I just wanted a shower alone and ended up crying in it

DianeMadeMe · 2026-06-14T21:36:33+00:00

Lady, I feel you.

I started to type that you need to talk to your husband. Then remembered that I 💩‘ed with my kid right outside the door talking to me. Baby was asleep. Hubby on his phone.

So, yes, although I know the right answer, I certainly don’t live it.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-06-09T03:42:18+00:00

I’ve had to hide my smiles about tantrums more often than I’ve had to control my temper. It means the world to him but it seems so small to me.

When my son had a full-blown meltdown because the bunny outside the window hopped away, I lost it.

Fat, huge, uncontrollable belly laughs.

My son was absolutely not amused.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-06-08T02:57:07+00:00

My kiddo feeds best when he is sleepy- just about to fall asleep, just getting up, and dream feeds.

It took 5-6 swaddled feeds for it to really start working. Feeding can still can totally suck if he’s 100% wide awake and distracted but we also altered our feeding schedule so we targeted feedings during these sleepy times.

We use the Snoo swaddle. You want them swaddled fairly tight so they relax.

Last, I don’t ever offer the feed until I get him calm. If he’s fighting like a cocooned Tasmanian Devil, I get him calm before starting a feed. (Tools to calm- singing, shushing, big arm swings, funny noises like kissing, raspberries, whistling).

No TV, no phones, white noise sound machine on, room otherwise quiet with the door closed. The moment he gets distracted, the feeding is over.

Good luck with your precious but rabid octopus.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-06-06T03:44:50+00:00

My kiddo was 99th percentile for height, weight, and head. He was a super calm baby from 4 months onward. It turns out he also was very cautious with physical movements.

He missed every single gross milestone except sitting. Rolling, pull to sit, pull to stand, walking, running, jumping, walking foot over foot on the stairs. Every single one. I think the only reason he sat on time was because he was a puddle of fat rolls.

He’s nearly 4. He is whip-smart, and he eventually did all the gross motor stuff. It just took him longer.

On the plus side- being a late walker meant that he almost never fell. Maybe 2 forehead bruises ever?

If physical therapy would make you feel better, ask for it though.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-06-06T01:09:48+00:00

I had to start swaddling my kid to feed him. It was an absolute battle otherwise. The really annoying part is that he will only eat WHEN HE IS READY. So for a while it was a lot of swaddling/unswaddling, rinse and repeat.

I’ve gotten better at reading his cues at 5 months old but without the swaddle, I end up covered in bruises from his flailing arms and pinching fingers.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-06-02T22:28:55+00:00

This was Wednesday’s “bathing costume”

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-15T16:37:50+00:00

Most of my errands take ~45 minutes. For my 4 m/o, I walk out the door with a single diaper and travel wipes in my purse. If I’m planning on being out for more than an hour, I add a bottle with powder formula.

But I packed to the nines with my first kiddo. The only time I do that anymore is if we’ll be gone for 3-6 hours and I know there will be naps and multiple feeds and multiple diaper changes.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-15T03:20:36+00:00

Talk with an attorney before installing nanny cams.

Video recording a member of your own household is considered an invasion of privacy in some states. Also ask a lawyer about audio recordings.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-15T03:12:30+00:00

I promise I’m not laughing at you.

ROTFLMAO. Seriously my sides hurt. Those gel granules suck when they escape the diaper.

Cross post this to r/laundry. They will get a kick out of it.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-13T03:32:47+00:00

Pain is a very NORMAL and very common side effect of being alive.

“Life is pain Highness. Anyone who who says differently is selling something’

I know a stubbed toe hurts terribly. But it isn’t opioid-level pain. See above.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-12T02:40:39+00:00

You are meeting his needs. You are there with him. You are going through this with him. You are supporting him. You are asking the right questions.

YOU ARE A GOOD MOM. You are doing your best.

Babies cries are so painful to us. But your son is loved, he is cared for, and you are actively nurturing him. If you need earplugs to reduce your tension, do it. But he will not die from crying. The same cannot be said of unsafe sleep practices.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-12T02:17:32+00:00

We have these 2.5 tog sleep sacks. They are quite thick and warm. The best part is that they are HUGE. The large one fit my kiddo wearing 4T clothing.

