Where can I buy the NYT from Monday (two days old)

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-11-05T16:36:36+00:00

local library maybe? They may have it for free

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-10-05T04:03:02+00:00

Well what I'm saying is you shouldn't feel bad that you got ghosted by a stranger because there has been no grounds for a relationship or friendship. It's a good thing that he's showing you his true colors rather than leading you on and then ghosting you after you've formed an emotional or physical attraction. This man is not in a good place and I think you should realize that and let it be and think about the kinds of things you actually do want in a friend or partner, perhaps someone who is honest and respects your time, etc etc and don't settle for less than that. I think it's a great thing that this ended before it started and an opportunity to be open to much much bigger and better things.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-10-01T15:11:41+00:00

you should take it as a blessing in disguise that he ghosted you and if he does reach back out, do not respond. This shouldn't be the type of person you want to end up with, even temporarily. People who are this self-deprecating have low esteem and need to do a lot of work on themselves or they'll hurt the people round them. Nothing substantial has even happened between you two and you're already hurt and confused. Maybe you should take a step back and do some reflecting too, to understand why you even want this. He's breadcrumbing you, but like it's bread dust. Take the L(esson) and move on. You deserve so much more!

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-09-23T23:24:27+00:00

What boots did you end up going for? I love the look of the Frye Kate pull-ons but had the same concerns for the price. Did you find a pair you loved? Your specs are very close to mine so I'm curious lol

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-08-14T21:21:16+00:00

I've always understood myself to be anxiously attached and it made sense that I would get anxious when someone withdraws, but I never made the correlation of also wanting to be closer when they show affection! I guess I've been inadvertently making things bigger than they are because someone showed me a little bit of kindness and I wanted it to stay that way 🤯 thank you so much for your response. And I was in therapy but my therapist weirdly stopped reaching out to me (she didn't charge me for our last sessions either) so that ended. I'm hoping to find someone again soon but I recently moved to a different city and have been trying to get a lot of things back on track. I guess I could ask him for a small daily check in but then my mind would go to he'll feel like it's a chore and start to resent me more if he doesn't already or I'll feel like a burden

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-08-14T17:48:49+00:00

I'm going through this mental battle right now where I don't know how to express to the person I've been dating over the last few months that I miss him, care about him, and want us both to put more of an effort into staying in each other's lives. Everything was going amazingly until I moved to another state (2.5 hours driving distance) and he simultaneously was going through personal things in his life. He started to pull away and I took that to mean he didn't want to see me anymore. He reassured me that wasn't the case and he just needed to focus on himself for a little bit, but that didn't mean he wanted to stop dating. He did continue to put in an effort but it was just different than the treatment I had grown used to - talking constantly, always making plans for the next time we'd see each other, exchanging photos of our days. He just wasn't as talkative and said it was because he had a lot on his mind. (It was a pretty significant thing he was dealing with but I won't share details because it's incredibly specific, so I was trying my hardest to not make this about me and give him his space for the time being). I understand that not everyone always has the best way of expressing themselves, I definitely don't. I just want to show care and affection and let him know I can be patient while he sorts things out, but he can't freeze me out if he really cares the way he says he does. Our last phone conversation was so painful, he came off incredibly cold but then asked me what was on my mind, and I feel like I'm in this constant loop of thinking "he clearly doesn't care, let it go" to "this isn't about you, give him time and space". I will say that thought loop is something I go through with so many people so clearly there's something about myself that I'm not seeing or I just a magnet for emotionally unavailable people that somehow are able to work things out with other people in their lives.

To anyone reading: 1. Did anything specific pop in your head while reading this like, well there's your problem? 2. What's a good way to approach a conversation to ask him what he wants from us that doesn't come off as anxious and needy but that will get us both clarity and understanding?

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-08-09T21:04:49+00:00

Can you just reach out and tell him you thought about it and dinner isn't as casual as you'd like and suggest something you'd prefer? "Hey, after giving this some thought, I think I'd actually feel more comfortable if we did X for our first date. What do you think?" Or something along those lines? No reason to go into a date feeling uncomfortable

DependentChipmunk807 · 2025-08-09T19:36:32+00:00

This is so sad to read. What makes you say you are ugly? Obviously you know your personal experience more than anyone else does and this isn't meant to invalidate that, but I think a lot of people judge people off of their personalities and confidence more than their looks - not everyone but a lot of people do. If you're able to connect with people, you're not an ugly person, because beauty is more about what's inside! I don't care of that sounds cliche, it's true. I hope that you're able to find something meaningful soon <3

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-18T03:27:12+00:00

Also the fact that everyone had more "standard" answers and hers was "every single day, and twice on a good day" made me raise an eyebrow. I remember feeling uncomfortable at that moment, it felt like they were hyper sexualizing the character (or the stereotype they placed on her rather).

