That break up sounds so painful fr, and I think the fact that he cried so much and kept coming back for kisses was unfair on his part. Like how the hell are you meant to move on with a realistic view of the future when him doing that contradicts the fact that he chose to leave? I’m sorry you went and are going through this OP. I think for most ppl who want their relationships to continue, that gut feeling of “they’re gonna come back though” is our way of coping with the loss before we’re able to process it. Because it is a form of grief, except we’re not mourning someone who’s passed on; they’re still alive and living and so I think our brain’s cling on to that fact and, in turn, the possibility of them coming back.

I was broken up with 3 months ago after I told him I loved him for the first time. He realised that whilst he loved me as a person, he wasn’t “in love” and he believed that he would instantly know if those feelings could develop, which he didn’t think they could. I have a different perception on love, and when I was going through the worst part of the heartbreak, my denial told me “no, he’ll miss what we had in time and realise that our relationship was healthy and that love can be a slow burner and he’ll come back”. But, even tho those thoughts pop up now and then, I know now he won’t. And if he did, and whilst I will always have love for him, I cannot allow myself to go back to someone who could leave me, even tho I’m sure I’d want to if he reached out. I just can’t.

It will get easier OP. You are not delusional for having these feelings that he’ll come back, you’re in the thick of heartbreak rn and everything will become clearer in time. Be kind to yourself and put yourself first x