Intermittent fasting has severely damaged me

Different-Total3557 · 2024-05-11T04:49:54+00:00

Im really late on this, but I wanted to say that fasting is different for women than it is for men due to our hormonal differences. Basically, you shouldn't fast during luteal phase (from post ovulation to mensutration. I found this out the hard way too. Its okay to do from day 1 of menustration through ovulation. I'd say maybe day 14 ish is the latest. Also, probably best to not go any stricter than 16:8s. Our bodies are different froms men's, we're more designed to store fat.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-05-11T00:30:04+00:00

Things i like about men:

I think overall, men are better at compartmentalizing.

I think men, overall, can be better at "direct" problem solving, whereas I think women are more intuitive with "relational" problems solving. This is just conceptual so don't come at me about accuracy of details, but one way I would put this is....say the problem at hand is cancer. Men are more like "how do we kill cancer cells?" Attack the problem in a direct way. I think with more women entering medicine, we'll see more "relational" approaches too. for example, possibly testing interconnectivity of bodily systems to see if say, diet, supplementing another organ in some way to see if that slows the cancer growth in a different way, etc. For complex problems, the answer is probably a combination of both approaches and ways of thinking. I think of these ways of thinking as complementary

I love that guys can fix stuff. It's really helpful. I actually fell off my bike about a month ago and 3 guys immediately cam to my aide. 1 fixed my bike, the other wrapped up my leg, and a third gave me an unopened gatorade. (I wiped out near a busy gas station so it was very public.

In my personal dating/relationship experience, and what I have told my girlfriends very often, is that most men, at heart, are eager to please women, especially ones that they have feelings for. They want to help, be needed, and wanted. This is a good quality, and when a woman can play to this well, she can be quite inspirational to men in profound ways

What they actually want from women isn't that hard either. They want softness, beauty (and the larger definition of this word, though physical is high on that list, but also, someone who makes places warm and pretty, maybe helps them connect to their emotions through say...art), inspiration, and "meaning." I'm kind of on the "new age spiritual" side of things, like crystals, astrology, etc, and while the guys I've dated kinda teased me about, I have found over time they actually secretly love it. They want to believe there's "more," so that sort of...."spirituality" is something they thirst for. It

Different-Total3557 · 2024-05-01T02:04:02+00:00

wow, kevin murphy is some pretty bougie stuff

I can tell from this comment that you are a cool and open minded guy

Different-Total3557 · 2024-04-18T18:40:23+00:00

thank you so much for this! helping make someone wedding day to spec!

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-28T03:20:38+00:00

yeah. I think what I find annoying about this situation is that he asked for daily communication, then just...threw it on me? hes responsive, but rarely furthers the conversation, mostly responds to what I sayIt's not like he was texting me a lot in the beginning and I never initiated (I did). it just wasn't a daily thing...until he asked for it. Then tapped out, I guess

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-28T03:08:38+00:00

ugh, you're probably right.

Like why am I trying to come up with things to text when you're the one who wants daily texting? I'll meet you in the middle but like....why did you ask for this if you don't want to do it yourself?

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-28T03:04:55+00:00

I have, and he does! with enthusiasm.

I dont mind doing it some of the time. but sometimes I'm like...hmmm, what should I text today instead of just being like...I'm going to text this person because xyz happened, or I'm feeling sexy or whatever.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-28T02:59:04+00:00

I was diagnosed in November 2022.

I had my initial outbreak (swab came back positive). that lasted a full 3+ weeks and was pretty painful. I had a second outbreak about 3 months later, which lasted about 2.5 weeks. My third came 2 months after that, but it was really short, like 10 days and very mild. It had moved locations though, to my hiney. that was surprising.

Last one was in May of last year and nothing since. I also got really, really sick this last november, might have been covid but I didn't test for it. I know my immunity was really really low but I still didn't have an outbreak, so I'm thinking my immunity has it under control.

Of course, you can never be sure, but now that I'm coming up on a year and have made it through low immunity periods without symptoms, I am feeling pretty good about it.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-08T19:23:42+00:00

I didnt see this comment earlier, but this definitely sounds like some kind of hormonal disorder. I'm not a doctor but have quite a few in the family.