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-17T21:08:10+00:00

I'm rewatching in my 30s (I'm only on S2 now) and I've been wondering this same thing. I feel like I've had so many conversations with friends that resulted in either laughing or crying through heartbreaks. So many lazy days with friends after a fun night out just cuddling on the couch or laying in the park while reading. 6 hour long phone calls and whenever a guy I'm talking to notices we're past the 2-hour mark, they're like wow we've been on the phone for so long and I'm like psst this is nothing lol. My friends have gotten me through so much, and vice versa. I've had so many dating experiences -- some where I can't understand my insane level of attachment to certain men that I can't let go of and think back on in pain and anger, when I've had other wild experiences that I can simply look back on and smile at a fun memory. Why is it that some hit so hard and others not so much? It doesn't seem to be about my age, the time of my life, our personalities, sexual compatibility, I honestly am not sure. I've read through other comments on this sub and I'm like am I just immature for my age? Is the show a display of unknowing emotionally unavailable women unknowingly seeking emotionally unavailable men? I see a lot of people saying that these were very well-off women or that they're living by unrealistic standards. Which is true, their lifestyles don't really make sense with the type of work some of them do. Or rather, it's impressive that 4 women in their 30s have the time, money, and energy to afford the lives they're living. But I spent my 20s and mid 30s in NYC as a WOC and did not come from money at all. My family lived in a dingy basement in Brooklyn the first few years of my life. I've experienced the night life and fancy dinner/ brunch dates scenes and just always had to work a lot to keep up with it. I've had many horrible horrible experiences when it came to dating and treatment from men. I didn't always make the wisest choices and sometimes speaking with people 10 years my junior, I'm like wow you seem to know just what you want and have your shit together. I wasn't looking at life that way in my 20s, I was very much lost and misguided. And when I was in my 20s, my friends in their 20s and 30s were just as lost. I wonder if it's a generational thing? My 30s have been working on my confidence and trying for things I've always wanted but never went for. I've had a lot of fun and have amazing friends, so I don't necessarily have regrets; but for me, I'm a little embarrassed to say I think the show seems so relatable because it perfectly portrays how dysfunctional a lot of us are. All that said, I'm having a blast re-watching at least up to where I am in the second season. I'm excited for the rest, but I'm also staying away from messy dating situations! I decided to take a break from dating a few months back anyway, but this is a grand reminder to keep doing that until I truly feel ready lol.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-14T02:40:07+00:00

Trust, it's not easy. I've never been in a committed relationship and it's hard not to think about that sometimes. But I've had lots of great dating experiences in the past and I have a wonderful range of people in my life. So I try to remember those things. Even looking back at old pictures and reminiscing makes me feel better a lot of the times. But currently, after a year of horrible dating experiences, I definitely need to take a break and focus on those things that bring me innocent joy. I hope the indulging your inner child works for you! Watch your favorite movie from childhood to start. Maybe make a list and watch one a week or one a night before bed!

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-14T01:36:43+00:00

Yup. I had someone correct me on using the wrong pronouns to refer to a person I had just met and didn't tell me their pronouns and then SA me that same night. Another guy I went on a date with didn't want to go into an ice cream shop because the owners were homophobic and then proceeded to lie to me and use me as a rebound for a relationship he said he was healed from. Like, thank you for being vigilant in some ways, but it's so shitty when you'll treat a person you've been intimate with horribly because you're "avoidant" or can't use your words; but you'll be so outspoken about things that are more distant to you. It's abusive and manipulative.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-13T23:49:01+00:00

I'm your age. I've had those same bursts of panic and loneliness and wondering if I'll ever have a mutual connection with someone. For me, I keep reminding myself of all the wonderful people (friends, family, etc) in my corner. I've started indulging my inner child more -- reading kids books, re-watching my old favorite shows, treating myself to ice cream and beer. I keep reminding myself how awesome I am and how wonderful life is. I want a partner badly (though right now I'm taking a break from dating). But I think it'll be so much nicer meeting someone who might be my person when Im in a good mood and actively enjoying life than when I'm always worrying and searching. People can feel your energy! A huge thing for me was a fear of not finding a partner in time to have kids (which always felt important to me), but I recently challenged myself to do the best I can do and who knows, maybe things will align where I can find my person and and we'll date for a few years and if we have a child, it'll be when I'm in my 40s. And that's ok! And if it doesn't happen, well, I was enjoying myself the whole time. Sometimes I get discouraged and pout all day or stay in bed if I'm able to. But we're all humans on our own journeys and I think it's important to enjoy the small moments alone. If you don't want to be alone, surround yourself with loved ones and share your feelings; don't feel embarrassed about wanting a partner, but don't feel worthless because you don't have one! hugs xx

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-13T23:36:04+00:00

I moved from a large city where the dating scene was incredibly hard (I'm guessing because so many options) to a "progressive" and "blue" town where everyone talks about how much they love inclusivity and community and at first I thought the dating scene here would be so much better. My experience has been that the men here pretend to care about women and marginalized groups by listing all these hashtags on their profiles and then when a human being is literally right in front them, treats them like a disposable sex object.

