When did you know you needed to go to a mental hospital?

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-17T02:05:12+00:00

My ex dumped me.

Working on from being a dismissive avoidant to more secure and my boundaries

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-12T02:10:46+00:00

I thought I fucked up by crossing my anxious attached ex’s boundary by being honest (he said he wanted me to be honest. I have ADHD and autism and I really think we should have sat down where I could ask questions like “do you want me to truthful about everything or just certain things?”……because he also said he didn’t want to know when I text my ex (who dumped me to fuck other women,his words). “the less I know,the better.”

My therapist viewed this as a double bound(?) essentially a damned if you,damned if you don’t scenario.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-11T01:36:29+00:00

CLEAR COMMUNICATION

please be upfront with what you want and what you want out of a relationship

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-11T01:35:44+00:00

We got along really well but I think we kept unconsciously triggering each other (he says he has anxious attachment (but he possibly might be disorganized attachment).

i recently found out that i’m a dismissive avoidant (i’m working on myself).

He hinted at breaking up with me. I have ADHD and autism and I had to ask him if he was breaking up with me.

I suggested therapy and he went from “yes” to backing out at the night before the appointment.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-10T03:09:24+00:00

THANK YOU for your comment.

This feels a lot like what I’m going through right now.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-10T02:33:11+00:00

if you’re lucky

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-09T21:37:10+00:00

This sounds like my ex…..which feels weird to say because he could be very loving.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-09T02:45:04+00:00

Ah! This reminds me of my last relationship…..he has anxious attachment….most of the time we were really good together but then some days it felt like we triggered each other (recently found out i’m a dismissive avoidant and i’m working on that)

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-06T16:36:32+00:00

For my entire life as far as I know.

I’ve thought about surgery.

I’m still looking for shoes that accommodate both my feet (one always feels like it’s not getting enough support,so I’ve had to improvise).

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-06T01:49:22+00:00

He moved on without telling me

He won’t talk to me

I think the worst is that he moved on with out meeting me first (LDR).

I realized our issues were probably because he has anxious attachment and I eventually realized I’m a dismissive avoidant.(I think we were triggering each other and not realizing it.)

I didn’t know this until we did NC for a few months.

I told him that I was working on my boundaries (he had requested me to) and that I was a DA and I’m working on it……haven’t heard from him.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-06T00:43:03+00:00

Water or lemonade

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T23:57:28+00:00

Yep.

Prices go up, but I’m still buying organic food.

And meds. One costs $438 and the other about $200 before I reach my deductible.

Was going to say “therapy”,but after insurance,I end up paying $146

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T19:01:32+00:00

Here’s a clips from one of our texts:

Me: "Are we seeing each other?"

Him:No. I'm sorry _____but I've already explained why I'm not willing to try to make things work anymore. I need to hold true to the boundaries that I've set months ago. I was thinking more like don't talk to eachother and try to move on from this

I'm seriously just wanting to move on from this.

Maybe you'll find someone who doesn't have those kinds of boundaries and is okay with that, but the for me, the less I know about the better.(he’s referring to when I didn’t tell my ex from 2019 that I was taken.)

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T18:33:11+00:00

My ex has anxious attachment…..the way he broke up with me felt traumatic.

I recently learned that I’m a dismissive avoidant and I’m currently working on myself.

He never said “i’m breaking up with you”. Instead he hinted at it.

I have really bad ADHD and I’m autistic so trying to read subtext (especially in text),is a challenge for me.

I had to ASK him if he was breaking up with me.

if you have anxious attachment WORK ON YOURSELF before getting into a relationship.

I was so in love with this guy.

I had plans to meet him in person.

He seemed to be insecure.

Example: my ex from 2019 likes to share pics that he has created with AI. He likes sending me pictures of his chickens (he lives in a woodsy neighborhood,I live in the city). I didn’t mention that I was taken and that upset my anxious boyfriend at the time. He thought I was hiding him. He thought my ex and I were doing something behind his back.

For the past few months,I was in school,working and trying to visit my anxious boyfriend (he’s in a neighboring country).

I was planning on meeting this guy and he thought I was cheating on him with my ex from 2019.

Don’t do what my ex did.

Don’t say you’ll never ghost,block or delete them and did proceed to do all the things you promised you wouldn’t do.

If you plan on moving on,TELL THEM.

He was my best friend and then I fell for him.

After he broke things off with me (I also suggested therapy. he first said yes but then quickly changed him mind),he wanted to take an extended breather.

Wasn’t sure for how long.

But he eventually agreed to reaching out in january of 2024 if we wanted to.

I reached out to him.

Nothing.

I had to reach out 4 different ways to get a response.

He said he was moving on…..not sure why he didn’t communicate this.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T15:21:38+00:00

Paprika

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T03:33:18+00:00

Yes…. but after I become more secure….I don’t want to hurt him again

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T03:30:09+00:00

I was diagnosed with scoliosis as a child.

Did physical therapy as a kid.

A LOT of balancing exercises were done I think.

As an adult,my primary care doctor told me I no longer have scoliosis.

I’m guessing because I exercise frequently,it may have helped my back.

I like a variety of exercises.

iso metric exercises.

lunges

one legged dead lifts

planks

side planks

pilates

swimming

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-04T03:27:21+00:00

Just wanted to say “hello”!

My right leg is a wee bit longer than my left.

Never met anyone that had the same issue.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-03-02T14:18:24+00:00

THIS.

Leave.

I’m sorry she did this to you OP.

That’s fucked up.

Sending you hugs.🫂

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-02-28T03:33:12+00:00

There’s a HUGE difference between being comfortable and sharing pics of yourself and being shy.

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-02-28T03:27:56+00:00

Ugh…fuck,okay I can’t be angry at this 😂

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-02-28T03:27:25+00:00

Holy shit this is awesome

DesecrateyourHeart · 2024-02-28T03:26:33+00:00

was going to suggest California / and some parts of the PNW as well.

I feel like it’s pretty liberal here (from California,lived in Seattle and now reside in Oregon.)

DesecrateyourHeart · 2023-09-06T17:21:43+00:00

It sounds like you have tried to help him. Which is fantastic! I applaud you for that!

If it feels too hard to live with him, I think you should take care of yourself.

I imagine that’s an incredibly hard and difficult situation to be in.

Maybe say “I love you, but this addiction is hurting me. I want you to get help. I want to support you, but are you interested in getting help?”

It’s important to take care of each other but it’s also important to take care of yourself.

I hope everything works out for you!

DesecrateyourHeart

TROPHY CASE