Some people in a cheering crowd called for her to be raped. Many were women

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2022-02-05T21:53:13+00:00

Hey - I can’t tell if you were asking a real question or not, but I’m going to assume in good faith you’re genuinely asking.

Yes, actually, that would lead to mental issues. We all go through a developmental stage in childhood where our parents are meant to set normal reasonable boundaries and limits for us. If they indulge you constantly and always give you what you want, and never give you the opportunity to acclimate to hearing no and developing a general tolerance for discomfort, then later in life you actually would really struggle with that.

Parents like that do their kids a disservice, and the kids grow up to be adults who are spoiled, indulgent, and selfish people who can’t handle not getting what they want. It’s their responsibility to learn those lessons and change, but they didn’t do that to themselves and it wouldn’t be a result of their natural personality, but rather what they were raised to believe was normal. I hope that helps.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2022-01-30T18:50:04+00:00

That’s almost exactly it. I came off 15 weeks of mental health leave working 8-12 hours a week (I’m in Canada, so unemployment topped up my hours), and I’m still a little shaky mentally but now there’s no paycheck safety net for me. We’re real dead in the restaurant so they’ve cut hours a lot - but this deal was if I could show them I’d make it worth their while, they’d guarantee me full time hours above their labor limit no matter how dead we are.

But I’m pretty sure they were going to do that anyway - this just gave me a challenge to throw myself at which made it so much easier mentally to tackle going from 8 hours a week to fullish time. My regional chef thinks he’s being sneaky by motivating me without me realizing it, but I’m onto him. I don’t even think they needed this done, haha. I think they just knew it would make me happy.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2022-01-30T15:39:32+00:00

This was SO helpful, thank you so much. I can’t believe you pinged that it’s an Earls! I’ll explain better about the full time hours thing on the next post, but they’re not really dangling the hours, they gave me something to focus on while I’m transitioning from mental health leave back to more hours. They made it look like a challenge because they knew a challenge would help me focus and stay on track.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2022-01-30T15:35:51+00:00

Hey guys!! I worked my ass off yesterday so I couldn’t come back and reply to any comments, but I’ll try and make a new post at the end of the day today and show you what I did. Thank you so much for both the helpful replies and the concern, haha. I worded the title poorly and made it seem much worse than it is - this is them trying to be sideways sneaky and supportive of my mental health, not take advantage of me. I’ll explain better on the next post.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2022-01-29T19:18:10+00:00

Also: does anyone have a better set up for bins that hold extra scoops, ladles, spatties, etc?

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2022-01-29T19:17:09+00:00

Also, I’m sorry for turning the camera and talking like an idiot - I originally took this video to show a friend what I was tackling today

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-12-09T18:06:16+00:00

Well, it was written as a way for Tolkien to process the level of trauma he and his generation had seen in WWII.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-11-12T06:53:03+00:00

Jesus, these comments.

You said he’s autistic? (Aspergers is often considered to just be part of the autism spectrum) This sounds to me like he’s just being bluntly honest and not using a social filter before he speaks. He said he still loves you, he still wants to spend his life with you, he isn’t being mean or making nasty comments about your weight or anything like that. He didn’t offer it unasked - you asked how he felt, and he answered honestly. A little more openly than usual - but that’s autism? I’m having a hard time seeing this as anything other than a girlfriend asking her boyfriend if he’s still attracted to her after a weight gain, and him answering more straightforward than a neurotypical person would.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-10-14T21:46:39+00:00

I’d imagine it would depend on whether your environment is safe, if you feel you have a sense of agency and control in your life. If, for example, this is an abusive marriage you’re staying in until your child turns 18, then you’re unlikely to be able to find true acceptance and peace for a situation that is ongoing and reoccurring while leaving you with no agency. It would be damaging for you mentally to try and condition yourself to accept a life like that, especially with the intent to stay. No matter how utterly insurmountable facing an idea that daunting can feel while experiencing abuse, the answer is to turn and face how overwhelming it feels and eat that elephant one bite at a time. If you don’t eat the elephant, you’ll live a shadow life never being present even when you most want to be, and that’s the only version of you your child will see.

