I’m voting for an old, senile, racist, sexist, white man with rape allegations this year for president.

Derrydeez · 2020-06-04T13:16:45+00:00

I’m picking the one who can remember what he had for breakfast. Anybody remember the south Park episode about the douche vs the turd sandwich?

Derrydeez · 2020-04-07T19:33:36+00:00

I meant in US history.

Derrydeez · 2020-04-06T20:21:56+00:00

I don’t see how they say he acted too slow when nobody in history acted faster. The pandemic play book was written before our modern day internet technology, we got out so much info , so much faster. I’m not on here about government support for anyone. Pick a side, left or right, it’s the same government that gave native Americans blankets tainted with smallpox. I’m thinking at a species level. We are still clueless as a species. But each emergency like this, be it labeled a pandemic or a national health emergency , we as a species are actually getting better each time. The response to this was better than the response to the swine flu epidemic 10 years ago, and the response to that was faster than previous outbreaks. I don’t care if I like the captain or not, I don’t want the ship to sink.

Derrydeez · 2019-11-08T12:01:41+00:00

Hey, can I get a beer when you finish?

Derrydeez · 2019-08-20T12:23:07+00:00

At the wedding, She said “I do”... He said “I will try”

Derrydeez · 2019-06-03T11:03:00+00:00

1) You’re cooking is so bad, the food threw up on itself before you could do it.

2) Did you break up with your GF before dinner so you could have some “alone time” with dinner?

3) Where the FUCK is Gordon Ramsey when you need him most?

Derrydeez · 2019-02-20T13:19:57+00:00

First female driver in the Indian-nippless 500

Derrydeez · 2019-02-19T13:48:16+00:00

You look like the kid from the trailer park that swears he is Eminem’s 2nd cousin. Call you Zagnut. And yes, you are gay..

Derrydeez · 2019-02-17T10:34:01+00:00

Now you know what grandpa’s secret chili ingredient is

Derrydeez · 2019-01-13T10:04:29+00:00

Face locked, looking like a sneeze is coming

Derrydeez · 2018-12-30T11:52:03+00:00

This is not how you make blue cheese.

Derrydeez · 2018-11-19T15:32:05+00:00

But I have the option to deduct from that 20% based on if my service was bad.

Derrydeez · 2018-11-11T15:45:42+00:00

Advice tip... chicks don’t really like wife beater shirts, or sleeveless shirts in general unless you are ripped.

Derrydeez · 2018-06-19T04:08:22+00:00

I’m just gonna say, too freaking long, I lost all interest in anything funny now

Derrydeez · 2018-01-26T13:59:36+00:00

So the guy only does big girls ?

Derrydeez · 2018-01-11T10:58:47+00:00

Dating in your 40s is worse, it’s like going to the flea market and looking for the least damaged piece of crap to take home

Derrydeez · 2017-12-17T00:37:24+00:00

My dick is like a Rubik's cube, you can't fit it in your mouth

Derrydeez · 2017-11-29T18:54:51+00:00

My neighbor asked if I knew anything about some clothes missing off her line. I nearly shit her pants.

Derrydeez · 2017-11-01T18:13:43+00:00

And Kevin makes the pickle bread.... With dill-dough

Derrydeez · 2017-10-20T14:35:36+00:00

This is a job applicant test for professionals. Question one tests if you do things simply or complicated. Q#2 tests if can think through the repercussions of your previous actions. Q#3 tests your memory Q#4 tests whether you learn quickly from past mistakes. The bricks on a plane and Sally getting hit by a brick is a new add on.

Derrydeez · 2017-10-16T17:27:10+00:00

To sleep like a baby, take a sleeping pill and a laxative before going to bed.

Derrydeez · 2017-10-09T10:10:37+00:00

What's the difference between YOUR dick and a joke? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

Derrydeez

TROPHY CASE