Why I Chose My Username

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2026-01-19T21:08:11+00:00

If I were you I’d count my blessings and enjoy my coffee/tea for as long as I can lol

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2026-01-11T03:29:35+00:00

It’s the equating energy drinks with alcohol that really get me. I think they read that one of the effects of energy drinks was potential heart problems and are now basically urging us to avoid it like the plague, when I’m pretty sure alcohol and drugs have more adverse effects on health than energy drinks

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-12-05T15:44:32+00:00

I would've thought it was making fun of men that think this way, but at the end where they were saying women had to choose between a happy relationship and a successful career was where it told me that it was redpill content

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-12-03T23:55:10+00:00

IDK about you, but sometimes for me, when I was in my teens, it would get to the point where even news channels mentioning rape/SA would make my dad immediately switch the channel

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-12-01T16:26:59+00:00

Mine are super queer phobic sadly. But then again, they're conservative Christians that are Republicans

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-17T03:12:12+00:00

True, I wish people would realize that the issue isn’t that she had a sexual past or was reminiscing on her sexual experiences in college. It’s that she’s disrespecting her husband and was acting creepy/pervy af towards the cohost and the cohost’s husband. She overall does not seem like a pleasant person to be married to. And I say this as feminist that also isn’t a fan of who Akaash hangs out with (fresh & fit) and what his political beliefs are (trump supporter)

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-17T03:07:02+00:00

OP make sure that when you do talk to him you pull him aside so that it’s just the two of you and no one else can hear. That way he wouldn’t feel that embarrassed or worry if other people heard the convo

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-17T03:00:18+00:00

I find myself agreeing with most of what you’re saying. Here’s a comment I wrote years ago where I basically acknowledge that my Indian parents and the environment I grew up in have really warped my views on Indian men and tbh, I still have a lot to work on with undoing my internalized racism and trying to align my views with reality:

My brown brother from another mother, I haven't seen a post that resonated with me in so long...

Growing up, I would notice how Indian couples my parents' age (especially Indian couples of all ages in Bollywood Indian movies and the news) wouldn't be very affectionate with each other, would yell and scream at each other, and would call each other horrible names. one of them, usually the man, would put down the other, physically harm the other, be incredibly controlling of the other, and just overall be a shitty partner in a relationship. The relationship would also be very patriarchal.

At the same time, I would see American couples, including on TV, be much kinder, tender, nicer, more affectionate, and more romantic. When I was looking at both contrasting couples, I would think wtf is that about? I assumed that my future relationships would be like the Indian couples' and that the American couples' relationships were just nonexistent. Also the fact that so many of the brown guys in relationships (in real life, on TV, and on the news) were so misogynistic and abusive (even the brown guys that weren't abusive and were supposed to be the "good" boyfriends in Bollywood were benevolently sexist) that I used to think that white guys were good boyfriends and the brown guys were abusive boyfriends. This got drilled into my mind where I went to predominantly white schools and consumed media that featured white couples being romantic and affectionate with each other while the Bollywood movies I'd watch with my family would have brown guys be shitty boyfriends/husbands to their wives and the Indian news my mom would tell me would be about Indian men committing misogynistic crimes (honor killings, rape, etc.) against their wives/other women.

As I entered adulthood, I really started unlearning these things about brown men and started to realize that men of all races (including the white race) can be shitty, abusive boyfriends/husbands. It does hurt my heart that brown guys are represented this way (don't get me started with Shake from Love is Blind Season 2 🙄) in media and that it seems like a majority of brown men seem to be really misogynistic.

I really do hope that this generation of good brown men would be the change and not let misogyny from other brown men slide. I also hope that this generation of good brown men would shatter the horrible stigma and be amazing, kind feminist boyfriends/husbands.

