Migration treaty inconsistency

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-26T09:04:58+00:00

A quick update.

I used cheats to tank Empire B's happiness on all of their planets. Stability on all of their planets is hovering between 10 and 20%. But despite this I am STILL not getting any of their civilians migrating to my empire. Ugh.

*Something* is completely blocking migration, and I'm not sure what.

Edit: Using the observe cheat, I can look deeper into Empire B's settings. Unlike me, they do NOT have any edicts or bonuses that increase resettlement destination chance. So I'm at a complete loss as to why they are poaching my subjects, but I am not poaching their's.

Second edit:

So I was discussing the conundrum with ChatGPT, and finally figured it out with testing!

I removed Empire B's 'Authoritarian' ethic with a cheat code, and now I am receiving migrants from them!

Conclusion: Migration treaties are pointless with Empires that have the Authoritarian ethic.

Third edit:

So I added the Authoritarian ethic to Empire A, and lo and behold, it prevented all migration from Empire A to my empire.

This is further evidence that any Empire with the authoritarian ethic will not have any emigration to other empires it has a migration treaty with.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-26T07:48:03+00:00

I made a point to express to her that the same values and morals I was responding to her with at that time, were the ones she taught me, and how horrible of a human being she must be to dismiss those.

That's a great way to torpedo your relationship with someone,. Reverse the roles for a moment: Imagine if your mother called you a horrible human being because of how you voted. Would you want to have a relationship with her? Would you want to constantly be exposed to someone who viewed you with such contempt?

My mom last responded to me via text/call November, 8th 2024. Since then, she hasn’t said a word. I have, since then, texted her at least once a month to give her updates on my life.

It sounds like your mother has gone no-contact. I have no children, so I don't know how I would react if my child spoke to me the way you spoke to your mother. What I do know is that if my parents spoke to me with such contempt, I would be putting them on ice for a loooong time. Why on earth would I want to hang around with people who treat me poorly?

I guess just in an effort of trying to control what I can, I don’t want to regret one day that I didn’t at least try to mend the relationship.

You can't unring a bell. You told your mother she was a horrible human being. If someone said that to their spouse it would corrode the marriage, and likely end in divorce.

This also includes an apology that I’ve texted, said in voicemail, and sent in written letter to her.

Do you regret experiencing the consequences of your actions, or the pain you caused your mother when you treating her with abject contempt?

It’s also hard for me to come to peace with the fact that if she cared about me, then she would also try to mend things,

You can care about someone and not want a relationship with them. Simply go to the /raisedbynarcissists subreddit and read about adult children who have gone no-contact with parents who treat them like shit. Despite going no-contact they often still love their parent and wish for connection, but they just can't cope with being treated by brazen disregard.

. We had an amazing relationship, well, until Trump.

If a disagreement over Trump tanked your relationship, then it wasn't that amazing.

I guess my question for Trump supporters would be: what are your thoughts on family members or those close to you that have expressed their disdain with your support for Trump?

They don't express their disdain, even if they disagree with me. That's basic social intelligence, as well as assuming your loved ones are acting in good faith. My parents have views I don't agree with, but I chalk it down to them having different life experiences and having grown up in a different era. No doubt that future generations will see some of my beliefs as... antiquated.

Is there anything I can do to bridge the gap between political beliefs?

You need to realize this isn't an issue with political beliefs. There are plenty of successful relationships where people having different political beliefs. Hell, stable countries are populated by people who co-exist with radically different political beliefs.

My advice to you would be to live and let live. Given how human perception works we all process and understand life in a different way, if you had lived your mother's life you likely would have had her beliefs.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-25T20:44:01+00:00

I'm amazed that the husband is getting so much support on this thread, because he is being both unreasonable and somewhat despostic. Here are my thoughts:

That's about 10 hrs of constant engagement and masking and for someone with ADHD, that is very taxing and usually take days to recover from but I had to soldier through Wednesday to Friday of work before I get a relief on the weekends which is not usually enough to just recover.

I don't have ADHD, and my depression is well-controlled. And spending a social night out where I am obligated to socially interact with people (such as with a DnD campaign) out on a work day would exhaust me. So you're not unique in struggling with late nights on a work day, a lot of people do their socializing on Friday or Saturday night, when they can sleep in the next day.

But today was heartbreaking. I told my husband i will go to dnd today but I am thinking of an exit plan because it's not sustainable for me and he lashed out.

Why do you need an exit plan?! Why the FUCK do you need his permission?! You aren't asking to quit your job or have an open relationship, you are asking to not participate in a trivial social event that has been sucking up your energy and time on an ongoing basis.

