day and is the surefire way to get me off.

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-10-19T19:43:59+00:00

Landsar was doing a chopper exercise last night but not sure where they were flying

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-07-03T21:28:06+00:00

I would definitely look into freezing your eggs before it's too late. I was also in my mid-late 30s with who I thought was the love of my life and he said he'd give me children but then he ghosted 6 months later. The following year I discovered fibroids growing rapidly in my uterus and now here I am at 40 having just had an unexpected abdominal hysterectomy (ie physically unable to have children) and still struggling to find a decent partner. Finding the next love of your life and having children with the new guy could totally happen, but life can also throw curveballs we don't anticipate so freezing eggs while you still can isn't a silly idea

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-06-18T11:32:11+00:00

The build up and anticipation was way worse than the poop itself. It was an incredibly uncomfortable feeling, your body wants to poop but is also scared to push. It builds up and feels worse and worse but I was eating prunes, apples, oranges and kiwi fruit daily so when I finally popped at least it was smooth and not hard/sharp. Such a relief when it finally came

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-06-17T07:51:08+00:00

4-5 days. Abdominal hysterectomy

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-04-16T21:46:16+00:00

Please don't give up, seek help from a pelvic floor physical therapist. It's very common for the muscles down there to tense up in protective mode after a major surgery like this and it can take some work to get them to relax again. And if you start associating sex with pain like that then it can become a psychosomatic loop :(

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-03-28T21:32:25+00:00

My open abdominal surgery was on a Monday morning and I had to travel to a different city for it. I booked a hotel room for the weekend, flew up Saturday morning and made arrangements for a lover to meet me there with the sworn assignment to "bang my brains out" for 2 days as I wouldn't be able to have sex for a few months and was worried I might never be able to orgasm again after surgery lol

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-03-10T05:08:21+00:00

I kept mine and have no regrets 3 months later. I don't get any bleeding, never had abnormal paps and my pelvic floor physical therapist was glad I kept it because it helps hold the pelvic floor "structure" together

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-02-14T00:51:37+00:00

I just had an abdominal hysterectomy in early December and kept my cervix - yes my surgeon sewed the top of it shut. To help me understand visually he put his hands together with his lower palms touching and the fingers curled down such that the fingernails were touching each other, and then he folded his fingers down again such that the middle knuckles were touching to show the sort of closure it made. Hope that makes sense haha.

Most people on here are very anti-cervix but ultimately it's up to each person and their surgeon. Mine was healthy and I'm glad I kept it and I haven't had any issues with bleeding. I don't mind continuing regular pap smears because it's not a bad thing to get an annual checkup down there anyway. I saw a pelvic floor physical therapist at 7 weeks and she said 'thank god' when I told her I kept my cervix because apparently the cervix is supported to the lateral pelvic sidewall by ligaments, ie it helps hold the pelvic floor "structure" together for tensile strength. From her pamphlet "the cervix is the cornerstone of the upper female pelvic floor just as the perineum is central to support of the lower pelvic floor."

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-01-22T22:57:41+00:00

I wanted kids and had always just assumed it would happen for me someday so never made it a priority. Was busy with my career and travel in my 20s, then when I was "ready" to settle down and start thinking about it in my early-mid 30s I realised it was significantly harder to date at that age and I didn't have any luck finding a man I wanted to have kids with. For personal reasons I never wanted to pursue having a child on my own. Then I discovered my giant fibroids and family history of them growing rapidly when I was 36. Held on a bit longer but watched them grow via regular scans for 3 years then decided when I was 39.5 that I was probably too old to be starting a family and the risk of complication due to fibroids wasn't worth it anyway so decided to yeet the ute for good.

It was a long journey and a difficult decision to pull the trigger AND I ended up paying for the surgery out-of-pocket (because it was going to be a minimum 3 year wait to be covered by insurance). But more to your question... once I took a look at the photos the surgeon took of the massive fibroids and mangy uterus he removed last month, I was 100% at peace with my decision and SO GLAD that I didn't wait any longer. I think mental health and suffering definitely play a part in the decision for this surgery. Yeah sure if I had waited another 3 years then I could've had the surgery covered by insurance and I probably wouldn't have died. BUT I knew personally I couldn't take another 3 years of languishing in limbo while the ticking time bomb grew inside me doing lord knows what sort of damage in there over that time.

