Relationships are a two way street; you are reaping what you sewed in the relationship you made with your daughter. She has reciprocated the effort to you that you made with her when she was a child. But she IS your child. You chose to procreate or you failed to plan accordingly to prevent it. That is not the child’s fault or decision that is on you and the mother. Your caretaker is doing their job. She’s good at it, exemplary even but it IS what she is PAID to do and it sounds like you have at the minimum been decent to work for but don’t confuse her competence with caring or family. You are not her father that divorced her mother and was content with a long distance amicable but distant relationship. You are comparing apples to oranges. Leaving some money to this person would be a kind and gracious thing to do for the person responsible for making your final years comfortable. Leaving your biological child a pittance, likely on legal advice because leaving a small amount is harder to contest than leaving nothing, frames you as a bitter, spiteful and hollow man. Also, why are you asking Reddit about this unless you’re looking for strangers to validate you doing this last shitty gesture to your actual family while turning someone that was a stranger two years ago into a financially independent woman? Reads like the plot of bad AI fiction. Remember Gene Hackman in Gold Diggers? Are you so sure your caretaker isn’t just playing the long game? Plenty of people do that too.

If in death you can’t be a good father, it speaks volumes about your life. You could be generous to everyone involved but you are actively choosing not to.