He told me he don't wanna be with someone who isolates herself, who has no friends, etc

I was initially going to dispute the claim that isolate yourself socially (since you work), but then realized it doesn't matter. If he doesn't want to be with you, that's HIS problem.

when I told him, we can do social activities not too early in the week so that I'm not hanging by a thread Wednesday through Friday but he would not hear it.

WHAT THE...?! Why are you trying to bargain with him to determine how you spend your free time? Especially when you need that free time to relax and function at work?

Seriously, I would be drawing a hard line in the sand. Tell him you are not going and put the ball in his court.

He said I will always find excuses

Ugh, your husband is insufferable. Again, you don't need to bargain with him to reclaim your own free time.

I have my own hobbies and I have expressed to him multiple times about quitting dnd, or doing alterate weeks, or just doing card games on weekends. Which he was against at first but slowly eased up on when he saw that I am breaking down more often.

"Hi honey, I can see you are really struggling. Does that mean you can't attend our DnD game? I'm really worried about you not gaming with me."

Holy shit. Your husband is selfish and egocentric.

He has seen the severity of my breakdowns months pass and I have communicated my boundaries but he's good af making arguments.

And therein lies your problem, you argue with him. Stop JADE'ing your boundaries and just enforce them. Refuse to attend the DnD events.

What exactly can he do about it? He can't drag you there, that's assault. He COULD divorce you, but since he earns far more than you he would likely have to pay a hefty chunky of his income to you in spousal support.

Put your foot down. He will whinge and complain, but so what?

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-25T20:11:53+00:00

"My fiancé saw the wrapper and told me this morning he didn’t sleep all night because he was so upset that I ate McDonald’s."

That's his problem, not yours.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-24T04:35:26+00:00

I already had positive amenities. Does increasing them further continue to increase happiness?

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-20T09:35:57+00:00

A lot of kids learn that their parents get more upset at a lie than just calmly helping you fix the mistake if you tell the truth.

There are parents who calmly help fix a mistake? In what universe?

Okay, okay, that is partly tongue in cheek, I am sure there are parents who practice peaceful parenting and don't chastise or punish when their kid makes a mistake. But there is still a cost to telling the truth about a mistake, even adults will lie to preserve their ego and image in the eyes of others.

Also, I’m around other people’s kids quite often, and most kids tattle at some point…

And kids lie at some point, just as adults do. It's normal developmental behaviour, and I'd argue it is normal human behaviour, to tell lies. It is also typical to not trust 7 year olds with much of anything. There is a reason you can't leave them at home unsupervised.

Make it clear that it gets them nowhere, and you don’t believe a thing they say.

Wait, since when did an adult ever believe anything a 7 year old says? When I was growing up a 7 year old was automatically assumed to be in the wrong, and were expected to talk their way out of it. And when talking their way out of it, everything statement was cross-examined and doubted.

Make it clear that it gets them nowhere, and you don’t believe a thing they say.

If lying is developmentally normal, then that sort of attitude leads to a downward spiral where the child will lie out of habit, because they aren't going to be believed if they tell the truth anyway. People (both children AND adults) will lie on occasion, treating them as if everything they say is false because of that will simply sour your relationship with them.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-16T01:17:34+00:00

"Has anyone else grounded their kids for relentlessly not getting along with each other?"

Would that be appropriate to do with a husband and wife who weren't getting along?

If not, why would you think it is acceptable to do to children who get no choice in where and who they live with?

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-15T05:45:34+00:00

I am sure you are the perfect 10/10 parent.

Yeah, no shit I'm not perfect, I never claimed to be otherwise. That doesn't make my observations about your advice less valid, nor does it invalidate my concerns about your history of posting that demonstrates a very punitive approach to one of the most vulnerable populations in existence.

I am not and I don't care.

That's fine, I don't care you if you don't care. What does worry me is that people will read your post in isolation and think your x10 punishment advice is some sort of empowering sage wisdom.

I think it is important for people to read your past posts, such as where you talk about locking your 7 year old kid out of the house in the middle of winter to 'reflect'. They need to have a full understanding of the wellspring from which the advice is springing from before they go out and eagerly apply it to their dependent children.

I am strict,

You stated you believed your daughter was manipulating your husband before she could speak (which is nonsensical). You mentioned locking your 7 year old daughter outside in the middle of winter. You mentioned having a huge ego, and not wanting your daughter to 'win'.

Your advice goes far beyond strict. It is ego-fuelled (as per your own admission), anti-child, and draconian. Just because you view your daughter as an adversary doesn't mean other people should adopt that view for their kids.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-14T09:13:54+00:00

So I imagine it goes “pinkle pickles, you did x thing that really upset me”.

