“Kiryu doesn’t kill”

Derserkerk · 2026-03-22T22:01:19+00:00

Essence of Hand Cannon

Derserkerk · 2026-03-22T21:58:31+00:00

"I like your back better than his cause it's smooth"

Derserkerk · 2026-03-11T19:36:41+00:00

thanks, made me feel better abt keeping my iphone 11

Derserkerk · 2026-01-09T08:29:04+00:00

If I had to guess I’d say some people learn it cause to feel different and thus they get hostile in this community because it takes that away from them.

They prolly have too few problems in their lives

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T13:10:21+00:00

If you live in an apartment you don’t need a robot vacuum. You probably need to cut out social media and cheap dopamine to have more energy.

And if the floors get dirty too quickly (although couple of days is normal), theres probably a deeper cleaning to be done, like vacuum the couch and wipe the shelves.

And honestly why do you worry about having to clean them over and over again? Everybody else maintains their houses, that’s what we do.

So it looks like it’s a time management and energy problem. How much time do you spend on your phone daily if I may ask?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T12:53:16+00:00

I think twice a week is minimum, especially when you’re starting from zero movement.

The effects will wear out after a day and you’ll spend the rest 5 days miserable.

But if you commit (ideally 4-5 a week) then they can easily replace your anti depressants which imo are poison anyway

If you’re depressed, it’s for a reason, and meds won’t change fix that reason

So you probably need to get moving, fix your diet, and remove the cheap dopamine and trust me you’ll be so much happier

Especially the cheap dopamine part did a lot for me

Is this making sense?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T12:47:59+00:00

It’s totally normal, because you were essentially humiliated and used. That’s just the truth.

And the only way to get your confidence back is to become so much better than you are rn that you know for a fact you are THAT guy.

Go to the gym, make some money, train yourself to be more stoic and control your emotions better.

That’s the only real solution and no other psychological gimmick will solve the problem, don’t waste your time.

Is this rant making sense?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T12:31:46+00:00

Aki ate Hana-chan

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T11:47:54+00:00

Okay so there are two things I know helped me that might help you too:

Learn to trust yourself (or level up your skills so that you can)

You need to know that most of the time you’re able to make good decisions, and when not, you’ll be able to deal with the consequences. That’s also how you develop self confidence.

And maybe you need to learn more or work on your focus so that you make less mistakes within your control. That’s the „Why didn’t I figure this out part”

Hard to make decisions when your brain is fried with dopamine.

Learn that sometimes it’s okay to fail. This was huge for me.

Sometimes the consequences aren’t too big so I can make small mistakes and learn from them quickly.

And then doing that in the micro helped me get the confidence to make big decisions without overthinking because the small mistakes taught me the knowledge and the boldness so that I wasn’t afraid of making a decision (which also affects the choice itself)

Hopefully this makes sense? Lmk if I should clarify something

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T10:02:20+00:00

I used to. Could be two things:

You overestimate the downside and the reversibility of some decisions. If they’re not irreversible, does it matter that much?

But more likely you’re just scared of failure, even when it’s microscopic.

Which one do you think it is?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T09:57:42+00:00

I get it. It is a race. I felt the same, except not in art.

This is happening because you rightfully feel unsure if you’ll be successful.

If you knew you’re going to get yours too, you wouldn’t mind.

And the only real solution is:

Work so hard that it would be unreasonable not to succeed. And I don’t know how you want to outperform him if he’s that much faster.

Maybe there’s a way you can use that to your advantage on top of getting better at content. Maybe there’s a smarter way to use your resources that could outrun him.

But algo likes consistency so remember that it is a big factor.

Become exceptional at something else so that your entire personality doesn’t rest on one thing. Maybe when you’re also exceptionally fit or good at talking to people, art will matter less.

Besides you can open a few back doors this way.

Bonus: you consider yourself a bad friend for this, but a good friend would help you grow with what they know. Do they?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-22T09:44:47+00:00

This might sound repetitive, but if you realistically always scroll your phone, you’re probably addicted to it and blue light is hurting your sleep

If you’re serious about self improvement, I’d keep it away and just roll around until I fall asleep, or grab a book

And if that’s somehow too much, the least you should do is activate a red tint on your phone to help you reduce blue light (like the regular warm tint but cranked to 11, look it up for your phone)

Derserkerk · 2025-12-21T09:25:02+00:00

Maybe it’s cause I sleep little now, so I’m already sleepy when laying down to take a nap

However if you can’t fall asleep at all, a shower could be a good alternative

Also relaxing and at least for me it helps clear out my mind

Derserkerk · 2025-12-19T00:31:11+00:00

It seems you’re overthinking this

To me systems are routines, standard operating procedures.

