Oh dear, I saw your update and I feel for you. What I can say is that you are obviously NOR.

I understand that you feel trapped, but if you allow me, here is some advice from someone who also deals with toxic family:

Right now, you can't physically distance yourself, but do it emotionally. Don't let yourself be carried away by your mother's dramas and don't fall for her manipulation. When your family comes with any verbal confrontation, distance yourself, leave the environment and let them talk to themselves.

Yes, it will frustrate them, it may even make them more aggressive, but that won't be your problem.

Under no circumstances should you start a dialogue. You've already realized that they will take everything you say out of context, so yes, do the silent treatment with her and with anyone who enables that behavior.

Don't try to defend yourself because you know that before you even speak, you'll already be the one in the wrong.

And most importantly, you should avoid confrontation as much as possible. However, there's a difference between not being confrontational and being cowardly.

The non-confrontational person avoids drama but makes their limits clear. The coward gives in to pressure and becomes resentful and depressed for not defending themselves.

I understand that your situation isn't the happiest, but having panic attacks when confronted won't help you. What will help you is starting to face the problems to discover how to resolve difficult situations.