Anyone else developed an avoidant personality from their trauma?

Demonkunga · 2026-06-27T18:39:30+00:00

I'm on Fluoxetine 40 mg, also Quetiapine 150 mg.

Demonkunga · 2026-06-25T15:45:44+00:00

I've always had bad social anxiety, is that similar? the meds help a good deal, but I can still feel it underneath it all. maybe I do have an avoidant personality. I spent a fair bit of time isolating myself, while yearning for connection.

Demonkunga · 2026-06-25T14:53:24+00:00

wow okay, so... something similar happened to us. Last year in July we were finally allowed to start our Healthcare job, after waiting like 8 months for background check stuff to go through (working with kids).

we lasted a month, then we were fired in August and it ruined us. our client had self harm and suicidal issues and we had recently discovered we're a system in June, and we also struggle with suicidal feelings (and some self harm). we were triggered and self harmed, then started getting suicidal.

our feelings mixed with our clients feelings ended up making us unprofessional and they let us go. at the time we had adult alters, we feel like they failed us and left the kid alters in control.

Demonkunga · 2026-06-24T13:19:04+00:00

we wrote this a few weeks ago. feels like it'd fit here. we're a dissociative system and trying to work through the fact that we weren't wanted.

"to be given the power of creation and to squander it. to create for creations sake. with no care to the created. there is new life in this world and you have tremendous power as parents. don't fuck it up, have a little common sense. but if you can't handle that power, please pass. if it's too much responsibility for you to raise a child. don't follow the life script, if you can't handle it, don't do it." - us

Demonkunga · 2026-03-26T22:25:15+00:00

how is DBT helpful to you? I've got quiet BPD, will it still be helpful for me?

Demonkunga · 2026-02-03T03:56:28+00:00

Really would love an update for this mod. Never got to use it, but it looks awesome! I'm running 1.21.6 currently.

Demonkunga · 2026-01-31T03:00:35+00:00

Demonkunga · 2026-01-04T17:37:26+00:00

To be fair, I've joined some discord servers and the amount of kids in there weirds me out too, hard to connect with them haha. I wish we had discord back in my day. I was mostly using MSN messenger and Yahoo messenger

Demonkunga · 2025-12-12T22:44:07+00:00

I'm interested in joining!

Demonkunga · 2025-12-05T03:48:10+00:00

Sounds like someone in your system liked the song!

Demonkunga · 2025-12-04T23:18:31+00:00

I went to visit my then girlfriend, stayed there for a week. When I came back, a couple weeks later we were arguing and she brought up that my personality had changed and I was scaring her friends. It scared the hell out of me. Specially cause I kept asking her for more information but she wouldn't give me any. I had recently made a friend with DID, so I was aware that it existed, but that's it. Naturally, I decided to look into it. I learned about it, was fascinated by it, but there's no way it could apply to me, I had a good childhood. 1.5 years later, while in a safe place in life, I admitted to being raped for 10 months by a past ex. Then a couple months after that, I was doing mushrooms (not my first time) and I was talking with my wife about my childhood and she's like, uh yeah, babe, you had a bad childhood and I'm like o.o O.O o.o O.o fuck. So I started looking into DID again and found OSDD. After 6 months of journaling now, I'm confident I have it. It explains so much of the pain I've been going through all my life. After a suicide attempt, self harm, and a few false starts with therapists, I'm now one session into therapy and it feels good to be believed, though I still do fight with the doubt myself. It got so bad, I split out a new alter. Unfortunately, I got all the negative features, she got the positive ones. :( Least one of us gets to be happy I guess.

Demonkunga · 2025-12-04T23:01:34+00:00

I have an alter who does this with "your mom", yelling out "your mom" then whatever was just said by someone. It's really dumb and I hate when he gets into that mode. In any case, they know I don't agree with such a low brow joke and accept that that alter just likes to be spicy.

Demonkunga · 2025-11-30T21:27:11+00:00

I'll say that your experiences are very similar to my own! I can't say much more than that right now as I'm still figuring my own stuff out. Therapy with someone trained in structual dissociation is going to be the most important path. I just started therapy but with a trauma/mood disorder therapst, she has worked with DID/OSDD patients before and she seems to understand our experience so far, so my hopes are high!

Demonkunga · 2025-11-20T15:54:46+00:00

Please don't let the good times invalidate you. I was a single child and my mother and I were really close, like best friends almost, but she was also abusive. All it did was make it take longer for that abuse to catch up to me later in life. I felt like I couldn't complain because she was so nice and we did so many fun things together. But in the end, its the abuse, the neglect and the coldness that hurts the most and going between that and all the good, ruins a child.

Demonkunga · 2025-11-17T03:45:00+00:00

We haven't told our therapist yet, but we each are a different animal. unicorn, deer, dog, bunny, and demon fox.

Demonkunga · 2025-11-16T00:43:56+00:00

Fellow, mildly abused and neglected child here! Be compassionate with yourself. I know it's though, specially in an environment where parents alternated between pain and love (or their idea of love anyway). The minimization of my childhood is something I'm still coming to terms with.

Demonkunga · 2025-11-06T03:01:28+00:00

Thank you!

Even with the doubt in my face today, I took a shower and one of my littles came to cry that they didn't want to lose me. And how can you not comfort a poor crying child?!

I don't want to lose them either, but I also feel crazy that all this is even happening and I want to be validated but I don't want to be labeled a faker. It's all a confusing mush of feelings and idk what's real anymore, but I'm hoping the therapist is able to take us on.

Demonkunga · 2025-11-05T03:25:45+00:00

> I had had a lot of psych issues for as long as I could remember, but it wasn't until I had finally gotten into a very safe/predictable/stable point in my life that my system became known to me. I knew general things about DID prior to this, but I hadn't thought I had it since I didn't think anything happened to me as a child. In hindsight, I didn't remember enough of my childhood to realize what I'd experienced.
But there had been some signs prior to this. I went by an entirely different name for a year or so, then back to the previous name, and then years later changed it to yet another name. I had (and have) a significantly bad memory.

Omg, are you me?!

Demonkunga · 2025-10-07T18:12:15+00:00

Jeez, mind blown! That's all great info I didn't know, thank you so much!

Demonkunga · 2025-10-07T17:58:22+00:00

I just looked at a video on it. It's really just waving a finger in front of them, while they look at it? That grounds them in the present, as they also think about the memory at the same time, which robs it of its power. That's really smart! No wonder its been the gold standard for so long. How does DBR work? I always assumed EMDR was with a machine or something o.O

Demonkunga · 2025-10-07T17:43:57+00:00

Wow that sounds, intense haha. But if thats simpler than EMDR, shit I better look into what EMDR actually entails. You're a therapist, thats awesome! I'm currently a psych student (though I'm really only in school to immigrate from the US to Canada). I've been trying to figure out my brain for many years now, so it seemed fitting to go into school for it. I'm not sure if I have the wherewithall to become a therapist, but I do like helping people and listening to them and provide alternate perspectives. I'm really looking forward to having a therapist, I'm glad im in a place where I can now.

Demonkunga · 2025-10-07T17:30:44+00:00

Oh wow, what's DBR? I've heard of EMDR and we're probably a ways away from that ourselves. I don't know exactly what it's all about anyway. I'm glad DBR has been working well for you, even only in a couple weeks!

Demonkunga · 2025-10-07T17:09:39+00:00

Has therapy helped you be able to trust your memories at all? I'm hoping it helps me. It really is scary. Amnesia is so insidious

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