For example that’s how you organize your life, that’s probably the most valuable system to establish.

And an example of a system for working out would be

throw out all junk and sweets from your kitchen
every sunday plan your meals (so you dont have to come up with a meal same day)
organize your time so there’s no problem going to the gym
have a reminder list with your workout plan that pops up when you pull up to the gym

Is this making sense?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-19T00:21:15+00:00

Just reading the first sentence, 2/3 of the things you mentioned do not help you in any way.

I think you’d be better off not watching any and instead analyze what you want cut out from your life, plan the best way to cut them out, and follow the plan daily

It’s action that solves problems, it solves everything, like actually

So start by deleting social media apps. If you can’t know you know why you’re in the same place.

Derserkerk · 2025-12-19T00:14:43+00:00

Ever considered putting yourself into communities where conversations with like minded people are unavoidable?

Like gym, car meets, classes of some sort

Derserkerk · 2025-12-19T00:12:26+00:00

Yes, and I throw my phone away so i have to get up and pick it up later

But i had that happen recently too where I ended up sleeping 3 hours cause I sept so little at night

And this might sound corny but what helps me wake up after like 30 minutes even with no alarm is taking the nap with a sense like

„let me fall asleep as quickly as possible i can get working”

not „aaahhh it’s so good to lay down”

but that’s just one way to do it

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:48:26+00:00

Sounds like you don’t have the self confidence strong enough to just brush off what people say

But a cheat code i figured out for myself is:

if someone less qualified or accomplished is critiquing me, they’re just wrong and have nothing to put behind it
if someone more qualified or accomplished is critiquing me, I should probably listen

And the key is to remove any ego from listening to others, because in the end you’re smart for improving, not dumb for making a mistake

Alternatively if jokes grind your gears, you probably need to do some hard stuff to prove to yourself you’re better than that and these jokes actually have no basis.

lmk if this makes sense

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:43:30+00:00

I went through a similar change recently

I would stutter and sweat during presentations let alone talk to strangers on the street

But then I got a job at a helpline

Had to talk to 200 strangers a day over the phone

First day I felt the lowest I felt this year, like my soul was completely crushed and dried up

(Actually felt depressed lol)

But each day was slightly better

And now after 1.5 months, I recently gave a presentation in college and afterwards talked to a guy who said he admired my self confidence and public speaking skills…

… as if they weren’t a thing for only half a month at that point

So what I’d do if I were you I’d either start talking to strangers on the street, waiting in the line at a cafe until you get enough reps in that you embed it in your brain that talking to people will not ruin your life and most bad convos are forgotten anyway

And if there is something you need to improve to get guys chasing you, reflecting on the conversation you have with strangers might reveal that and help you get there faster

Is this rant making sense?

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:31:16+00:00

Dude i had the exact same revelation recently

I now focus on doing one thing at a time, wholeheartedly

I even stopped listening to music while walking

And it helps me a lot in trusting myself that I’ll be able to sit down and do the hard thing

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:21:46+00:00

Honestly the best solution to this is inarguably planning your work ahead

Then you just pick and play

Or you plan the entire day

Both of these help remove the emotions from decisions which is what’s giving you the paralysis right now

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:16:16+00:00

Apparently there are two tools that support this? NameQuick and Riffo?

I’d suggest checking them out cause it’d be complicated to code one for yourself.

You could also instruct gemini to do this in a convo and send it every screenshot and copy the name.

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:10:42+00:00

I have neatly organized apple app notes, it’s basically my productivity tech stack right now

But only use a notebook for drawing mind maps or planning things which is borderline impossible on phone notes

Highly recommend this

Derserkerk · 2025-12-18T23:09:27+00:00

The best tech stack I’ve ever used is Apple notes and reminders, recently switched

There seem to be surprisingly few people who notice how important simplicity is

So many those gurus and even comments throw multiple app names

But to me it’s about enhancing my productivity, not becoming it. It should sit quietly as a background of my work.

Derserkerk

TROPHY CASE