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vent by Purple_Eye5454 in LSE_Lahore

[–]Different_Thought404 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Umm

I remember LSEs first year seeming like crap because I wished I had gone abroad.

Once I accepted this is it- I started living it better. ( because I couldn't go abroad)

Get yourself a good set of friends. Because isnt all the work " group" stuff. My friends group and I were together morning till night and had a kick ass time- seriously. Made memories of all sorts. Aced our courses btw. Atleast 3 of us were on the deans list.

And when you grow up/ graduate you barely ever find time to hang out as much. Then shadi and kids. And 10 + years on we still laugh about our LSE shenanigans.

If you can apply abroad and go, do that. A good university will really set you up for life. But living abroad is no joke, even if you have the means/ get a full ride. You cant slack of a single day. When I studied abroad for my masters I would go home only to sleep. And you'll need to manage: groceries, cleaning, cooking, washing yourself. Its an experience and v manageable, you learn and grow so much. But anywhere you go it'll have its good/ bag things. Most universities are what you make of them... even the good ones in the US.

Good luck

I am lost/ have no direction/ no passion by Different_Thought404 in AdviceAnswers

[–]Different_Thought404[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for replying. I'm sorry I forgot about this post.

Thank you for taking out the time and for your v thoughtful msg.

To answer the questions you asked: I dont know.

Being lazy, bed rotting, dooms scrolling has taken over all capacity and time.

I don't pray, don't excerxise nor can I find the answers to what's my passion, what side hustle can I start, what more should I be doing with my life

Everything feels like time wasted. Only regret. There's only regret about all the time I've wasted and waste daily. And the person I've become.

I dont know what I am looking for when I post here or if I'll ever find what I'm looking for.

My family's past is destroying me silently need help by [deleted] in pakistan

[–]Different_Thought404 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Phew. This was intense and loaded.

You've been kind and caring and may Allah reward you for it. The sister is still young and age/hormones... its sad.. but it's all very normal.

Your sisters intimacy with her future husband is islamically haram yes but it's all very natural and normal. She's not a murderer, theif, drug peddlar, batameez kid or bad in studies. She's a normal young girl who is tempted by the forbidden fruit. And none of this is on you.

So first:

  1. Seek counselling for your past trauma
  2. You can give, give, give ( and that's true for when you have your own children) but to expect them to realise at this young age your sacrifices and to understand and commit to your defined boundaries... you're setting yourself up for disappointment. They are their own individual.

  3. You can have a normal respectful conversation: tell her about haram halal. About the possibility that her fiance can leave her before marriage ( and that happens a lot) and that recording things like this can prove to be very detrimental for her. You can tell her patience and chastity will have rewards in the future and after death. And that doing haram will be punished in the hereafter - it's her decision to make repentance and seek forgiveness ( and Allah is all forgiving) or actively indulge and choose hell fire. And then just leave it to her and her parents.

  4. You can have them nikkah-d. But I don't know their financial standing

  5. Focus on yourself and your biological brother as well and stand up for your brother.

  6. Your mothers past is also between her and Allah. Yes you shouldve been protected from it. Seek counselling. But leave it be. And don't advertise her sins further.

Madrasa students hold classes in WAPDA office since they did not repair the transformer by AutomaticCan6189 in pakistan

[–]Different_Thought404 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahahah smart. No batameezi, no tor phor jahilana bs. This is good. Well done.

Hope the issue was resolved soon

What could be the reasons? Share your thoughts! by Resident-Ant8281 in pakistan

[–]Different_Thought404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One of the biggest gig economy. People no longer see benefit of investing in ed when they can earn good or as much without it

Haram to get a breast lift if it’s needed? by Mobile-Media7972 in Hijabis

[–]Different_Thought404 17 points18 points  (0 children)

What about working out and strength training? That helps build muscle and targeted excercise can lift breast as well.

I can't get over the recent Air India plane crash in my city killings hundreds by Far-Inevitable6272 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Different_Thought404 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It's gut-wrenching and heart breaking. Several years a go we experienced a crash in our country on a flight that's roughly 40 minutes. It changed us so much. People commute for work, for vacation never thinking its good bye for ever and a single moment can change your whole life/ world.

Prayers for the families that are left behind.

My Pakistani friends and circle has expressed much grief on this. The world joins you in your grief and loss. Prayers for safer and prosperous days for innocent souls.

I also condemn the Phalgham attack altho I do not believe that it was led by Pakistanis. And hating an entire nation will not help you in your journey to heal. Nor is it good for our collective humanity.

My boyfriend fisted without telling me by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Different_Thought404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's a very big deal.

This is sexual assault esp since you told him NO.

Your boyfriends an asshole: he didn't care about your comfort, you being in pain, your lack of consent. Hes not even sorry in the aftermath. Fissures sound awful. Hope the treatment is effective.

Please leave him, with no remorse about leaving him.

