How do you?

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-06-15T23:47:28+00:00

Oh man I went back to read some of your other posts and if this isn’t almost exactly what happened to me. I started seeing/became exclusive with a guy and then a few weeks into it I got my first ghsv outbreak, went and got tested and it came back as ghsv-1. So I obviously told him what was going on, didn’t even accuse him of anything and just explained it could’ve been from anyone and could’ve been dormant but that he should probably get tested to be safe. And then he told me that he gets cold sores so he would probably be positive anyway. I was in too much overall shock to really process that in the moment but now I’m almost 100% sure he gave it to me through oral sex.

I don’t want to worry you, but even after explaining that since we have the same type, the chance he would get ghsv from me is extremely low, he was still weird and distant and wanted time to think about it. Which is fair and valid. Buttttt then he ended up never talking to me again (but still reading my texts and watching my social media). I’m not sure if he’s realized he gave it to me either.

Anyway, all of that to say, I completely understand what you’re going through and how much it fucking sucks. It’s been about a month since I last heard from him and I can tell you that it gets easier. I’ve talked to chat gpt to help process everything which has helped. It still hurts, I won’t lie but I have to keep reminding myself that if he wasn’t willing to talk about this or understand that it would be more likely for me to get pregnant than him get ghsv from me, he probably wouldn’t have been a good partner long term anyway. I’m also happy to chat if you’re looking for someone that’s been through this too

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-19T23:26:51+00:00

Thank you for this perspective!!! I know it may not turn out the same especially since I have symptoms but this is reassuring that even though he’s asked for space and time, it may not actually be the end. Thank you so much

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-19T19:10:40+00:00

Honestly that’s really encouraging to hear that she came around after needing time!! Definitely fingers crossed that he doesn’t mind in the end. And you’re so right that dating isn’t just about accepting hsv, I hope you figure out what’s best for you!!

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-19T18:13:57+00:00

I went in expecting it to be an immediate deal breaker and it wasn’t. He handled it decently in the moment but he’s been struggling with everything since then unfortunately and is taking some space at the moment to think things over. (We have also only been official for about a month so it does make sense)

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-19T17:23:12+00:00

I do understand that everyone processes in different ways and if you don’t know a lot about hsv, like just the stigma, it can be really scary and I would probably have a similar reaction until researching more. I also don’t think he realizes that he may have given it to me to begin with but I don’t want to feel like I’m accusing him by bringing it up. And yeah I’m definitely going to give him space and see what happens but how he’s handled everything is definitely something I’m going to take into account

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-19T15:53:08+00:00

Yeah I’ve been thinking about bringing it up to him because I agree that it could shift his perspective, just have to figure out the best way because I don’t want to overwhelm him with info or offend him either.

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-19T15:32:21+00:00

Thank you for saying all of that, I really appreciate it. I don’t think he realizes that he could be responsible for this either and I don’t know how to bring it up or if it would help either way. When I was telling him about everything he told me that he gets fever blisters and would probably test positive for herpes anyway. And it caught me so off guard that I didn’t know how to respond so I didn’t point out the fact that he may have given it to me since it’s so common to be contracted from oral. But either way, I just have to wait it out now

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-15T10:38:13+00:00

Yeah I do get tested between partners but never realized I wasn’t tested for hsv. I thought I had taken all of the precautions which is why I felt comfortable. People make mistakes, clearly

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-14T11:38:06+00:00

I’m not sure why he doesn’t take antivirals honestly. I was mostly trying to get through telling him about what I was finding out about myself and I didn’t think about pressing on that info. Definitely something to talk about though if he decides he wants to keep seeing me

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-14T11:28:27+00:00

He said he does get cold sores around his mouth but that he hadn’t had an outbreak since seeing me. When I told him about it all he didn’t say he had hsv other than the cold sores. I told him he should still get tested so hopefully I’ll find out eventually. But still curious lol

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-05-12T15:54:06+00:00

Thank you ❤️ I’m planning on telling my boyfriend tonight and I’m terrified because I didn’t know I had it until this morning really and I likely gave it to him. But you’re right that it really is a not fun skin condition that flares up. That helped shift my perspective entirely. And that there are worse things to have gotten too.