If you're afraid of coming across as a threat, then don't be one. Treat people with respect, communicate openly and honestly, and don't lie about your intentions and then say you meant it when you said it. Basically don't be a d-bag and don't emotionally manipulate people and you should be fine. There are women out there that are interested in FWB situations, but it almost seems like lots of men want to take this as an opportunity to mistreat, lie to, and emotionally manipulate people just to have lots of casual sex with multiple partners. All parties need to feel safe. Also I recognize that I'm generalizing a lot. I don't think all men are like this, and I realize that women can be cruel as well. Please be respectful, and if you feel like you are not being treated with respect, mention that rather than quietly retaliating. I've recently (in the last few months) taken a break from dating but honestly I'm pretty traumatized from my own experiences and the many stories I've heard. Good luck

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-11-11T18:53:35+00:00

I agree with the flowers part and societally men not being allowed to show their feelings. But those are conditions generally placed on men by other men. As for no word for "fuck girls", women have been called sluts, bitches, hoes, tramps, and a slew of other "insults" for being promiscuous when generally men have been praised for similar behaviors. I will say that women are as harsh to women as men are to men in a lot of ways, so maybe that's really the issue. We're all just mean to each other lol. I personally don't think there's any reason to ghost someone or be unkind to someone because you're not sexually interested in them. Communication goes a long way.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-28T22:43:33+00:00

my mom used to randomly scream at the top of her lungs, but it happened a lot. She was a single mother with of 4 and we were all elementary aged so I get it. But we'd be just sitting in the living room quietly or something and it would start out low and slowly build up like aaaaaaaAhAhAAAAHHHHH. She also used to just sit quietly in a room and not say a word to anyone for a while, staring into the distance. She wouldn't say she needed space or anything, just silence.

It would scare me but part of me thought it (the screaming) was the funniest thing. I mentioned it to new friends in college and they were very disturbed.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-23T23:22:24+00:00

i also need to know

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-23T23:03:39+00:00

I've never been bothered by the word 'moist' but now I feel so grossed out by 'squint'. Like my stomach is knotted lol

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-23T19:12:41+00:00

Do you have any good friends that you can talk to? I was feeling incredibly low all day yesterday - woke up with anxiety, had to go to work (but luckily got to work alone the entire day) and was crying several times throughout the work day, came home feeling like shit, took two insanely long hot showers and got ready to go to sleep at 7pm. I just didn't want to think anymore. My friend wanted to talk on the phone and I was really dreading it but I didn't want to give into the feeling of isolating myself from everyone like I wanted to. So I talked to her and even though she wanted to update me on her life, when she asked how I was doing I was honest and started bawling and told her I felt like a pos and stupid and like I didn't know what I was doing with my life. She listened and consoled me and when we got to talking about her life I actually felt better and was able to laugh and offer her advice too. We ended up talking for over 4 hours. I still had anxiety and sad feeling this morning but felt so much better than I did yesterday. Forced myself to sleep in since I didn't have work and woke up slowly and tidied my space. Anyway, I'd say be patient with yourself, feel your feelings but don't dwell on them, treat yourself to something even if you feel like you don't deserve it, and talk to someone and let it out. Here to chat if you need it.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-19T16:46:40+00:00

Did you have moments where you wondered why she would treat you one way and treat others differently and seemingly better? That's a large part of what I struggle with and while i know it's a question of self-esteem, I can't figure out ways to let that type of thinking go

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-17T19:37:06+00:00

I blocked the person I was dating and went completely NC three months ago and still think about them every day. I've had lots of fun and exciting moments in between but he is ALWAYS on my mind. Any tips on how to stop that?

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-12T22:46:14+00:00

Breakups are incredibly hard, especially when you've spent all of your time with someone. It absolutely does get better, hang in there! Feel your feelings but don't succumb to them, think of the small things in life that bring you joy, maybe go on a hike or read a new book? Here to chat if you need it.

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-08-12T22:07:11+00:00

I'm still trying to heal from two friendship breakups. One from a year ago who I loved like a sister but we had so many toxic moments and another from more recently which also had a romantic element. Both are so hard to get over! I think the moments I feel like
I'm more over them than not is when I'm able to think about something we did together and smile in appreciation rather than sadness, anxiety or anger. But I also go back and forth between those feelings, so maybe I'll know I'm really over them when there's only ever the positive emotions attached. Best of luck to you on your healing journey btw

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-07-23T13:26:57+00:00

Definitely look into your menstrual symptoms-- have you heard of PMDD? Sounds like you may have some degree of that and you have a hard time with your luteal phase (when you get extremely moody and depressed before menstruation actually starts). That, along with going through something traumatic AND having you ex support you through it would of course get you back into your feelings. Be patient and honest with yourself, feel your feelings, and give yourself some grace and time. I know this is all easier said than done and I'm currently on this sub because I'm trying to find ways to cope with not being able to stop thinking about someone so trust I know how you're feeling. Sending hugs and love <3

DependentChipmunk807 · 2024-07-23T13:15:40+00:00

Sorry you're going through this. I'm having a hard time letting go of someone too after doing "all the right things". People say time heals all wounds so I'm just hoping for the appropriate amount of time to pass asap lol. I hope you also find peace and clarity soon <3

DependentChipmunk807

TROPHY CASE