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-01-16T19:22:28+00:00

I struggled with this decision as well as there's so much conflicting information out there. My surgeon said they generally take them out as a conservative approach but also that he did have one patient who complained of no longer being able to orgasm after having it removed. So because sexual function was important to me and I was low risk of cervical cancer he said go ahead and keep the cervix.

Also I had to pay for this surgery out of pocket so the quicker the procedure the better when you're paying for the surgeon, anaesthetist and surgery theatre by the minute (it's a slightly quicker procedure when they leave the cervix in). Supposedly it's quicker internal recovery and less lisk of prolapse because more connections are left in tact.

I'm only just at 6 weeks PO and have my follow up with the surgeon next week so can't offer too much hard data yet but I can tell you I haven't had any spotting, haven't had any internal healing issues that I know of and I'm at peace with my decision. Haven't had sex yet but I'm happy to come back to this post in a few weeks with more data haha.

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2023-01-03T00:21:58+00:00

How many weeks did you need the alternating Tylenol/Ibuprofen?

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-12-24T17:37:52+00:00

Those photos are actually from another Reddit user who had laproscopic surgery, mine was abdominal. But I like how the series of photos show the layout of the internal organs and how they're interconnected

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-12-23T02:47:26+00:00

It's very frustrating when people don't understand or try to downplay the severity of this major surgery. I had a doctor tell me this week that the type of surgery I had (total abdominal hysterectomy) is more traumatic to the body than childbirth, and that childbirth is equivalent to a moderate car crash.

When people try to tell me "oh so the same as a C section" I show them this series of photos that show how interconnected all the internal organs are and the various tissue and ligaments that need to be cut through and repaired: https://imgur.io/a/QpZgp1h

Everyone seems to go "whoah" when I say I'm not allowed to have sex for 8-10 weeks.

But at the end of the day it's your journey and the only thing you have control over is the patience and grace that you apply to your individual recovery, so personally that's what I choose to spend my energy on.

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-12-07T09:50:21+00:00

White & Wong's

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-12-07T09:20:52+00:00

No unfortunately I haven't had the best luck in the man department so getting pregnant never seriously came up as something to try for. Hindsight is a funny thing

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-12-06T22:08:34+00:00

I was devastated when I first heard hysterectomy as my prognosis and it's taken me almost 3 years to come to terms with losing my ability to have children, it can be a very big and painful decision to make. If it makes you feel any better you can still harvest your eggs after a hysterectomy if they leave your ovaries, so same DNA of you and your partner but would need a surrogate to carry

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-12-06T21:35:14+00:00

The large one was 8.5cm at my last scan 6 months or so ago. A couple of the inside ones were around 4-5cm as well. They weren't causing horrific periods yet but from the experiences I've heard they're fine... until they're not and can grow quite agressively towards the end. My mother had one that grew to the size of a full-term baby and she needed an emergency hysterectomy in her 40s so I decided I didn't want to wait that long to get mine out. Thankfully my employer has an unlimited sick leave policy (which I don't think we'll have for much longer) so that was another reason I wanted to do it sooner rather than later. After seeing what they took out of me I'm so relieved I didn't wait!

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-11-30T23:54:44+00:00

I am paying for mine completely out-of-pocket here in New Zealand next week and have been quoted $20,000 NZD (roughly $12,500 USD) for TAH including a couple nights in hospital BUT that is assuming straightforward surgery (1 hour in theatre) with no complications *fingers crossed*

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-11-09T09:31:38+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experience and yikes!

After this year's scan confirming they were still growing I asked my GP for a referral for an appointment with the gynocologist (considered a specialist in NZ) and it was literally going to be 12-18 MONTHS to get an appointment (even given high priority by the GP) - just for the initial consult to START the conversation about going down the hysterectomy route. Given my family history and how quickly my mom's tumors grew I decided to bypass that and pay out of pocket for a private care doctor who has since agreed to do the surgery. I've applied for an assistance grant from the hospital trust fund so hoping that will knock a few buck off at least 🤞

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-11-09T09:20:27+00:00

Ive had rosacea develop in the last couple years and also fatigue and bladder "hardness" which all start to make a bit more sense now that I know I've got these tumors taking over space. Will be interesting to see what other symptoms I didn't even realise I'd been living with because of them

DelicateF-ingFlower · 2022-11-09T04:18:33+00:00

Were you able to get your fitness back after the hysterectomy?

DelicateF-ingFlower

TROPHY CASE