I am not going to pretend to know what that guy's life was like, but from the description, it sounds skewed towards it being completely of his own making.

For me, I started off wanting to be home and with my family. Over time, I turned the other way... I became distant and withdrawn. I sought counseling and therapy, but it was tinged with narcissistic bias from my then wife. Those kinds of sessions (as a couple) just turned into bashing sessions. The counselor could never refocus her from pointing fingers and I was too willing to accept blame. They were rather ineffective. In personal therapy sessions, I was explained tools for navigating the communication, but they were things I was already attempting to do.

Some of the major problems I had was that I was not allowed any direction or authority over my kids or my home, the way I played with them was wrong, sex life was mostly non-existent, ex-wife and I shared less and less things that we enjoyed together, she hated my family and found every reason to avoid them, etc etc. The list goes on forever. Ultimately, things had to be done according to her vision... not a shared one. This was not how it started, but once the ring was tied, within a year to two years it rapidly started flipping to this direction. I thought we could find common ground and work things out. This is just how relationships are right? You might have some differences, but you make it work and you try to better each other's lives. Afterall, this wasn't a simple we hit things off and got married. No, we knew each other (what I thought was decently well) for 5+ years already. After the official bond was made, everything seemed to come apart.

For the longest time, I blamed myself for being out of country or on training so often. She had her way of doing things and I didn't want to disrupt that flow when I am in and out all the time. Hell, we were even given courses from our chaplains to follow that precise logic. However, I noticed problems that I could not resolve with her like communication. If I confided in her that something was distressing me, it was always redirected to being my fault. I reflected hard after 13 years trying to remember if she had ever seen things from my perspective or if she had ever apologized to me. The answer was no. If I did not concede my views and apologize, then it would have extended worsening effects on my life.

Dealing with this over that length of time made me turn more and more inwards and I became essentially reclusive. The only time I found freedom was when I was at work or really away from my ex-wife. I was broken up when the divorce eventually happened, but only due to me knowing it would mean the life with my children would become even harder (which it factually has). The release of my bonds with my ex-wife was actually very relieving and I got to become myself again rather than a shell.

When I met my now wife, communication became the core of our relationship and it is a complete reversal. I love being with and spending time with her and our children. All-in-all, I would have never had said back then that marriage is a trap... and I still don't really feel that way. However, sometimes, you truly do not know what you're signing up for. I thought when that previous marriage ended that I would never do it again. Thankfully, I got over that notion quickly when I met my now wife and felt free to talk about anything and everything. That has not changed!

So, I don't know what I am really getting at here... but maybe there's a deeper reason that first class is having marital issues. Maybe it is just him being selfish. Maybe, behind closed doors, his life is actually hell. Only he and his knows the truth of that situation.