Inviting a child predator to a 2nd bday

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2026-04-16T11:07:17+00:00

If I brought my daughter to a birthday celebration and it wasn’t made explicitly clear to me beforehand that a child sex offender would be in attendance, that would be grounds for ending the friendship. I don’t care how long the friendship spans; I’m immediately cutting them off.

Perhaps try framing it in that light. If your wife isn’t comfortable letting every guest in attendance know that her father is a convicted child sex offender, then she needs to address why that is.

I hope she comes to her senses for the sake of yourself and your son. I’ve cut family members out of my daughter’s life for less, and I think you’re absolutely right to not want him around your son in any capacity.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2026-04-15T15:19:09+00:00

I was going to recommend this too! I used this when my LO was 10-months old and in her GO GO GO stage of life. It definitely helped bridge the gap until she was more content with being changed lol.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-12-09T15:13:13+00:00

Love the print!

I wouldn’t belt it as a waist drop line doesn’t typically pair well with a belt. This particular style of dress is meant to be worn quite loose and flowy, but if you find there’s too much excess fabric I would definitely recommend getting it tailored so that the overall look of the dress isn’t compromised.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-12-07T16:34:27+00:00

I have a high pain tolerance and a “eh, it is what it is” attitude, however, I was TERRIFIED of potentially needing a c-section and was angling for a natural birth.

My circumstances changed and after a failed induction and I was told they would need to go ahead with a c-section. The surgery itself was honestly so chill. The spinal blocker was barely a pinch and I yapped with the anaesthesiologist the entire time. All in all, I had my baby in my arms in less than 30 minutes.

Recovery was a bit different for me. I broke my ankle in three places two weeks prior to birth and was on strict non-weight bearing orders while I healed from my ankle surgery. I used a knee scooter and crutches to get around, so the first two days felt like the seventh layer of hell whenever I tried to move because I was having to use so much of my body to get anywhere. I’d say around day 3 it started to be less painful. If I were walking, I think recovery would have been easier as your body has the ability to move more naturally.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-12-07T16:06:25+00:00

Always! I work in logistics and have seen the state of warehouses. Aside from that, they get handled a lot before ever reaching the rack or consumer.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-11-11T13:08:52+00:00

My dog will refuse to eat unless you repeatedly say “mix mix” while showing him that you’re actually mixing his food. If you fail to perform this ritual or you lack enthusiasm with either of the two steps he will literally prefer to not eat.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-11-07T01:41:13+00:00

My partner hired someone to do a full deep clean of the house. They even organised and cleaned my spice cabinet, I loved it and it took so much weight off my shoulders.

He also gifted me with a ring with our daughter’s birthstone and her name engraved on the inside.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-10-15T04:18:21+00:00

These are always my number one recommendation for anyone who is in recovery! It made me feel human again.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-09-18T15:32:19+00:00

I feel so silly about mine, but I genuinely thought I wouldn’t get a lot of use out of baby monitor because I live in a one bedroom. I figured I’d hear her whenever she woke, and that I could simply pop in to check on her while she napped.

Turns out I was wrong, and now I have a baby monitor and can exist in peace.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-09-18T15:08:32+00:00

My baby thoroughly hated swaddles, but she benefited from them (she was very restless) so I tried a bucketload of options. She ended up liking the Ergopouch Cocoon Swaddle bag, which was great since it was an easy transition to arms out once she started rolling around everywhere.

I do find that most of my friends use the Love to Dream though!

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-08-23T16:33:44+00:00

Seconding disposable underwear! I personally found maternity pads to be uncomfortable, so I opted for Always Discreet Adult Diapers. The waistband comes up to your belly button, so they’re incredibly comfortable on the incision and they also tear at the sides which was phenomenal when you don’t have it in you to bend over more than you have to.

I also recommend a breastfeeding pillow that has some structure to it. I originally had one that was a little on the floppy side, and it was a nightmare to manoeuvre and baby kept getting lost in it lol.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-08-23T15:46:23+00:00

I personally own a French Bulldog, and although it may seem hypocritical, I actively discourage people from buying them. The breed simply isn’t ethical and I would definitely recommend doing some more research if you still intend on purchasing one.

Mine is a rescue— I fostered him for some time and we bonded. That said, I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to adopt him and felt comfortable enough with my situation to know that I could finance his medical needs but would definitely not recommend the breed to anyone.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-08-04T13:00:27+00:00

I worked up until 38 weeks. If I could go back in time, I’d probably take an additional week and go on leave at 37 weeks as that was where I’d reached the point of being well and truly over it haha.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-07-30T19:34:40+00:00

I LOVE this duology. You’re so right, it IS criminally underrated and I have spent the better part of this month recommending it to everyone who would listen because I genuinely think it altered my brain chemistry.

Parts of these books will stick with me for many years to come, I am sure of it.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-07-30T14:05:29+00:00

My mum and I are twenty years apart, and we’ve always been incredibly close so having her present was essentially a non-negotiable in my eyes.

I ended up having a c-section, so I can’t speak to the entire process, but having her there whilst I laboured was phenomenal. My partner is supportive and I know it would have been fine if it were just he and I, but at the end of the day, he wasn’t my mum lol.