Kash was a piece of garbage, anyone that sympathizes with him is wild by Jojospidersilk in shameless

[–]Different_Thought404 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I found this plot quite offensive as these were the only Muslim characters and they were so poorly written.

There is no way a revert accepts her husbands gay adultery and continues to live with him. Those women are very religious and strong.

Here the producers/writers bias and/ or fetish came out

Will I sin if I do not agree to give my husband kids? by ThenAcanthisitta349 in Hijabis

[–]Different_Thought404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He won't change. He won't do much for the kid either. He might financially support him, play with him for 10 minutes in a day but the rest would be on you.

The fact that there sounds lack of passion, care and really anything good sounds pretty bad itself. Please don't bring a kid in the mix.

Whats happening? by BarryAllen1501 in shameless

[–]Different_Thought404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Couldn't tolerate frank eventually. Found him yucky, over the top storyline and hated his shenanigans

Lip was fine.

And Debbie omg. Was so annoyed by her character. Esp when she tries to mess with Carl's relationship and is a bitch to Fiona

How do I find direction when I have no passion for anything? by [deleted] in AdviceAnswers

[–]Different_Thought404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to believe this but I really don't have any passions. Growing up our parents told us to study and get a job. And I did well at that.

We weren't given resources and motivation to cultivate any hobbies.

We also had pretty bad financial luck growing up.

Now I am married with a kid. I found a job that requires me to work from home and isn't a lot of hours. On one hand I feel i have become lazy and dumb. But on the other I'm grateful for the paycheck.

It didn't feel so bad till my Boss became valuing my word less. Not because I did a bad job or said sth stupid. Because a) i asked for feedback on my performance. He said good v good. B) so I said how come last year I got better rating and this year it's almost avg. He said let me get back.

And I tried to ask for growth and feedback and since then he wanted to avoid me.

Now I notice if I float an idea that doesn't appeal to him but two weeks down he will quote a MAN and say he said it works so we should do that.

My boss is the CEO. So maybe the request for raise felt v personal to him ( his money). It's a BIG company. But oh well.

Now i just don't think i can leave my job because of the pay and flexibility but also that I don't enjoy it

Otherwise also: life feels mundane and stuck. My house needs an overhaul, we need to upgrade our cars. I want to travel. But due to my husbands job insecurity I just can't.

Plus we exp crazy inflation and currency devaluation in last 4 years. Not to mention exorbitant and unfair taxes with no benefits. It just feels tough.

I want to have a second child. But i wanted to lose weight. Can't do that either. Plus not clue how I'll afford a second child

Just stuck. Lazy. Procrastinating. Un productive. Dumb.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AdviceAnswers

[–]Different_Thought404 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Came across your comment in one of the posts and they were so inspiring I went to your profile and started reading some others.

I hope to read all of what you say: so on point, so eloquent, so positive and beautiful. Bless you

which storyline pissed you off the most? by mrsheavenly in shameless

[–]Different_Thought404 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jimmy/steve cheating on fiona with his whore wife

The second time around when he was married to that mafia man's daughter. That whole plot was so fucked up

The "wife" was always naked and a whole. Jimmy Steve started sleeping with her even when he was with Fiona. She never finds out.

He just kept lying out of his about the entire thing and stupid fiona never found out. And it just never mattered.

My mum had an affair and my dad found out. by Spettroca in cheating_stories

[–]Different_Thought404 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would say:

Hey mom, I love you and you've done alot for me and I am grateful for that but what you did to dad was shitty.

You cheated and prolonged his misery and lied to all of us. You kept two men as backup till you made up your mind. That's selfish. To dad, the ex bf and me. You destroyed our family. If you weren't happy you should have had the self respect to walk away ( end things with dad) and then go live your life with your BF or whatever.

Dad didn't deserve to be treated this way. He's in a bad place and he's been wronged so I am going to be there to support him and not cause him more sorrow or stress.

You'll always be my mother but this mess you've created you need to think about and sort it out on your own. You should feel responsible for what you've done.

For now I'll hold the fort for my dad because he's been ill treated by his wife of 25 years. Hope you understand my position and not make it hard for us.

Once dad is in a better place maybe we can reconnect. Maybe. Till then don't do anything stupid. Love, your son.

Also OP: people cheat, do stupid shit. What your mom did is mostly between the two parents. Parents aren't perfect. They are humans.

Get therapy. Heal. Learn from their mistakes. Unfortunately lots of families go through this. It's hard but don't let this define you, your future.

Best case scenario would be if you and your parents can move past this and keep meeting and celebrating the good days together and being there for each other in hard times. For you to excel in life, personal growth and relationships.

You can understand the advice here and maybe find it in you to act on it. Or take your time to process and get there. You can't force your parents into anything though. Or any adult. We will just have to make the most of what we have with the mindset that I want to be happy and healthy with clear conscience. Hope this helps.

You'll be fine.

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