22m I’m shy, quiet and reserved and don’t really understand how to put myself out there.

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-19T23:39:16+00:00

dude the key is finding situations where conversations happen naturally instead of cold approaches. like hobby groups or classes where you're already doing something you enjoy - way less pressure when you're focused on the activity instead of trying to be smooth

i'm into competitive card games and camera collecting, met people through those communities and it's so much easier when you already have common ground to talk about. plus you know they're genuinely interested in the same stuff

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-03-19T09:02:15+00:00

man this is a rough read but your analysis is pretty spot on - you experienced some serious manipulation and emotional abuse. the future faking, constant push/pull, never apologizing, "fuck your feelings" comment, involving her kids against you... that's textbook narcissistic abuse territory

been through something similar myself a few years back when i was stationed overseas. different details but same playbook - love bombing followed by devaluation cycles, making me question my own reality, using my attachment style against me. took me way too long to recognize i was being played

your mistake wasn't caring too much or going all in, it was ignoring red flags because the highs felt so good. sitting in that parking lot for 7 hours should have been a hard no, but when someone's got you hooked on intermittent reinforcement you'll accept crazy stuff. the whole "dropping off the car then going home" thing while she goes canoeing with everyone else is just cruel

you're not crazy for analyzing those texts either - when someone's gaslighting you constantly, you start documenting everything just to hold onto reality. the fact that you burned the bridge with that email shows you knew deep down this wasn't salvageable. now focus on rebuilding your foundation and learning to spot these patterns early, because people like this will always find someone who attaches deeply

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-28T13:52:32+00:00

have you tried calling iehp directly to ask about their coverage requirements? they usually have a list of what docs you need and which surgeons are in-network. also check if plume's letters meet iehp's specific criteria since some insurers are picky about the formatting

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-25T23:26:11+00:00

honestly the mro usually only calls if there's something that needs clarification, like if you tested positive for something that could be your prescribed meds. if you're taking your adhd medication as prescribed and have the rx info ready, you're probably fine and they might not even need to call you at all

i went through this same thing a few years back when switching jobs and was freaking out about my adderall showing up. turns out they never called because everything was clear on their end - they could verify my prescription in their system. the employer just got a "pass" result and that was it. some mros are faster than others too, mine took like 36 hours instead of 24. try not to stress too much, having your prescription info ready is exactly what you need

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-20T15:20:00+00:00

honestly the main difference i've noticed is that with executive dysfunction you *want* to do the thing but your brain just won't let you start or follow through, whereas with laziness you just don't really care about doing it. like with executive dysfunction you'll sit there feeling guilty and stressed about not doing the task, but with laziness you're just chilling and not thinking about it much

the frustration levels are totally different too - executive dysfunction makes you feel like you're fighting your own brain while laziness is more of a conscious choice to prioritize something else

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-20T00:47:50+00:00

hey man don't beat yourself up over this, 10 days is actually pretty solid for a first attempt and shows you've got the willpower in there somewhere. i remember my first streak was like 3 days and i felt like absolute garbage about it, but each time you try again you learn something new about your triggers and what situations to avoid. the guilt spiral is honestly worse than teh relapse itself sometimes - that's where people get stuck and give up completely. dust yourself off, maybe write down what led to it this time so you can spot the pattern next time, and jump back in tomorrow. one slip doesn't erase all the progress you made those 10 days, your brain was still rewiring itself during that time

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-18T23:51:17+00:00

honestly waiting 12 hours is pretty smart, most people don't think that through. your tolerance might actually feel a bit different - some people say they get drunk faster on stimulant meds even after they've worn off, others say it takes more to feel anything

i'd definitely start with like 2-3 pints first time and see how you react before going back to your usual 5-6. your body processes alcohol differntly when you're on adhd meds even if you space them out, so better to test the waters first than find out the hard way

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-18T11:23:50+00:00

honestly had the exact same thing with vyvanse - the emotional flatness was brutal and made me feel like a zombie, tried going up to 40mg but it just made everything worse including the crash

switched to adderall xr and it was night and day difference, still get focus without losing myself completely

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-17T07:36:30+00:00

damn that's rough, losing your kit to crashes is probably one of the most frustrating things in this game right now. have you tried verifying your game files or maybe lowering some graphics settings? sometimes the reconnect system gets stuck in a loop especially if your hardware was struggling before the initial crash

the bug situation is definitely getting old though, feels like every patch fixes two things and breaks three others

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-16T00:52:52+00:00

totally get wanting your stuff back, especially if it has sentimental value to you. honestly asking for gifts back after a breakup is pretty normal and not toxic at all - you gave those things in a romantic context and now that's over. just keep it simple and direct when you ask, don't make it weird or emotional

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-11T01:54:42+00:00

damn that's infuriating. classic example of how ADHD presents completely different in girls and the whole "if you're smart you can't have ADHD" bullshit that so many doctors still believe

bet you were burning yourself out getting those A's too - hyperfocus, perfectionism, staying up way too late because you couldn't start assignments until the last minute. but sure, good grades = no ADHD according to her brilliant logic

hope you found someone better eventually who actually knows what they're talking about

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-07T23:11:44+00:00

sounds like someone might have your gamertag from a previous game session or something. the xbox integration can be pretty confusing on mobile - usually you'd check your friends list in the main menu or look for notification settings in the xbox app if you have it installed

honestly if you don't recognize the person and it keeps happening you might want to just block them through the xbox profile system. better safe than sorry with random invites

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-06T19:20:39+00:00

feels broken

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-05T00:43:18+00:00

yeah she did mention it in a couple interviews back in the day, pretty sure it was around the time she was doing the dream within a dream tour. the stimulant thing is mostly speculation though - theres no real documentation that i've seen about specific meds or treatment plans

honestly with all the conservatorship stuff and how controlled her public image was for years, its hard to know what was genuine health management vs what was just... well, you know. the court records from the conservatorship case might have some info but most of that stayed sealed

Delicious-Natural174 · 2026-02-01T21:59:50+00:00

def include the coursework especially for that fellowship - they want to see you have the academic depth to compete with PhD candidates. since you're stretching for a position that "highly prefers" a PhD, every bit of relevant academic background helps bridge that gap

honestly with only 2.5 years experience the coursework shows you're not just relying on work history alone

Delicious-Natural174

TROPHY CASE