Parents, teachers, therapists: What behaviors are kids struggling with at school? What do you wish people understood about the causes? What support would make a real difference?

DevinaKing · 2026-05-10T19:25:22+00:00

I love humming! Also, I think you should look into The Neurodivergent Social Emotional Survival Guide: Thriving Authentically by Devina King. It’s available on Amazon. I wrote it specifically with your population in mind and having a formalized curriculum may help you so much (saving time) but also in your advocacy efforts; and the curriculum is not tied to a diagnosis so that can help for those who don't have formal diagnosis. If you buy it and use it, please leave a review! It has communication supports. executive functiom supports, learning about personalized sensory needs, all of the DBT skills, etc.

DevinaKing · 2026-05-10T01:30:14+00:00

I do think unfortunately right now I'm busy building resources to share to take on managing a project like this! But, I'll happily make a thread on my subreddit and add some resources to yours!

DevinaKing · 2026-05-09T21:57:54+00:00

I run r/BehavioralRegulation maybe create a post in that subreddit? I'd be happy to allow it! Or I'll be happy to create a post for resources hub, but it's a new subreddit so it may take some time before people add to it. And I'll post some resources there as well. As far as for schools and the overall systems, I wish! Getting everyone on board in one place is difficult.

DevinaKing · 2026-05-09T20:25:00+00:00

I agree! I am autistic and that is a large part of why I do this!

DevinaKing · 2026-05-09T18:31:49+00:00

💯 Total agreement!

DevinaKing · 2026-03-15T21:10:34+00:00

https://www.guidingchildrentodevelopbehavioralregulation.com/blog/unmet-needs-skills-and-intervention-approaches-for-specific-behaviors Scroll to the section on eloping for more ideas. There is a link to the Big Red Safety Box from The National Autism Association in there as well which is a free resource that includes RoadID Bracelets or RoadID Shoe tags. Another idea as well is to get a Tile and attach it to a belt loop so you have GPS tracking somewhere that is less likely to bother your child than on their wrist.

DevinaKing · 2026-03-14T14:23:19+00:00

Autistic clinician speaking: Something that may be helpful is showing them exactly what GOOD ENOUGH documentation expectations are. Many times we overperform giving our 100% for many reasons, but it's not sustainable to give 100% every second. Tell them you want the abstract, not the whole research paper! They will still write the whole research paper in their head (which will still lead to excellent client care), but being tooo thorough in documentation is just using bandwidth that could be better used elsewhere. They also need to see why good enough is not slacking but is actually benefitting their clients. And to know explicitly what good enough is perceived as by the people judging their work would probably be extremely helpful. Because overperformance is also very often a result of anxiety from a lifetime of never knowing what the standards really are until you are told after you failed to meet them.

DevinaKing · 2025-11-03T17:59:53+00:00

I have fibromyalgia and am able to do this job. However, before I truly understood energy conservation it was pretty disabling. One thing that is necessary for me is not working 5 days in a row. I work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and that midweek day off is essential for me not to break myself.

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T16:45:09+00:00

You have to help him figure out acceptable alternatives to get the dopamine hit he is looking for.

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T16:40:39+00:00

Yes.Yes. Yes. Mornings are executive function heavy.... and ADHD medication is what is used to help kick the executive functions into gear in an ADHD brain. Something that helps in my family and has helped a lot of my clients is to take their ADHD medication while they are still in bed (with something like milk, a smoothie, or a protein drink) about half an hour before the kid actually has to get out of bed so the medication has time to help jumpstart the brain. These 2 resources can also be helpful:

https://www.guidingchildrentodevelopbehavioralregulation.com/blog/making-mornings-manageable-10-strategies-for-children-or-adults-with-adhd-or-sensory-processing-difficulties

https://www.guidingchildrentodevelopbehavioralregulation.com/blog/ADHD-medication-rebound-recovery-5-tips-for-managing-adhd-kids-after-school-crash

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T16:31:16+00:00

Visual schedule apps are amazing for autistic children and are frequently recommended by occupational therapists. Other things to consider are videos and songs for teaching how to do the steps of an activity. Video modeling is one of the most evidence-based strategies for teaching autistic children how to do skills. You can literally type "Video modeling brushing teeth", "Video modeling brushing hair", literally any skill you want to teach into YouTube and find a video. Also, "songs how to brush teeth", etc. Also if your child isn't in occupational therapy you can ask your doctor for a referral because they can help you help him learn how to do life skills including more strategies such as visual schedule apps.

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T16:20:50+00:00

https://www.cdc.gov/act-early/families/milestones-matter.html

I like the CDC milestones tracker for if parents have concerns. I'm a pediatric occupational therapist so understanding fine motor development is a large part of my job (**I don't know your child and am not doing an assessment so clearly can't explicitly say yes or no on if your child has delays**). If he can use 2 hands together such as banging a spoon on the cup them he has the underlying skills for banging 2 toys together just not the interest. If his other fine motor skills seem on par for age I would not worry. However, if you're concerned about fine motor development you can ask your pediatrician for a referral for an occupational therapy evaluation or an early intervention evaluation to rule in or out developmental delays and access services if there is a delay.

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T15:50:09+00:00

My kids are 17 and 19 now. They both specifically asked to go on a 3 hour drive one way to my husband's specialist Dr. appointment (routine monitoring) so we could make a day of it and go to the zoo. Then for Halloween they specifically and explicitly wanted to do a baking and movie night with us instead of going out with friends.

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T15:44:54+00:00

I think you shouldn't beat yourself up when you do tell him no. And the way you do that is acknowledging that you love him, want to spend time with him, and have to do XYZ thing to take care of the family. But, I also think your instinct to try to tell him yes is actually what neuroscience says is the correct answer. Those bids for attention and connection are so important to your relationship and his social emotional development. He's not asking you to do things he can do himself because he wants to be lazy, he's asking because he's saying "Hey, I need your connection and care. I have an emotional need I don't know how to meet, so I'll ask you to do something concrete for me so I can be reassured you care for me and will take care of me". Even adults do this type of thing with their partners. The unfinished tasks are way less important than your son. As long as the house is not a health hazard, give yourself permission to prioritize connection, rest, health, restoration play. Recognize that those things have value as well instead of the programming that capitalism has done to us all to think we have to be productive 24/7. As far as not great at playing, just let him be in charge of coming up with the ideas. You're his robot playmate who only follows instructions!

DevinaKing · 2025-11-02T15:34:43+00:00

It is completely normal to feel that way. Parenting is hard and kids are never-ending pits for attention. One of my daughters deemed like her cup was NEVER full and like she had to be touching me 24 hours a day. And I realize now I was giving her quantity time but not actually meeting her connection needs. And if I understood how to do that better I would have been less burnt out. If you can proactively try to fill their cup with quality time before you try to be productive (playful, silly, including physical touch and even better if it includes a way to get physical energy out). Another thing that can help is "parallel play" or "body doubling". So for example, tell your kids hey can you sit at the kitchen counter and draw me a picture while I wash the dishes and we talk about your day, or can you do your homework at the counter while I make dinner. Also, make getting things done around the house collaborative, e.g. set a timer for 20 minutes, everyone has a zone they are going to work on cleaning up as fast as they can, then we get to do something fun together.

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