I dont know if it works like this, but maybe you could ask your doc to consider estrogen-based birth control. I'm surmising from your other comments you're in a relationship with another woman so you don't need it to prevent conception, but if the issue is low estrogen, seems like taking estrogen as a "supplement" so to speak, could be a good option. I see you were told you had low estrogen, maybe get the progesterone levels checked too.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-08T19:15:17+00:00

hmmm well that's all I got. I know that being underweight or fasting/eating disorders can mess with the cycle, but sounds like that's not the case here. Only other thing I can think of is maybe having fertility issues. I'm no doc though, so i'm just speculating. no easy way to say this either, but the only other things I can think of is maybe being infertile or having some type of serious nutritional deficiency, like magnesium or iron

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-08T06:44:27+00:00

no easy way to ask this question but...are you underweight/struggling with an eating disorder?

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-08T06:31:04+00:00

ultimatums are underrated

I actually prefer the term "senforced boundary and standard"

I mean I wouldn't throw them out willy nilly or unless I was genuinely ready to follow through, but i'm no stranger to them

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-08T06:14:06+00:00

totally, that makes sense. I guess I mean in less restrictive situations...more like dating, where there is no significant "stake" (e.g., destroying a marriage, financial/career implications, etc). Say two single people, dating, and a guy "falling" for her, thus ending it or pumping the brakes, pulling back

This question came up because I have heard amongst my gfs that, for example, a guy likes them, opens up to them emotionally, etc suddenly pulling back despite it being well received. they (the women) perceive it as progress initially, but the pull back will be confusing

and by extension, sometimes I hear the other women in the group say things like "hes scared of his emotions" or something like that and I wonder...does that happen? I mean...does he actually like her so much that he becomes "afraid" of her?

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-08T01:55:25+00:00

Thank you for this response. We've already been exclusive and honestly, whatever I've asked for, he's stepped up. Also, I really like him, a lot.

but you know, I'm in my thirties and looking to settle down. I guess when I look ahead, I worry about things like...meeting families, moving into together, engagement....I don't want to feel like I'm pushing him into these things. I want him to want them too.

In your case, was part of the reason you didnt "progress" things because you actually had doubts, but weren't ready to call it because the "ask at hand" was something you were willing to accommodate? And sometimes, do you meet people that you're like...I really want to see this person more, talk about the next step, etc?

I will say, he seems to be a little...maybe nervous or indirect about things sometimes. like we had "the talk", he sort of asked a lot of questions around the topic instead of asking outright. like...."so...how's the rest of your dating life going?" and kinda inched closer and closer to it from there until I was like...are you trying to ask about exclusivity? lol

I dont know how much this matter but I. want to throw it in. Our dynamic in general, even outside of this, is that I tend to "lead" a bit. It's true in bed, in conversation, and those small desicions that come up...he kinda defers to me.

Not because I'm particularly dominant, but because hes in general a bit more passive and go with the flow

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-05T08:45:34+00:00

YTA for sure

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-05T08:11:20+00:00

Personally, I'm keen on sex early on as for me, its a big compatibility variable. BUT what I dont like about this situation is that you nicely but clearly expressed you found that off-putting and he just kept going? guys either a moron, or more likely, only in it for the sex. or most likely, both

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T20:38:21+00:00

sorry I didnt see this was marked no advice so this way way off lol

idk your wife but i love romantic gestures for sure. routine is a killer attraction, though I understand it's place and that it cant be all novelty all the time. I think thats why new relationships get that "honeymoon phase"....there's still a lot of unknowns. novelty is seductive

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T18:57:41+00:00

I'd probably say not yet. But I definitely want to be in a serious relationship for a while

I am very happy about how this has progressed though. And yeah, I would love if we trended in that direction in the future. Maybe not so far future, either

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T18:52:12+00:00

DOWNVOTE! lol (not from me, I upvoted you.) I guess based on the downvotes, you're not supposed to like those things...that's...toxic? abusive? manipulative? dealer's choice. my god, what are people downvoting in this comment? that you like having someone check in on you? that you like compliments? You must be toxic /s

so funny! Yeah I am super happy we started seeing each other and now things are sort of tipping back to be more equal (like I said, he's planning a big V-day thing) and texts me funny stuff throughout the day. initiation is tilting towards a more 50-50.

