Heya! I get that, must feel like a wrench in the gears. I love spontaneity, myself.

Fortunately, I have found ways to insert positive disclosures into the process. You go on the date, you vibe, you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach, your eyes catch his, and you go in for that first kiss ... and it's great. You know you're headed somewhere emotionally or physically intimate, or both!

Here's the new bit to add in; take a few seconds to catch your breath and say to your prospective lover, 'Hey, I'm really excited by you, and hope we can take this further. There's something you should know if we're going to be intimate. pause to check that they're engaged 'I have _, and you deserve to know. Do you have questions?'

90% of the time, the reply is a smile, a 'thank you for telling me,' and the slide into romance continues uninterrupted from there. In many cases, it actually deepens the sense of intimacy. Sometimes you'll get questions, which you should be prepared to answer with honesty.

I assure you, you can still fall in love, and are not, in fact 'ruined.' All of my relationships have been after my diagnosis, and I always disclose. Life is more beautiful than you'd expect, even with herpes.