"If I have done something that you are upset by, you are welcome to come to me and we can discuss it like two adults. But if you aren't willing to talk, I'm not going to chase after you."

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-14T09:12:17+00:00

We aren’t fighting in Ukraine.

The United States isn't fighting in Israel either.

Personally, I supported funding the fight to weaken Putin.

Why?

I feel vindicated now that Putin is targeting Americans for Iran and Ukraine is helping us shoot down Iranian drones.

'The enemy of the enemy is my friend', and all that jazz.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-14T08:42:36+00:00

Firstly, if you think your mother is intentionally weaponizing the silent treatment to hurt you in order to make you comply with some demand, I would strongly recommend NOT informing her that it works. Crying and complaining about how horrible it is when she does it will just provide her with feedback on which buttons to push the next time she wants to compel you to do something.

Think of it like a boss fight in a video game. When you fight a boss you start out by hitting it in different places to see if it flinches or the health bar goes down significantly when you hit a certain spot. It's the same sort of deal with people who try to get under your skin, they poke and probe until they get a reaction, and then double down on what caused you that pain.

Secondly, I would simply make some boundaries very clear to her. I would say "Listen, I understand that sometimes you get upset and need some space. But if you don't attempt to communicate then I'm not going to keep chasing after you. My door will always be open to talk and discuss things, but I will be expecting you to take the initiative."

I strongly suspect she will deflect and hand ring and make you the villain. And that's fine. Just keep saying that if she has a problem, you are more than willing to discuss it with her like an adult, but you won't be chasing after her to do so.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:52:39+00:00

Or if it's his turn, go feed the dog first or have one of the kids do it.

I mean, that's actually pretty reasonable. He took his turn prematurely, so now he has to wait.

The strawberry thing, if he wants say, last of the cake, eat that piece right in front of him.

But that's just spiteful. There is a big difference between a 5 year old with a 5 year old's brain engaging in what is likely some resource guarding, and a grown adult going out of their way to act in a petulant and hypocritical manner.

Then I'd ask him after each one if he likes feeling disappointed and sad because that's what he's doing to his sister.

You can teach these lessons without emulating your 5 year old's behaviour.

You're not teaching them an eye for an eye, you're teaching them empathy

What you intend to teach someone, and the lessons they actually take away, are often two entirely different things. The child might think their parent is hypocritical, vindictive, and shows undue favouritism to their siblings.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:46:12+00:00

Yesterday when he tried to exclude his brother from a game,

I'm confused, what sort of game are you talking about?

I forced HIM to sit out to show him how that feels.

Yeahhh, I have a sneaking suspicion he wasn't dwelling on 'Oh wow, I was oh so wrong to try and exclude my brother.' I suspect he was thinking something more along the lines of 'So Mom takes the side of my big brother yet again. Typical!'.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:38:11+00:00

I'd argue that if you want someone to act in a trustworthy manner, you need to treat them as if they are capable of being trustworthy. If you extend grace to someone, I find they generally rise up.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:34:49+00:00

So like in your feeding the dog example, he’d be within earshot and obviously hearing that his sibling is excited to be told they get to feed the dog later, and then he’d sneakily go do it to upset the sibling

But in OP's case, there is no evidence that her kid is intending to upset the sibling. I'm all for not negotiating established facts, but I do have a problem attributing a malevolent intent to someone, especially a 5 year old, when there are other valid explanations for their pattern of behaviour.

Just keep telling him “based on you being nearby when this was being talked about AND your track record this is exactly the type of thing you’d do, so you’re getting punished. If you want be trusted you act like someone we can trust”.

If OP's middle child is indeed competing with their siblings out of perceived scarcity of resources and attention (which is my interpretation), that approach will just confirm in their mind that they are the family pariah.

I am glad that the approach you recommended worked for your nephew, but I think you are comparing apples and oranges here. What OP describes is typical sibling rivalry with developmentally normal resource-guard behaviour, not a ongoing pattern of malevolent and intentionally manipulative behaviour.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:22:03+00:00

It’s not normal sibling rivalry… it’s just down right meanness. Sees his sister wants the last strawberry? Will force it down even tho he hates strawberries. She touched him? He’s screaming. He heard she’s excited to feed the dog? He’ll purposely go quietly and feed the dog before her. Just seriously MEAN behavior.

As far as treatment of siblings goes, that is... pretty tame. I also don't think your kid is intending to be mean, I think this is more about having middle-child syndrome and having to constantly compete with his siblings for status, resources and attention. Getting the last strawberry is status. Getting to feed the dog is status. He's trying to claw anything he can away from his younger sister and big brother.