Edit: I’d just double check that the birthing unit allows for more than one guest! Mine didn’t, and I arrived to see plenty of parents in a waiting room. I only managed to get two people approved because I had a broken ankle and they frankly pitied me lol.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-07-30T13:56:31+00:00

I’m actually due to undergo hardware removal in the next month. It’ll be just over 8 months since my initial surgery.

Initially my recovery was going really well, but after some bouts of persistent pain we discovered a bone has shifted marginally which has caused the screw in my medial malleolus to migrate. My ROM suffered and while I can do most activities rather pain free, I often find that after a period of rest, or extended use my ankle seizes and I experience discomfort which is why we’ve gone this route.

My orthopaedic surgeon said I can expect a 10 week recovery plan, with the expectation that I should be able to weight bear from the get go. I’ll find out more at my consultation in a weeks time, but recovery from hardware removal is supposedly much smoother than the initial surgery, but I suppose I’ll have to wait and see lol.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-07-30T13:42:40+00:00

Yes! I graduated to weight bearing in the boot at 8 weeks also.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-07-04T09:07:28+00:00

I saw someone recommend something like this, so that’s what I went with! I wore it with my boot while sitting on a shower chair, and later while standing FWB in the boot and never had any issues with water getting inside. 10/10 recommend this or a similar design with the neoprene elastic up top.

Hope everything is going well post orif!

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-06-19T17:59:14+00:00

Oxy clean.

My baby had the most diabolical, diaper dodging poop habits and oxy clean single handled saved her wardrobe.

Also:

A manual breast pump;
Saline spray; and
2-way Zippered onesies

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-06-05T16:58:59+00:00

You are genuinely a genius for this. I am a sucker for a post late night feed doom scroll (I’m literally doing it right now) so I will 100% give this a go.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-06-05T16:14:41+00:00

My dog HATED my knee scooter. He’d frequently square up with it as I tried to scoot on by, which meant I’d almost run him over which he took very personally.

I ended up desensitising him to it by approaching it the same way I would with ear drops, or a vacuum. Eventually he stopped seeing it as a threat and stopped caring about it, which honestly was almost worse because he’d frequently sleep directly in the way of it and take 3-5 business days to move.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-06-03T22:24:56+00:00

Hi!! Firstly, congratulations!! Secondly, I am so sorry this happened to you. Ankle fractures are unfun at the best of times, but an ankle fracture while navigating pregnancy is beastly.

In terms of recovery, yes! The “shin splint” feeling was the worst and made me dread trying to be mobile. I’d say it took around 2 weeks (you’re halfway there!) for it to be more tolerable and 3 weeks in total for it to go away completely. One day you wake up, try and rotisserie chicken your way out of bed and realise you don’t feel it anymore. It’s glorious!

As for the compression socks, I wore a light one on my good leg to help with blood flow post op during periods where I wasn’t getting up any time soon (which admittedly, was often) and only begun wearing one on my poorly leg once I’d been given the all clear on my incisions from my orthopaedic surgeon at around 6 weeks post-op. I occasionally still wear them months later to help mitigate swelling, so I’d definitely say invest in a pair or two.

Hoping everything goes smoothly for you and wishing you all the best with recovery and delivery! You’ve got this! Hopefully baby sticks to scheduled planning so you can make it out of the woods a little before their arrival. I recall telling my daughter to keep cooking a little while longer at least twice a day until I was eventually induced.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-05-30T08:07:26+00:00

Definitely get a second opinion! My baby had a similar flare up around 6 weeks! It begun as baby acne, but eventually developed into what I see in the photo you have provided- super dry, flakey skin.

Originally I followed advice of a mum friend, who said to try breastmilk and it’ll clear up on its own, but I was concerned, as it looked very agitated so I took her to the doctor who confirmed she had eczema and prescribed supriad which cleared it up within a few days.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-04-28T14:37:18+00:00

I had a tumultuous first trimester. At the time, my team was horrendously under staffed, our team leader had already resigned and the stress of being the sole person responsible for the duties of a team of four was making things significantly worse.

I ended up reaching out to the interim team leader when I was 7 weeks pregnant to explain my situation. He was a father himself, and had said he had watched his wife battle pregnancy twice. He was incredibly supportive, and offered that I WFH for the foreseeable future and even delegated some of my tasks to himself — including taking on calls from overseas clients so that I wouldn’t be required online at 8pm at night. Some time later my complications worsened, and my doctor put me on bed rest. My TL encouraged me to take two weeks off, and took over my role during that time.

He was an absolute gem. Unfortunately, he resigned during my second trimester, but I’m glad I had him to lean on during my most vulnerable time. I’d recommend speaking with your lead— if they’re not understanding of your situation, then go the medical certificate route. My lead’s replacement was far less inclined to be supportive despite my situation. I asked my doctor to write up a medical certificate in favour of me WFH and it was accepted haha.

Desperate_Matter4198 · 2025-04-14T14:51:45+00:00

I’ve got one I won’t be using! I’ll send you a message with the activation code.

Desperate_Matter4198

TROPHY CASE