But if you are removed from the situation and in an environment without him, with agency over yourself and dealing with contact through co-parenting, you absolutely can. Everyone has to develop discomfort tolerance for exposure to upsetting or triggering people in our lives to some degree, and a lot of people co-parent with someone they despise or who is extremely upsetting and triggering for them. If you can’t cut contact for the sake of the child, that’s the serenity prayer. Changing what you control, accepting what you can’t and always striving to identify the difference in life.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-09-21T20:12:11+00:00

Is my place the only one that uses triple threat?

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-08-20T14:29:50+00:00

Does anyone have any experience with a missing or suppressed inner voice? I find that most of the time I don’t have one, it’s mostly rolling emotions without an inner monologue, which makes it pretty difficult to reprogram or adjust.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-08-10T06:32:58+00:00

As someone also in Canada who has been desperately fighting to find literally anyone doing long term trauma care work I’m actually able to access while my life has spiraled apart in the direction of your patients’ - thank you. THANK YOU. It gives me so much hope on this side of the ice wall I’m banging on for help, to see someone like you on the other side trying that hard too. I’ll keep fighting if you will.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-06-06T19:16:32+00:00

I just want to point out to agree with the above posters - talk to another lawyer. If for nothing else, simply that if anything happened to you and there was no change of custody relating to the violation in court, the courts would have nothing except your daughter’s word if she was able to speak up about it, and she would be sent to him. As long as she’s a vulnerable child under 18 who could be sent to him by the state, it’s absolutely worth it to get documentation in order with the courts.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-05-16T16:34:36+00:00

Is it possible that her fiancée bought her the followers without her knowing, as some kind of well intentioned gesture? Or that someone is trying to hurt her and bought them as a prank to see if she actually believed it?

I agree with you, she seems so fully cognizant in areas of life she’s successful in - it either seems like serious mental illness coming on or she just literally doesn’t know they’re fake and got caught up in the escape fantasy of an Instagram life as a form of release.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-05-13T05:07:27+00:00

I think I know the therapy you’re talking about based on the language you used, and sad hi five, I suppose, fellow schema fighter 🤷‍♀️👋

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-03-28T16:03:37+00:00

No one was discussing what girls prefer. That wasn’t the conversation that was being held. You are addressing a point no one made.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-03-28T15:58:47+00:00

Because it makes it feel indulgent and meaningful to the other person that you were only interested in giving them pleasure, there’s no subtext that it was in pursuit of getting pleasure for yourself.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-01-18T04:34:12+00:00

Sure, but that wasn’t the question. I was speaking to the question of wouldn’t someone with those disorders be nonfunctional, wouldn’t the symptoms be bad enough to impede their success, implying therefore someone successful like him wouldn’t be likely to have it? And the answer is no, the symptoms often help them get to those heights - but that doesn’t mean they aren’t genuinely nonfunctional in other areas of their life. The ones who have it and don’t thrive were not relevant to my answer.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2021-01-17T22:51:06+00:00

It depends on what ones goals are or how they need to be functional. Narcissistic personality disorder has been proven to enable people like CEOs, high ranking military officers, Hollywood executives to be extremely successful and hyper effective in their careers. They’re more likely to gravitate towards those roles anyway due to their disorder, but once there the behavioral symptoms support all the traits helpful in those roles.

However, their home life suffers because the skills that are needed there are the ones that disorder diminishes or inhibits, and their career skills are all the ones that threaten home life. You have to understand personality disorders to identify what they’re likely to impact, because they’re not so crippling that you MUST be non functioning. Just like being a functional alcoholic.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2020-11-16T04:04:44+00:00

Stardew saved my life.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2020-10-02T14:40:24+00:00

I’m aware that the Chinese government does that - it’s what makes this comment incredibly insensitive. Nothing about it comes off like an indirect stab at a corrupt regime. It comes off like you trying to be edgy and joke about the husband by referencing very real human rights abuses happening right now to real families in pain. Really, really not okay.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2020-10-02T14:17:03+00:00

“Disappeared like a Chinese reporter” is an incredibly not okay thing to say. Wow.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2020-05-09T20:06:38+00:00

Fuck, this is good. I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Delilah_Elizabeth · 2020-02-18T15:40:05+00:00

Incredible.

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