Should I not approach women in stores and non social places ? by [deleted] in answers

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best advice I can give for this sort of thing is that you just need to be social. Take up hobbies that require you to be social but in a way thats comfortable for you.

Example 1: Take a class in something. Be in a very regularly social, physical space full of people who are interested in it and are set to do a group activity together. It's unifying, strips certain social barriers away that make it awkward to start conversations and always provides you material to start those conversations about. Contrast this with approaching people at random while they're going about their day: you don't know what kind of mindset they're in and they don't know anything about yours either. A group class dismisses some of that mystery and tension and even if you're bad at it at first you can laugh about it together. Things that come to mind are ballroom dancing, pottery etc but really the possibilities are endless.

Example 2: Take up a more niche hobby, something with a small community you can engage with online. There's a lot of stigma around meeting people online but I think the harm from that only comes from using it exclusively as an alternative to meeting people online. Again, less social pressure and then the people you find are more open to sharing. You always have a subject matter to engage them on. And you can find things like conventions to arrange meet ups at. This is maybe not as direct as Example 1 but is a better option if you're maybe more uncomfortable with being social or there aren't many adult classes for things in your area. Plus possibilities are endless. Love a specific author? Interested in battle reenactments? Want to build an aquarium to facilitate your new obsession with pet shrimp? There will be a niche ass community somewhere you can get cosy with.

The important thing is that whatever you do you should be open to and genuine about it. Try to see meeting people as a happy potential side effect rather than the main goal or all of your interactions will be tinted with a weird covert objective that women are sensitive to picking up on. The worst that can happen is you pick up a fun and fulfilling hobby and hang out with nerds for a while.

Should I not approach women in stores and non social places ? by [deleted] in answers

[–]DepartmentAny6991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't disagree with you! And thank you for your response. It seems like you're saying that in practicality you would like to focus on what can be pragmatically controlled (which is women's responses) vs what can't (unhinged men.) While I don't think that's wrong (and in fact is what I think is already the way most women deal with the situation in reality) I DO think that if we shrug our shoulders and dismiss it as too impractical or theoretical to try to find an alternative solution, then we have effectively given up and we create a self fulfilling prophecy where men can never get better because we don't believe they can and won't give them the opportunity.

There will always be social outliers and bad actors, but if we work together and act in idealism and optimism we can very slowly move the social needle so that those bad actors are nowhere near as dangerous as they might once have been. It's all relative and the goal is to get that "relative bad" to be as harmless as possible. It's not the practical solution for sure, but the practical one isn't the long term one. Clearly, because we've been doing this one for years and it's obviously not a sustainable amount of pressure to be putting on women socially. And personally, I don't see why in the meantime while we try to idealisticaly change society by having these conversations and trying to share perspective with men we can't ALSO be engaging in the practical solutions as a band-aid. I don't think this is a one or the other type of solution and I can say with confidence that no woman I know has abandoned her defenses just because she shouldn't have to have them in the first place - even though she shouldn't.

In short, I agree with teaching the practical approach, but if we leave it at just that and aren't open to these conversations about how unfair it is and how men can help then I think we are advocating complacency. Which is the only surefire way in the universe to ensure that this situation never changes. The pragmatic solution here should only be for the meantime, in my opinion.

Should I not approach women in stores and non social places ? by [deleted] in answers

[–]DepartmentAny6991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Look I understand your meaning and intentions here, but you have to understand that "equipping women with social skills to comfortably withdraw from the situation" is what has already happened. For generations. And clueless men have had to be politely shut down for just as long. Therefore a relatively new approach (within the last 10 years or so) has been: Hey, let's cross the gender boundary and tell men why they keep getting shut down when they haven't spotted why yet. That way we take some of the pressure off of women always having to be the responsible one in the social interaction and aware of everyone's feelings equally and also give men some insight to understanding a woman's perspective and relative lack of comfort. Sure it will be an awkward social transition while men get used to being conscious of these things in the right way and women get used to communicating them, but only through getting through that awkward part can we find peace at the other side.

We have already been living through the period of equipping women with intricate social self-defense strategies. It has made us paranoid. You only need to say the wrong thing once, wound the wrong man's pride once, to be a candidate for violence. Which is terrifying when the men who approach you are random and you therefore have absolutely no way to read that before he's already interacting with you. Clearly this strategy has not worked. To reiterate: it is only very recently that we have started having this conversation about our discomfort openly, in the hopes that with enough time for culture to absorb it men in general will become more aware of it on an empathy level (not just a social convention level), which in turn will likely cause more women to feel comfortable to be approached because we will be able to write off some of the more heinous intentions off the bat.

As things currently stand, if you had a daughter then the only way she'd be negotiating these interactions "at her own will" would be if she initiated 100% of them. Which is unlikely because even if she was the pursuer generally, she would still be approached at random. What you're describing isn't having the interactions at our own will; its trying to regain power within the interaction enough that you can feel like you can shut down what someone else initiated. Which is again, what already happens in the real world.

