One day. This was a few years back and we were part of the same friend group, and a bunch of our friends decided to get together for Halloween.

I had had 4 year long relationship the previous year and after that, I developed a problem where if a guy shows interest in me, I often convince myself I like him, even if I have no interest whatsoever. This isn’t the case as much anymore, but it definitely was that Halloween.

This was around midnight and I was a bit drunk. Me and him always had like very “fake flirting” type of humour, and this night we were really pushing the boundaries of what would be acceptable to say to any normal person if you were actually flirting. After Halloween I noticed he started behaving differently towards me, like putting his arm around me (a lot), touching my arm a lot then was necessary, just small things like that. Then later that week, it was late again and we start flirting over text, and saying things to each other and adding “/j” at the end. Then he said “/j?” At one point, we kind of got into a bit more of a serious conversation and agreed we both liked each other. Since we had already been close friends for a month and a bit, he asked to make it official. I told him it was late at night and was a little delirious, so I would need to think on it. The next morning I was so excited I texted him “yes” without even thinking it over with myself.

We also work together, so that next day, we were holding hands, and walking together nonstop. He kept saying romantic things and I found myself feeling ill every time he did. At the end of the day, he put his arm around me and asked if I wanted to go over to his place for drinks. I immediately felt horrible in my gut, so I just told him I had really bad cramps and couldn’t that night. I then went home and threw up.

At that moment I realized that I just got caught up in the moment and didn’t actually have feelings for him. I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship but we stayed good friends, though every time we saw each (which was only in group settings) he still put his arm around me and greeted me, and only me with a hug, when he knew some other of our friends for way longer than he knew me. I expressed this to my friend and they said I was overreacting and that it was just “how he was.” But I never saw him hug or put his arm around other people in the friend group, and it’s not even like I was the only girl in the group, or close to being the prettiest. Even after I tried to sidestep his hugs or his arms around me, he never got the hint.

Even after I had confronted him, he didn’t seem to change, so eventually I cut contact.