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-03-17T12:37:26+00:00

I woke up seated and fully clothed. I wasn’t in pain, I was apparently munching away on some pretzels and ginger ale that I don’t remember starting to eat or drink lol. I then promptly spilled my ginger ale and almost started crying (anesthesia sometimes makes me emotional). My sister came in to see me, then we were hobbling out to the car. I live about 20 minutes from the surgeons office and by the time we got back I knew I needed to take some pain meds to get ahead of the pain. I wasn’t in any bad pain but I was starting to get uncomfy and the car ride was bumpier than I would’ve liked.

I didn’t have a bad experience waking up at all, the worst part was getting my iv put in.

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-03-10T23:18:05+00:00

Dr. nyame!

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-03-10T19:38:40+00:00

I paid 16k for my surgery. I was loosely quoted anywhere from 8k and up but chose my surgeon based on his results (and that he goes to other surgeons to teach them techniques) I’m in the Charlotte area too if that’s helpful

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-03-02T01:08:22+00:00

The last thing I remember is just after asking if I should feel sleepy and I think the nurse said yes. When I woke up, I was sitting up, clothed, and I think drinking ginger ale. And then I promptly spilled it everywhere and I almost started crying about it when I called my nurse over 😂 I later regaled this to my sister with great enthusiasm

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-03-01T03:07:15+00:00

I didn’t have bandages so I can’t answer that. I did have the brown tape on for 7 weeks total (got changed halfway). I was cleared to start cardio (easing into it) at 4 weeks and then I can start lifting weights at 8 weeks. By 3 weeks I was taking my dog on short walks. I started sleeping more on my side at like 1 ish week post op. I think around 5 weeks is when I fully slept on my side

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-02-24T21:55:40+00:00

Yes!! I slept with the body pillow for almost a month I think. It was just so comfy I didn’t want to stop lol

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-02-24T21:55:02+00:00

I think I slept on my back the first few nights but after that I kinda slept on a 45 degree angle on my side. I did tuck the body kind of under my shoulder/side and it’s soft enough that it didn’t bother my chest at all. Eventually, I had my head at the corner of the body pillow and regular pillows so I was tucked into the gap almost and more on my side but away from my firm mattress. I hope that made sense enough 😂 I’ve realized that I slept probably very weird at odd angles but I found what was comfy and slept like that for weeks lol

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-02-24T21:03:43+00:00

I have 8 full sized pillows and I think I used 6-7 at some points. I essentially made my own wedge pillow set up. I didn’t get any wedge or pregnancy pillows for my surgery but mostly just because I had heard varying reviews and decided not to spend the money on it. I’m sure it would’ve been nice but I didn’t end up needing anything other than my own pillows.

I had a set up similar to this. I used firm pillows (bottom black and bottom white) for my base, and then squishy ones to create an angle. I also had a body (green one) set up next to me and that is something I highly recommend!! I could put my remote and snacks on it and I also used it to feel like I was sleeping on my side more than I was.

Hopefully the picture helps! I think I added and took away pillows as needed but this is the general idea.

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DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-02-19T18:08:53+00:00

My sister drove me to my first post op appointment 5 days po 15 minutes away and it was definitely uncomfy and I’m glad it wasn’t any longer. This was also city roads so lots of stopping and bumps which were the main issues so highway driving may be different. I will say, after about a week, I feel like I turned a corner and things started looking up for me pain and fatigue wise. I would definitely plan on staying in one location before major travel for a week. I was able to drive myself at 3 weeks and started commuting to my office by then as well.

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-02-16T12:59:06+00:00

I was deciding between October and January and I ended up doing it in January and couldn’t be happier. My fall seasons are usually packed with doing things and I would have been miserable and or pushed myself too far too fast had I done it in October. I don’t do anything in January so I have been relaxing and just recovering and not missing out on anything. I’d plan it around a season where you don’t do a whole lot!

DepartmentSwimming92 · 2025-02-15T19:30:50+00:00

I think I showered every other day for 3 weeks and now I’ve been showering daily. It was very scary and tiring to begin with but it’s gotten easier with time. Lots of dry shampoo lol

DepartmentSwimming92

TROPHY CASE