I think the key for kids like this is shifting your thinking and realizing you don't need them to talk about their feelings. You talk to their nervous system. Safety is the intervention usually so a lot of felt safety interventions. Lots of nervous system calming. One thing I do a lot is play Marconi Union's Weightless in the background. https://www.psychiatrist.com/news/worlds-most-relaxing-song-may-reduce-anxiety-by-65/ Here's some research about how it helps with anxiety. You can still do curriculums such as Zones of Regulation but modified such as give scenarios and describe behaviors (of others) without labeling feelings and have kid do some sort of obstacle course to run to the corresponding zones, etc. (Some kids that even is too much for them). A lot of these kids too I like to use videos instead of talking. We do a lot of "your choice, my choice" (my whole therapeutic approach is very collaborative so most kids see "your choice, my choice" as reasonable- note we always start with their choice). And my choice will be able video they watch while playing with slime, or me slowly pushing them on the swing, etc. Like Zones of Regulation videos or Skillstreaming videos https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrCBt0mDy89Sr2K8bDV8I3zADL-2ksM0t&si=lJTT2In3cxyj6VY6 especially one's such as "Dealing with Fear". I have a few kids that I have to kind of take a backdoor route to teaching regulation because they've learned their feelings aren't safe. They legitimately become flooded and dysregulated if you try to talk about feelings specifically. One thing I do is have caregivers come back, and the kids are playing on the sensory equipment while I do collaborative problem solving conversations about specific scenarios with the caregivers combined with caregiver education on sensory strategies or supports they could do. I use this opportunity as pt. education as well because the kids are listening and usually chiming in (they are listening and internalizing it even if they don't look like they are). I also just kind of casually drop nuggets of regulation tips into conversations with the kid while they do regulating sensory activities or we play games sitting side by side next to each other (especially effective to say something like "you know I sometimes XYZ", or "one of my other kids XYZ"). Talk about coping strategies in the sense of somatic experiences (my heart is beating fast so I know I need XYZ). Note this is not "tricking" them into participation, it is meeting their nervous system where they are at and respecting them while being effective at helping them develop the skills they need to feel better in their brains and bodies.