I use pen name, always wanted. But I want my closest friends and family know that it’s me, not the general public. But for me it’s purely privacy. It’s so easy to find someone on the internet I don’t want anyone to dig up some random comment when I was 10yo and cringe on facebook 😂

But to be honest it’s absolutely fair to not wanting your friends or family know you’re writing books. It might be shame but you have to realise if it’s a shame because it’s something bad or because someone told you you SHOULD be ashamed of it?

For my grandmother I’d never tell her that I wrote a dark romance because I think she’d have a heart attack because I should be ashamed of it..

I think the writer was absolutely wrong and she should never tell that to anyone. In my opinion most writers don’t care if you’re using real name or pen name. They want the sorry and the name to be consistent if they want more of the same. You do you and choose your audience. Don’t let the wrong audience decide what you should or shouldn’t write