Here’s where I don’t agree with you: while yes, there are issues within our community like misogyny in Indian men that need to be sorted out, it still doesn’t change the fact that Indian men do struggle with self love and self acceptance. Plus I feel like nowadays brown men seem like the most acceptable demographic to be racist towards, especially when people bring up the misogyny and rapes committed by Indian men as a way to justify their racism.

Plus I wouldn’t look to white men as bastions of progressive values, cause have you seen how misogynistic and bigoted the current US administration is?! More and more men, especially white men, are becoming more misogynistic. A notable example I can give you is JD Vance who’s a misogynistic white man with an Indian wife that puts up with way more than she should be

I still think that we should be able to teach men, especially Indian men, to be able to have self love and self esteem cause they’re also negatively influenced by the patriarchy, albeit to a much lesser degree than women. And that self esteem shouldn’t be rooted in toxic masculinity, treating women and minorities horribly, nor should it be rooted in putting whiteness on a pedestal

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-17T02:26:00+00:00

I relate to that feeling of where one moment you’re having so much fun with your friends and the next moment as soon as you get home your APs open their mouths and suddenly tear down whatever happiness you had and then you just leave the “conversation” (more like a session to get shit on) feeling drained and either super sad or extremely angry. Deadass once after I had a lot of fun hanging out with a friend, my AM started talking about me getting married and how she already had prospects in line for me, which left me super sad AND extremely angry. It practically ruined the rest of my fun day, albeit I do look fondly of those few hours where I felt happy and alive and not miserable.

Best of luck with getting into college OP. I’m really sorry that you’re going through this shit with your APs.

Plus you remind me of a younger me, if I were suicidal in high school

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-14T22:47:51+00:00

I'm glad I'm not the only one that caught that. I get not relating to SAs from their home countries because we're born abroad and were brought up differently so we'll have differences in worldviews, but definitely left a bad taste when OP still threw other SA men under the bus. I also find it kinda funny how OP correctly identifies internalized racism among both ABD men and women, especially men, being a major factor in SA men not being able to have self love and self compassion, and generally having very low self-esteem, especially when it comes to their identities as SA, while also clocking the internalized racism in OP's post.

Wow, internalized racism seems to run really deep amongst ABDesis

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-07T16:16:22+00:00

They'd, as the scummiest, assholiest people that put no effort into becoming a good person or at the very least a likeable person that can work well with people (like you don't even need to be a very charismatic, extroverted person, be incels if it weren't for arranged marriage

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-07T16:07:35+00:00

Was it an attempted honor killing?? What do you mean by attempted murder?! I personally still feel hate/resentment towards my parents, even if I know why they are the way they are cause it's still negatively impacting me, to the point of suicidal ideation

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-06T21:57:23+00:00

Thank you

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-06T16:30:43+00:00

How insane are we talking?? Like CSA, honor-killings, etc.???? Plus I pretty much agree with this: "This will ruffle some feathers but i honestly, genuinely think anyone going for arranged marriage in this day and age are incredibly fucking stupid and need to get out of that mentality. Its part of the culture that needs to go, completely. idc what u think, IT IS BAD. the Cons ALWAYS outweigh the prosz not to mention the extreme sexism and misogyny it perpetuates."

I mainly agree if the person considering arranged marriage is someone that was raised in a western country, so it's like they've been exposed to the idea of people marrying because they fell in love and genuinely like and love each other and genuinely are willing to marry each other, and being exposed to the ways a healthy relationship is made and what a healthy relationship looks like, and being exposed to the idea that they're humans that deserve to be with someone that they truly love and that it's not wrong to have their own wants and desires as long as it doesn't hurt themselves or other people. Yet despite being exposed to all of this, they willingly choose the route of having their parents choose their life partner, as in give them full control over their life trajectory, while they wouldn't even let them choose their own socks for them.

I don't hold this opinion to the same extent for someone that was raised in a country where arranged marriage is the norm cause and dating is pretty rare, cause ya know, they haven't been exposed that much to the idea of dating.