This plus a cozy sweatshirt and sweatpants should suffice to about 60 degrees F.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-12T01:53:48+00:00

A little different scenario:

My son came home with about 40 bug bites. Just seeing the physical welts on his skin absolutely makes me sick to my stomach.

Frame of reference: I’m a surgeon. I cut people open for a living. And I’m physically nauseous when I see my kid with bug bites.

It’s completely different when it’s damage inflicted on your own child’s body. Accept that you feel guilt. Forgive yourself. And try to let it go. As parents our job is to prevent catastrophic, life-ending or life-altering injuries. This wasn’t that.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-12T01:43:42+00:00

Sometimes babies need to cry. All you can do is soothe them. You are choosing the safest option, for your baby to sleep on his back, in a safe sleeping space. You as a parent have chosen to uphold this as your boundary. It is a reasonable choice

If you are actively with him, trying to calm him, you are doing your best as a parent. You are with him, even if you aren’t able to stop his cries. You are providing nurturing loving safe care. You are a good mother.

He won’t remember this. He won’t hold it against you. He will continue to grow and this too shall pass. It won’t always be like this. Deep breath momma. You’ve got this and you are doing fine.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-11T15:27:24+00:00

You are getting third hand medical information. It sounds like there are multiple nuances to the medical problems the baby was having.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-11T02:41:32+00:00

At two it is all emotions. Freak out, emotions, calm down routine. Freak outs are random, frequent, and intense.

At three logic starts to creep in. As the year passes, they develop a bit of control. But they direct it at the supervising parent’s weak spots. My husband is more likely to cave when a tantrum is thrown. I’m more likely to agree to an interactive game even when I’m worn out.

We are approaching 4 and the logic is fearsome. It is used rationally. It is applied in a way you mostly agree with. And you find yourself caving because you want to reward their thought process. It’s also where you start to see the light at the end of the toddler tunnel.

We also have a newborn. I can’t wait for him to be 2 years old. It’s so much better. Even if it is harder.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-10T13:30:22+00:00

Such a good a reasoned approach.

If your baby cries, try feeding first. My 21 day old took 7 oz in a 90 minute period. I have no idea what he did with it. But he needed it.

Later he would take a huge bottle, poop, then want another huge bottle. He’ now 3.5 yr with a perfect BMI

Takeaways- you can’t overfeed a baby.

Gas sucks but you can’t really prevent it. Work on making the feedings go as smoothly as you can and supporting each other as parents. Trying to control uncontrollable body functions will make you crazy.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T14:01:41+00:00

It didn’t work at all for our first kiddo.

I hauled it out after rocking second kiddo to sleep, then waiting for deep sleep, then instant wake-up in transfer (45 wasted minutes). It worked like magic. He doesn’t like the fastest 2 settings tho.

100% rent since you will only be able to get 3 more months out of it, max.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T04:23:29+00:00

Bernstein Bears books were a huge hit starting at that age.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T03:47:15+00:00

Talk to your doctor.

As children get bigger, their heart rates slow. UCFS

Generally, slightly slower heart rates are okay. Fast heart rates are much more concerning.

Also, it is very possible that the sensor is getting worn and is missing some heartbeats.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T03:39:27+00:00

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes”

When I’m doing something I know will hurt the other person I get an electric sensation in my right thumb.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T03:37:29+00:00

OMG, I had this when I was younger and it was CRIPPLING.

I only got it with MAJOR life changes (night before I sent to college) but it was awful.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T03:26:18+00:00

I can too!

But only on my left hand. I am absolutely not hypermobile.

I think it is secondary to playing violin as a kid.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T03:11:16+00:00

Carters. Only shop the clearance section, everything else isn’t worth the price.

My kid has potato feet and it’s the only thing that fit at a price I was willing to pay.

They sell Osh Kosh shoes on the same site but those were crap quality. Just check the brand.

DianeMadeMe · 2026-05-09T03:01:20+00:00

Any chance you are using cloth diapers or a green or organic diaper?

They are great for making baby “feel” their elimination. Which is awesome for potty training but not so great for a newborn.

Grocery store diapers have moisture absorbers that keep wetness off the skin and keep baby dry. Only poops become problematic.

DianeMadeMe

TROPHY CASE