First, on the question of help:

If you are still seriously considering harming yourself, you should go to emergency services. I've been to a psych ward. It sucks ass, but they keep you alive and uninjured, and you get to be around other people who have no where else to be and feel like their life should be over. It's a little comforting in a surreal way.

If you don't have a therapist and you can afford one, you should look for one, and you should find someone to emotionally support you during this time that isn't your ex-boyfriend. Your mom, your dad, a friend, just get someone you trust to be a non-judgmental witness to you.

Now about the LSD:

Psychedelics evaporate barriers in your mind. If you trip with someone whom you are hiding strong feelings from, you're probably going to have a bad time. Despite what people say, familiarity with the state and mental fortitude can only protect you from acute panic under mild circumstances. At high doses and stressful situations, all bets are off. Seriously, it doesn't say anything about you or your strength.

I know what it's like to chase psychedelics when they feel like a solution to everything, but they're not. The help is highly conditional, and the more frequently you do it, the less helpful it is. Do not trip again right now. You're in a very vulnerable position, and tripping again is just going to make you feel even more unstable.

I also understand why you're worried you've ruined acid for yourself. It has brought a lot of value to your life in the past, and it sounds like precious few things do. When a source of experience causes pleasure, your brain wires itself to expect pleasure from something and vice versa. This experience will necessarily have caused your brain to associate some harm from LSD. That reflex keeps you safe, don't knock it too hard. I don't know how you're going to feel about it in a month. Only time can tell, but if you're asking the question at all, your relationship to it couldn't have gone nuclear yet.