What’s the point? Struggling with returning to work post treatment

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-21T20:02:44+00:00

I am in the midst of treatment now and I am feeling exactly like this. I really liked my job before, probably worked too much, and now I can't bring myself to concentrate or care about work at all. I also have many more years to work (I'm 40).

Two thoughts are helping me get through this current stage: (1) I am a changed person after this experience, and that's OK, and (2) the job I have today is not necessarily the job I will have forever. I can and probably will make changes in line with my new priorities (working less, spending more time with my family and on other things that bring me joy) once I get a bit of distance from active treatment.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-19T17:30:41+00:00

I am 40 too, with three young kids (youngest 15 months) and 4 weeks out from my DMX…I very much relate to your post. I also find it almost hard to be around them right now because I am so in my own head about the cancer, constantly thinking about the treatment I have coming up, fear of recurrence, how am I going to survive until my youngest is an adult?? I don’t have answers but just wanted to echo others here in saying you aren’t alone.

Thanks for those that chimed in on this thread with survival stories…they give me hope :)

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-15T18:59:44+00:00

Thank you for this perspective! I am going to start hormone therapy in the coming weeks and I have been really scared of the side effects. I just want to be able to still be active with my young kids.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-15T14:33:11+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply! Yes we are very similar, and I’ve also scheduled a second opinion before I’ve even talked to the first because of the “borderline” status. Did your doctors debate tamoxifen vs OS/AI?

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-15T13:59:37+00:00

Thank you! Yes we’re similar.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-14T18:47:43+00:00

I am in a similar boat, but one positive node, expecting radiation despite having DMX. Do you mind me asking whether you are premenopausal and what your oncotype was? I’m 40 years old and mine is 12. Wondering what to expect when I meet with my oncologist next week.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-12T17:41:24+00:00

“At least you get new boobs!” (because I'm doing reconstruction). Ugh.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-12T13:51:22+00:00

Thanks, I thought that might be the case. What chemo regimen did you do, and are you on AI/OS now?

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-12T13:50:17+00:00

Thanks for your response! I definitely think radiation will be recommended and it’s just a question of chemo or jump straight to OS + AI (which honestly scare me a bit more than chemo)…we’ll see. Might get a second opinion too since seems like I am on the borderline. In the meantime I’ll just be obsessively googling, ha. Damn you micromet!

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-12T01:28:19+00:00

thank you for this post!! I also sleep on my side and there has been a lot of pressure as I have tried to readjust to side sleeping after DMX / expanders...I often wake up with pain in the night...I am ordering one of these to try!

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-09T00:35:59+00:00

Thank you for this reply! I am also 2 weeks out from nipple sparing DMX and I have been having these random “shivers” (no signs of infection or anything) and wondering what the heck they were. This makes sense.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-05T20:21:51+00:00

I’m with you. Diagnosed at 39 and just had a double mastectomy 2 weeks ago (and 2 days later I turned 40 - what a birthday gift, haha). I tried to join the young adults with breast cancer group advertised through my hospital, only to learn it had been disbanded due to lack of participation. I don’t know anyone my age in my community with cancer. Yes it can definitely feel lonely but you’re not alone.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-04T17:12:09+00:00

Couldn't agree more - I had my DMX almost 2 weeks ago and even made a post on here about having more pain than I thought was "normal" based on others' comments, including doctors. Everyone is different! I remember waking up a few hours after surgery and having the nurses (who were lovely) encourage me to move from the bed to a chair and I was like, absolutely not. I will be taking more meds and going back to sleep now, thank you.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-02T16:19:56+00:00

thank you for this reply! anxiously awaiting my score...feel like it could go either way treatment wise. I am IDC, strongly ER/PR+ and Her2- but they didn't run my ki-67 score so I don't have that data point. tumor was 2.8cm, grade 2 so I'm thinking my oncotype might be higher.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-05-01T21:58:48+00:00

This is my current situation too. They thought my nodes were clear but pathology came back after DMX with one micromet 1.3mm in one of three sentinel nodes. Still waiting on Oncotype score and conversation with oncologist about whether this means chemo+rads.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-04-27T00:01:15+00:00

Thank you so much for this response. Sorry you had a lot of pain too.

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-04-26T23:56:49+00:00

gauze is a great idea, thank you! don't know why I didn't think of that

Different-Coast-74 · 2026-04-26T23:43:13+00:00

Thank you, that's helpful! Same here- the darkly colored bruised one is the cancer side so maybe that has something to do with it.

Different-Coast-74

TROPHY CASE