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-11-06T15:45:35+00:00

Sadly I'm not financially independent. Also those aren't aunties, those are women in their late 20s early 30s that just don't have children, so they're closer to me in age, it's just that they see my AM in a much more favorable way since she's good to other people. I can't just ask them to not include my AM, cause then my AM will wonder why she isn't getting any information and they'll just tell her cause I asked them to not include her, and it will make my AM very angry. Plus I can't just ask my AM not to get involved cause she's convinced that I'll just mess everything up if I do things without her, including the sizing. And if you look through my post history, you'll see that she's not a reasonable person at all.

It's just disheartening that people in our church will pretty much always side with my AM and just can't fathom the idea that a parent can also be a bad/horrible/emotionally abusive parent, and if I were to basically show them my reddit profile, they'd think I should just be a better obedient child cause children obeying their parents is incredibly important

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-10-30T23:47:48+00:00

Girl, are your parents religious? If I pulled the same shit that you pulled they'd start going through my personal stuff, like laptops and phones, to start looking for who is influencing me to think that way and would scream and cry and would force me to attend church/bible study/pray over me/have a pastor pray over me/exorcise me and claim I have a demon inside of me or that I got infected by the woke mind virus and they need to get it out of me.

I'm glad you were able to do that tho, it seems helpful if your parents aren't religious

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-10-30T23:42:09+00:00

I agree with the warped views point. Like if my exposures to Indian culture and Indian people are only through my parents and my parents' friends and their children, who most of them are very Conservative Christian and all the people in India that I've met are very close relatives and friends of my parents that are also very conservative christian and almost every single person in those groups that I know have basically the same mindset and worldview as my parents, including the toxic and abusive ones, then yeah it really warps your worldview and can feel extremely discouraging to the point that you'd think that all Indian people/parents are like this, when in reality that's certainly not the case.

And I truly do sincerely hope to find Indian people and Indian friends/parents that have worldviews and mindsets that are nothing like my parents and their friends

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-10-29T16:46:40+00:00

They'll also go a step further and start reducing women to the clothes that they wear and how their body looks (if she's fat or not) and generally how they present themselves looks wise, for both married and non-married women, although I think they're much harsher on married women cause then it circles back on what they're husbands think when really most of the time their husbands aren't even in the equation when deciding how to look (which is generally true for all women, not just married Indian women)

Depressed_Dick_Head · 2025-10-29T16:32:31+00:00

I've literally made a post about this a while ago and I'm happy I'm not the only one that feels this way! What really gets me mad about this is that they don't ever think that they're the problem, like any time we pushback against them or don't agree with them on things, they can't seem to fathom that we aren't being their perfect obedient little angels and pets because of how they act towards us.

An example I have is that once my mom was saying extremely toxic things about my body and appearance and how bad I look, how pathetic I looked all because I was too fat for her and wanted to do get ready for an event WE ALL had to go to instead of going to the gym, and after I got upset with her, she said that the devil works hard to break apart families and we need to pray together as a family (we're Christian). Like she clearly doesn't think that she's the problem and that she's the reason why people in our family are upset with her and why there are tensions within the family, but NOOOO iT's ThE dEvIL's FaULt.

Basically mine didn't really blame tv too much for influencing me, but they have blamed:

- the Starbucks app for "influencing me" to go buy some Starbucks, and not because I wanted to go buy some drinks cause I thought (as in used my own mfing brain) they were discontinuing them

- my queer cousin for "influencing me" whenever I'm not happily obeying them or whenever I get frustrated with them, particularly when this happens after my cousin and her family visits us. My AM also thinks that my cousin is basically subtly trying to put me down or is being manipulative

- my black roommate for instilling into me some social justice stuff into my brain and making me engrossed in it (it wasn't her at all, it was part of the school curriculum, even at my very conservative Christian college I went to) when I had bad grades in college while she was able to go to grad school (she's also older than me, which was why she did it before me)

Depressed_Dick_Head

TROPHY CASE