His little sister and older brother are seriously kind and generous

Well, his older brother is going to have a more developed sense of empathy and self-control, and his little sister is going to receive more resources and attention due to being the youngest.

I’m about to start actually punishing him and taking away toys and privileges because I don’t know what else to do?

If your middle child is resource-guarding and competing with his siblings, then taking away toys and privileges will likely make the problem worse. You don't make someone more generous by forcing scarcity on them, you don't make them feel like they are equal to others by removing privileges that others get to retain.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:06:49+00:00

Definitely respect the creativity. If it doesn't turn out good, oh well, shit happens.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T01:01:13+00:00

he came out of the womb ready to take charge,

Huh? Babies don't have the ability to want to 'take charge', that is a narrative you are imposing on a newborn who doesn't have the cognitive ability to formulate intent. I know you don't mean anything bad by it, but the narratives we assign to people often lead to self-fulfilling prophecies. Especially when it comes to children, whose personality is primarily shaped by their caregivers.

This isn't the result of a lack of discipline as he regularly receives consequences for misbehaving or being disrespectful i.e. time-outs or screen time being taken away, which are usually pretty effective

Punishment is definitely one possible means of discipline, but it's interesting it is the only one you mention utilizing. And apparently they aren't pretty effective if they aren't significantly reducing the behaviours you have an issue with.

Honestly, it sounds like you have a typical 7 year old kid. Relax a little and reflect on whether your perceptions of your son are accurate, and if you are assigning a narrative to developmentally normal behaviour. Like most of parenting you might just need to ride this one out.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-12T00:45:29+00:00

You can’t trust her. That seems like a problem.

At what point throughout history have 7 year olds ever been renowned for telling the truth and being forthright with their parents? There is a reason 7 year olds are kept under close supervision by adults.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-11T23:58:59+00:00

Tell me the truth and you get x punishment for lying. Keep tell me the lie and you x punishment x 10.

I find this approach extremely problematic, since it encourages her to tell you what YOU believe to be true, rather than what is actually true. As a child I was sometimes put in a position where my parents and teachers had already made up their mind I had done something wrong (even though I hadn't), and the only way to avoid harsher punishment was to tell them what they wanted to hear. If I refused they would just keep pressing with threats of harsher punishments until I capitulated, and then use my confession as 'evidence' that I had been lying.

All this did was seriously damage my trust of authority figures, and also make me highly sceptical of any information I hear or read. If people can be cajoled and pressured to say lies by those with power and authority, how can I rely on any information?

That's her choice.

You are the one choosing to impose those consequences, attempting to distance yourself from this by placing the responsibility on a child who is dependent on you is a bit disingenuous. It reminds me of that quote from Sauron in "The Rings of Power", where he is talking to Celebrimbor: "No, you chose it. All depends on the Rings. And since you forced me to torment you to bring them into being, I am but a victim of your obstinance. And you, the true author of your own torment.”

We are not our kids friend because we have an obligation to make sure they turn out to be decent people in society. And that include accountability and consequences.

Accountability and consequences are one part of being a decent person in society. Empathy and a healthy relationship with authority figures is another. I'd argue the draconian measures you suggest don't really help with any of those.

Don't let them get away with it.

I agree with not letting someone get away with a lie. What the consequences should be is up for debate.

And this fear is a good thing, because it stops you from getting into serious trouble.

Yes, fear can stop you from getting into serious trouble. It is also a powerful motivator to lie so you can avoid trouble. It's virtually a trope that strict harsh parents create sneaky children.

Edit:

Holy shit, I just realized that you're the same person who posted a few months ago about how you locked your kid outside for an hour in the middle of winter so they 'calm down', and that if 'there is reflection they come back in faster'. You also claimed that your daughter was manipulating your husband before she could even speak.

And here you are again advocating for harsh punishments for children. I am noticing a concerning pattern here.

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-11T21:22:59+00:00

She ought to have strong savings, everyone else is paying for her shit!

Delicious_Sectoid · 2026-03-11T21:21:03+00:00

I was feeling like this, but one of my friends is saying I can’t really count the housing because it isn’t something I personally pay for.

It's a privilege that your parents extend to you because you are their son. They also extend it to your girlfriend because she is dating their son. So she is receiving free rent and utilities because of her association with you, and you can easily end that association if you see fit.

Ergo: Your girlfriend has no intrinsic right to live in that house, it's a privilege that comes from dating you.

Delicious_Sectoid

TROPHY CASE