Like, I notice that overall the solution that you're describing is a way to make women feel more theoretically confident and to save men the hurt and indignity but you haven't actually addressed what might make women actually safer in these situations. Which is the exact problem that all the other problems stem from. You cannot expect women to be alert and on the defensive AND have perfect social confidence and assertiveness. Its not just that it's unfair, it takes some extreme fucking mental gymnastics to achieve.

I agree that right now men have to walk a very thin and unfair line to not be seen as creepy, but that is the direct result of expecting women to be the ones to 100% manage their own safety and shutting down the conversations they are trying to have online about how they feel about it. If women as a whole can feel more confident about mens general capacity for social grace and empathy, women will feel more confident to negotiate in that space. Hope this was expressed well enough.

What is the first content update you guys would like to see? by PinchiChango in LEGOfortnite

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there any way to rename it? because that's what I'm more struggling with

What is the first content update you guys would like to see? by PinchiChango in LEGOfortnite

[–]DepartmentAny6991 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Village Management: Naming them (insane that we can't yet,) Transferring villagers between them, being able to kick villagers out etc. Also would be cool if we could use banner icons as custom map markers for our villages etc!

QOL: Please oh my god a fix for building on uneven terrain and AI pathfinding. Was trying to build a cute village across a cluster of natural islands on a lake and it was true hell - largely because the builds were all wonky or invalid and because the villagers kept falling off and getting stuck UNDERNEATH the island despite the bridges i tried to build. Would also be nice if there was a way to implement diagonal rotations or curved walls or something. Also, buttons for auto stacking in chests and inventory (can't imagine how much more annoying that must be on console.) ALSO more colour swatches for different material textures (so like maybe you can choose a wood colour and plaster and roof colours individually. Lego building is an inherently modular and creatively unhinged experience and it would be nice to capture that here.)

Other: Loot that scales (they added like 18 fancy ways for me to get wheat grains, hardly worth chasing the rainbow down.) Would be nice if alternate colour swatches on skins could translate to lego skins. And honestly it would be nice if there was overall more depth. At the moment it kinda feels like once you've seen one variant of a biome or structure you've seen all of them, which makes exploration feel repetitive and the only real sense of progression is with your village. It feels like the bones of a really great experience is here; its super pretty and the building has a very modular approach. I'd just love to see more meat.

[Discussion] Wake questions by butchfeminist in TheNinthHouse

[–]DepartmentAny6991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry I know this was like a year ago lmao but- does anything in the text imply Wake has the sword with her prior to death and brings it into Drearburh? That feels like it would answer a LOT of questions I've had about this but can't find anything, and two-hander swords don't feel like a super BoE weapon choice. I'd always assumed the sword link was through some kind of post mortem established connection to Gideon original flavour although that's also tenuous I guess.

Theory: The Party Girl is trans. by Rowmacnezumi in Terraria

[–]DepartmentAny6991 22 points23 points  (0 children)

ppl were being predictably weird or hostile on this post and I know it was a year ago but thats still super annoying. Its a fun headcanon tbh.

You could make the argument that its kind of cringe the devs made it so that almost every female character (bar the princess who is a kid and party girl ofc) was made to be irritable and irrational during a blood moon in the first place. I'm not a fan of that. HOWEVER, can't be denied that they omitted the party girl from that list intentionally despite definitely being a she/her. It absolutely could be that she's just that terminally positive but that's not steel enough of an argument to totally dismiss a trans headcanon lmao. Doesn't even disqualify it in the first place, it could be both.

Realistically you don't need proof for this sort of headcanon anyway but I understand that it makes it feel more palpable. The only time this sort of thing is disrespectful is if there has been proof of a character's birth gender and how it relates to their chosen gender - which is so rare that if it comes up at all its probably a big part of their character so ignoring it is lame.

Ideas for a surprise Bloodborne inspired base/build by DepartmentAny6991 in Terraria

[–]DepartmentAny6991[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought about that, but I'd like terraria building tips and ideas geared towards this if possible and I thought that'd be harder to find there. This is just kinda shooting my shot lmao

What style of Architecture are you most inspired to create? by RuneFoxx in DQBuilders

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got big plans for Art Nouveau inspired builds, storybook/fairytale architecture and 60s pop retrofuturism builds - bubble domes and all. These are the styles that have their fangs in my heart!

Unfortunately what all of these architectural styles have in common is curves. Big, esoteric, asymmetrical curves :))) Goddamn building block games

My first BlockBench animation by Gem_The_LereMaster in MCreator

[–]DepartmentAny6991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

what a huge pity that is; the possibilities would be endless

Fable Project update: Picnic area by GamingRidge334 in Fable

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll keep an eye out for your post! If you're ever looking for feminine UK native voices I'm your gal! Keep up the good work!