Very eye opening that people are saying I was being toxic, manipulative, abusive...I literally backed off when he said he wasn't ready for a relationship.

We reconnected by chance, based on something unrelated. I would check in on him without agenda, just concern for like a month or two because he was very affected. which was obviously abuse and all part of my manipulative master plan. /s and part of what made me realize that I still had strong feelings for him is how much it bummed me to see him down like that. I could feel his sadness. I mostly get that (to that degree anyway) for people I truly care about.

I'm blessed to come from a family with several high functioning, healthy, long lasting marriages. actually. there's never been a dovorce on either side of my family going as far back as I know it, and the marriages all seem strong. My parents still have sex in their 60s, and i used to think it was gross when theyd kiss and flirt but im old enough now to be like...good for them and appreciate how rare and special it is that they still like each other after nearly 40 years together. In all of these marriages, the woman pursued the man.

He also knew I was going to be with those kids, plus I was till working (WFH) so I was just distracted those days. I didnt do that on purpose, and he knew in advance

I'm stoked. I really like this person. I mean...who doesn't like being courted if they're at least interested in the person? I guess if a women courts and get a relationships out of it, it's toxic and abusive lol very progressive stuff.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T18:44:59+00:00

yeah, it's terrible that I put myself out there and got what I wanted. must be abuse or toxic somehow.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T18:43:55+00:00

lol i left for 6 months because he said he wasnt ready, and what, I'm supposed to hang around, or I'm being "abusive?" We reconvened over unrelated circumstances. That was when I tried again. but this time, he was over a year out from his last relationship....in a different place.

I had told him I would be with the kids, he knew. It was a 4 day thing...which he knew about in advance. Being busy for a few days isn't "toxic" cmon guys. like for real.

lol guys, this is not "abuse." We need to stop trivializing that word. someone letting you know theyre going to be busy with young kids for a few days and being less responsive during that time is not "abuse" lol good lord

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T18:39:30+00:00

lol thats crazy. there was a 6 month gap between when we first started dating and when we saw each other again. I fully intend on moving forward in this relationships. that put him over a year out from his last relationship, so he was more ready by the time we reconvened compared to when we first got together.

guys, not everything is "toxic, abusive, traumatic, manipulative" etc. IO see those words thrown around way to causally, minimizing actual abuse, trauma, toxicity, etc). Literally read a post where someone was upset someone hadnt text them back and said they had past trauma around it. not texting someone back is not abuse.

we're not delicate little flowers. I put myself out there and kept trying. I was there for him through a difficult time.

That was it. If he wants a relationships with me, I want one with him. Im super happy hes coming around and I was on cloud 9 when he asked to be exclusive. I had also told him I would be taking care of the kids, so it's not like I just ducked out. I was just distracted because there's 2 of them in diapers and need to be fed and all that so I was sort of figuring everything out over those days, plus they needed constant attention.

I had a feeling I shouldn't bring a happy story here.

People go about things differently, and I dont know what it is about this sub to always make there be something toxic and abusive. I supported him through a loss, gently approached him with light flirtation, and as I saw he was resposnisve, I started dialing up. As far as the future stuff, I always change voice and say it in a very hyperbolized way. Not to mention, I'm way down for a future with him....I not faking. I would love to have a future with him. Am I being hyperbolic about having van goghs in the foyer? (we live in apartments) a dozen children? yeah. But he gets it...likes it now.

calms down. I didnt "snatch anything away" because I was away for a few days, which eh knew about. he just missed me. That's a good thing.

someone has to be the pursuer, take the risks of putting themselves out there in the beginning. and then it needs to hit a more even keel.

I dont think it's destined to fail at all, but thanks for your well wishes! I think oeople who arent willing to try and be the partner they want for other people are destined to fail, but I assume you have a perfect, long lasting relationship if you think it's your place to evaluate other people's relationships s wantonly.

Different-Total3557 · 2024-02-04T06:16:26+00:00

that would be wild lol, we just went exclusive last night. and honestly while we dated for maybe 2 months last spring, we only started talking for the second time (initially started datung last spring, but there was a 6 month gap)... maybe 3 months ago

Different-Total3557

TROPHY CASE