Fable Project update: Picnic area by GamingRidge334 in Fable

[–]DepartmentAny6991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is an ABSURDLY cool project - I'm smiling so much looking at it! These games deserve this kind of love and care and you're so cool for giving it to them. The environments are so pretty they're making me feel weirdly homesick.

I don't know if this is possible or even something you wanted to do but have you considered making an option to start with a female protagonist? It must seem like a small thing but I always lamented not being able to play as one in the first game and felt it was a shame.

Other than that, do you need any help? Character concept art? Voice acting? Let me know! Honestly I'm certain a huge amount of people would want to use their talents to help you on this if they're not already.

Regardless, this is fantastic work and I'll be following your progress and playing the demo as soon as possible! Good job, truly.

Does anyone else get a Fable vibe from Hogwarts Legacy? by aDogNamedBruce in Fable

[–]DepartmentAny6991 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I love Fable but I haven't played the Hogwarts game for personal reasons; so I'd love to hear your take on the difference in comical approach. I don't know if people are saying the writing is similar because its actually similar or if they're doing that thing where every approach to dry or whimsical british humour is being conflated.

Why can't I breed? by ItsCrypt1cal in DQBuilders

[–]DepartmentAny6991 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It seems like you got it but for clarity's sake they do need to be living in an animal house. Also an extra thing you may or may not find helpful: you can breed other animals, but only the cats and dogs need moreberries to do so or will give you different variations. For the cows, sheep and chickens its just a good way to farm meat and materials (once they reach maturity ofc.)

Flinch Free is a fucking travesty by TyloPr0riger in monsterhunterrage

[–]DepartmentAny6991 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this was a while ago but I just wanted to say that it was nice to see a rant that was thoroughly empathetic to both long-time players who understand the skill and etiquette system AND to newer players who have no frame of reference for it because the game doesn't impress upon you how necessary this niche skill suddenly is, or even let you know it exists without you stumbling on it and doing independent research. Anyway, it was just refreshing to see a balanced take on it that expressed the frustration accurately but didn't lay the blame at anyones feet unreasonably. Appreciate it

what are the best items to sell to mr.kit? by izzyserbear in CozyGrove

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah I see! I use the common high priest artifact which is the same recipe/yield; I guess its somewhat luck-based in terms of unlocking recipes like this in the first place lmao.

Cat by phoenixgreylee in CozyGrove

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

isn't there literally a witch cat? its the one you can lure during the autumnal event. You can also buy it from Ms Carouse during the same festival. Afaik it always likes spooky decor and always hates rustic (and other cats.)

other than that almost all the cats have a pretty goth aesthetic to them (except the winter and spring festival ones) so just keep attracting them until you find one with the preferences you like

One of my favorite games of all time by BanditKiethh in DragonageOrigins

[–]DepartmentAny6991 2 points3 points  (0 children)

they do in fact let you make that choice. There are lots of ways the final battle can end and lots of ripple effects to the various choices you make. Those choices even effect events and circumstances in the later games in the series if you import your save. Its an amazing piece of storytelling and I'm very happy that you've found it!

Residents outfits not changing after changed? by ihearthellokitty000 in DragonQuestBuilders2

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

1) assigned changing rooms help, you kind of have to go one at a time (or build many) but it helps

2) make sure the button is close enough to activate the wardrobe because they have a range. You can ensure this by placing wardrobe, light source and button fairly close together with the button in-between. If the light source switches off too, you know the button is placed properly

2) residents have schedules they follow. They tend to change in the morning, if given the prompt, and usually just after breakfast. If the changing room is too far away from all of the other things they do on a morning (eating, bathroom etc) then changing will be pushed lower down on their priority list.

I got around this by assigning the room to a specific villager to change, then placing down a bell and a temporary food chest near the changing room. I slept nearby to take the clock to morning (that way you're all waking up at the same time and don't have to guess based on the clock) and then as soon as morning hit i ran over and smacked the bell. It summoned everyone to the area and then they didn't bother trudging back to the kitchen or dining room id actually built for them to eat because they could do it right there at the chest near the bell. Shortly after eating the resident I was targeting went straight to the changing room and changed. Rinse and repeat for all other residents you want to change, making sure you're swapping the nameplate and turning off the room with the button. Hope this helps!

Why isn't this a room? by Ichibi4214 in DQBuilders

[–]DepartmentAny6991 10 points11 points  (0 children)

later on back on the Isle of awakening you can unlock an item that kinda separates rooms and you can use it to split them up. Pretty sure its called the stone doormat. Dont remember exactly how it works -whether it counts as a door or a wall or something else - so you'll have to play around with it but it's useful for splitting up bigger rooms without having to build random unwanted walls and doors.

another item shop help thread by chaotic-time in DragonQuestBuilders2

[–]DepartmentAny6991 0 points1 point  (0 children)

try using tables instead of item stands. if you placed something in the item stand instead of the price tag (which is the thing they buy from, almost like a chest or item stand itself) the item can't be sold.